Thursday, September 15, 2016

Things People Probably Think When They See Me Run

I hate to run. I've mentioned this several times. I know some people love it. Some of those people are even my friends. They like to try and get me to join them for marathons and it's not going to happen.

I run because I like to eat food like this:





I won't give up eating food like that, and I'm too cheap to buy new clothes, so I run. I generally run through the neighborhood and people have glanced over at me a few times. Perhaps this is what they are thinking?




1. Why is her face bright red? 
Answer: Because I'm in intense pain and just want to sit down and eat chocolate.



2. When was the last time she shaved? 
Answer: 1997? Kidding. Maybe last week. Perhaps I shouldn't be in shorts, but this is Texas and it's hot. Also, why are you looking at my legs?


3. Why is she breathing so hard? It's not that difficult. 
Answer: I'm breathing hard because I'm IN INTENSE PAIN.


4. She looks like a tomato with hair. 
Answer: You can kiss my pale white ass. I am in intense pain.


5. Is she cursing? 
Answer: I am. I curse because I'm in intense pain. I curse because I'm upset that my metabolism is going and that I have to run in the first place. It's not fair.




6. Her outfit doesn't even match. 
Answer: Yup, I'm usually in purple shorts and a yellow top. Or a red top. I don't give a crap. All my "workout" clothes were bought on clearance. I'm not paying full price to do something I abhor.


7. Is that music from The Beach Boys coming from her headphones? 
Answer: It is. I can't listen to much music of today or else my ears will bleed.


8. Is she diseased? Is all the sweat normal? Should I call 911? Answer: I am not diseased but in intense pain.


9. Are you okay?
Answer: Yes. I'm obnoxiously dramatic after I run. But hey, this is one outfit I have that actually matches. So there's that. (Someone actually asked if I was okay when she saw me doing this in my yard. Sometimes I behave like I've just finished defeating Darth Vader in long ass lightsaber fight.)



So, do you like to run?

47 comments:

  1. I don't particularly like to run but every so often I decide to take up running again and force myself to go out then spend the first few minutes remembering why I don't like it! If I stick at it and go a few times then gradually it gets a bit better. My running clothes also never match but who cares.

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    1. I've been running for a few years now and it still hurts like a mofo. Though I can go longer without stopping at least.

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  2. Haha, it looks like we are separated at birth except I decide not to run for all the reasons stated, and obviously I'm not that fit.:D

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    Replies
    1. Haha, I wish I didn't have to run! But seriously, my metabolism stinks now.

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  4. HA, Oh man, I can't even run for 6 SECONDS without fainting or dying! Props to you. xo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It still hurts after 6 seconds but I tell myself to keep moving!

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  5. Haha!! This is such a funny post!! I wish you were my running buddy! We wouldn't do much running but we would laugh a lot! Manyhugs!!

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  6. I used to love it, but my knees hate it now so I'm a walker. You have to walk twice as long, running is faster ugh

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    Replies
    1. Yup, I used to just walk but then realized I wasn't burning enough calories :/ I prefer to fast walk.

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  7. Oh I know. Running is insane. I like The Beach Boys! I listen to all sorts of stuff when I'm out exercising. Podcasts are my favorite. They keep me going. Check out Phil and Lisa Ruin the Movies. It's a good one!

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  8. Hahaha I actually don't mind the running part; I just don't know how I like running outside... I need somewhere with a temperature control! Do you have a running playlist or is it strictly just the beach boys?

    xo
    AH

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    Replies
    1. I have a playlist! It has all sorts of songs on it.

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  9. I'm not paying full price to do something I abhor!! Lol ������ love it !

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  10. Hahahah this is hilarious. I run so that I can drink wine!

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    Replies
    1. Nice. I don't like wine, but I do love my chocolate.

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  11. "I'm not going to pay full price for something I abhor." Is my favorite sentiment of this whole thing. I feel the same way!

    What about
    "Did she jump in a pool?
    Nope, I don't glisten, I straight up sweat!

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  12. LOL! This is definitely me when I run too! I don't have a ton of cute outfits so I don't look like a model but, I honestly workout just so I can eat more cakes and pies! LOL

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  13. Oh my gosh. You have made me laugh this morning! Too funny. I hate to run and I'm so out of shape I'd probably have a heart attack if I tried. But I commend you!

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  14. Ha ha, when I ran, that was pretty much me, too!

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  15. Too funny! I do not like to run and if I did, I'd have the same sentiments. I also work out because I like to eat. Stupid metabolism.

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    Replies
    1. Yes :( I liked when I could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight.

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  16. Hahaha, I love the picture of you at the end! Too funny. All my workout clothes are mismatches as well. :)

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  17. Not a runner here. I feel all flabby and all over the place. So I don't run. Ever.

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  18. I don't run, but I do like to walk. I don't do it as often as I'd like but i try to a few days a week

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  19. Girl, you crack me up!! I have avoided running here because of the heat and humidity but I think now I have to get back on it, even though I do work out on a regular basis... Damn being older and my metabolism halting to a grind. Sigh.

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  20. really enjoyed your q and a .chocolates are like bungee jumping .

    i wear match clothes only when i go out of my house ,
    thanks for smiles ,loved the last pic so much

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  21. I only run if I'm being chased!
    My 18 yoa son is on the Cross Country and Track Team at school. He runs anywhere from 5 to 9 miles a day....willingly!

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  22. Hello Dear,

    Glad that you enjoy running! It's good for everybody to sweat and be active. Who cares what everyone else's thinks. It is your own life not theirs. Don't think too much, it only gives you negative energy.

    For Urban Women

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  23. This is hilarious... I was the at the gym last night screaming obscenities in my head.... I did not want to be on that treadmill and the food commercials on the tv were not my friends.

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  24. Hahaha too cute!!!! I do t wanna e en know what people say when they see me run lol....

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  25. Your post made me smile! And your obnoxiously dramatic lying down pic on the ground is hilarious and yeah! it looks like we need to call 911...lol!

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  26. They come in Big Size now! Oh dear. I need those in my life.
    That's also why I need to run.

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  27. I'm not a runner yet but I'm working on it. I like to eat high calorie food so I also need to work out. I get really hateful when I exercise too. So people probably laugh at the scowl on my face or the weird pained facial expression I make. Which is great in a group exercise class with mirrors :( But I'm like you, why are you looking at me anyways?

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  28. I hate to run too and why are they looking at your legs. They should keep their eyes up.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not sure if they're ACTUALLY thinking what I've put here. I'm imagining :)

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  29. I think #9 is dead on the money for what people think about my running :)

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  30. I don't run, I cycle. No matter how bad a day I think I am doing on the bike I'm always doing better than the lard arse on the sofa!

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