Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Why My Husband Isn't Going On Vacation With Us

I'm going on vacation next week. My kids are coming. But my husband is not.

There are reasons why my husband isn't traveling with us.



1. Work. He's in the military. He's a TI in the Air Force, so getting leave can be tricky. A TI means he's the one that helps to instruct the new people coming into the military at boot camp. You can't just be like, "I'm going on vacation!" You need to plan. And because he hasn't been at this base for a year, he knew he wouldn't be able to get off. But he gave us his blessing.





2. He can't take too much of Disney. He was there in 2008 and I believe we stayed for 6 days. It was a bit much for him. He's not a fan of crowds. He's not a fan of the peppiness of Disney characters. He says he can take 2 days of Disney, and it's about it for him. The kids and I are staying 4 days.







3. He can get a little moody. I'm not always a fan of traveling with my husband because he can be cranky when there are tons of people around. I wish he would be constantly upbeat, but it's not his personality. I get it. I tend to get hangry and snap. I know I'm not perfect either. I also know I'm not the only one who bickers with my husband on vacation. While I  was at Sea World, a husband and wife were snipping at one another. "Well, where are we headed? You tell ME, Deborah!" And Deborah was like, "I'm not the one planning all of this. It would be nice if someone else had a plan!" I smiled, because it reminded me I wasn't alone.

This is how my husband smiles 90% of the time



4. Florida isn't his favorite place. But he did say he'd go back with us one day if we only did 2 days of Disney. He'd want to do 1 day of Universal, plus go the Kennedy Space Center. We'd probably also do the Titanic museum. I don't know when this will happen. One day, I hope!



We'll miss him when we go. We'll text and talk daily. And I'm grateful he gave his blessing when I asked if the kids and I could go to Disney knowing full well he wouldn't be there. He knows vacations are important, even if the entire family can't make it. (He was actually supposed to go to Disney World when we went in 2015 but a last minute deployment popped up. Naturally. We still went, again, with his blessing.) The last time he was in Disney World was in 2008.

When your husband is in the military, it can be tricky going on family vacations. His loyalty is to his country first and you have to accept it. I do, but begrudgingly sometimes. He was able to take leave in July so we're hoping to visit his mother in North Carolina. It'll be our first family vacation in years.



So do you go on vacation without your significant other?

53 comments:

  1. What a great husband to understand and know his limits and a great wife to know and understand yours. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else it's what works for you. Have a wonderful trip

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  2. My boyfriend is in the reserves. While he's only there Wednesday's and weekends I understand the lifestyle. He's been deployed once to Afghanistan as well.
    While I would hope he could come on all of our family vacations I would understand if he couldn't make it. And I hope he would give his blessings like your husband has given you.
    Your not alone!!

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  3. My fiancé smiles the same way! I told him that we have to work on his smiling before our big day! Lol

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  4. I know you have fun with the kids at Disney. It's a special bonding time for you and them! They will always remember that! North Carolina is gonna be a blast.
    I don't go without my husband, but I would lol. Product of being an only child right?? Independent at birth!!

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    1. Heck yes! I've gone to NYC without my husband and had a girls trip ;)

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  5. I can definitely relate to this! Kyle has had to miss out vacations with family because of the military and he understands. He has always given me his blessing to go without him if it's something that I really want to be a part of. He would never want to deny me and E the ability to go on vacation even if he couldn't go. It's great of your understand to realize all those things and give his blessing.

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  6. Ah that can happen at times. I feel for you guys though - vacations are somehow incomplete without everyone being there together

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  7. We haven't been on a family holiday yet but I couldn't imagine not going with my other half. It must be hard to leave him behind.

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  8. I could imagine.. Same with my Dada, Disneyland is not his favorite, so he always bribe me to some luxurious travel than go to Disneyland in HK. Hahaha but well, I prefer the luxury travel though :)

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  9. I feel you girl, my husband is moody as well. But your husband is such a honey as he still gives you his blessings when you want to travel when he's away. You're a lucky wife.

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  10. ahah this is how my husbant smiles lol

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  11. haha....
    I couldn't imagine going on vacation without my husband! He is my life, my joy and my love. I wouldn't want to go on vacation without him. 😊

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    1. I've done many without my husband and still had a blast :) But he got leave in July so we can go on a family vacation then.

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  12. I so adore reading your blog!!! It is straight from the hip and yes we all do that on holiday so why not go without! I hope you have a blast!

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  13. It's nice to have the husband blessing, why shouldn't he then? But not that we "need" it, after all it's 2017 and we wives are free people aren't we? ;)

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  14. With a husband in medical school (and only starting out!), I imagine there will be plenty of vacations without him. But that's OK. I feel like I'm getting to explore the things I want to explore and it makes the time we have together so much more enjoyable! <3

    Have such an incredible trip! Can't wait to hear about all the adventures :)

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  15. Yes, Last year was the first time not going with the Mister. It was hard at first for my son, but he got over.

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  16. I love that he's cool with everyone going without him and he isn't resentful of that. I also love that you're cool going without him so that you and the kids can have a good time without the military ruling your entire life.

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  17. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. I'm so glad you are not dependent on his accompanying you and kids!

    My husband is a photographer, so he can spend a week at Disney if our kids or grandchildren are with us. He never gets tired of taking pictures of their joy. If we were alone, he would spend about two hours in Epcot Center and call "Uncle"! Not a fan of crowds either!

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  18. I get it - my husband is retired Air Force and vacation could definitely be challenging. But unlike your hubby, mine LOVES Disney :)

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  19. I did last year when I won a vacaction to a beach. He was not able to get the time off and told me to go enjoy a trip by myself. It was a nice time but it would have been better with the family.

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  20. Good for you for having the courage to do things on your own. I think tackling Disney on my own with the kids would be more than I could handle, but I admire you for doing it! When Dad's away a lot (and doesn't enjoy Disney), the family doesn't have to suffer.

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  21. Oh well, you can start first thing in the morning and stop last thing, without worrying about your Training Instructor getting all cranky! I reckon you owe him a trip to the Space Centre though!

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  22. Disney is a lot to handle when you spend an entire week at the happiest place on earth!

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  23. At least you guys are a team and he gave you his blessing. It's funny, I love Disney but I'm not a fan of crowds either.

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  24. Enjoy your holiday! He will be happy seeing you having fun, he loves you all!

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  25. We as a family like to do things together. So far we haven't encountered a situation where either of us don't like a location but I can understand when one doesn't get leave from work. You have fun and looking forward to see all your Disney pictures.

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  26. This is my hubby too. He did travel with us when he was home, but I enjoyed travel much better when it was just the two of us. He isn't patient enough to deal with travel and kids at the same time. Don't get me started on Disney, that's definitely not his thing either. But have a great time, you'll be able to share it with him in stories and pictures.

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  27. My ex used to go on vacation without me. But that was not the same situation as you have here. It sounds like you have a good understanding. With the exception of one family vacation, she would go without me if she felt like it. And then if I had time off and we would plan a vacation, she would try to find reasons to cancel and we would always never go. It was sad.

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  28. I exclusively vacation with my husband and children and not having the freedom to take off when I wanted to is one of the reasons why I retired from the military. For me it just wasn't worth what I was going to miss out on with my family by being a soldier.

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  29. This is going to be so awesome! It's a dream vacation. We're so happy for you all. It's too bad your hubby can't make this time, but you and the kids will have a blast. It's Disney!

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  30. If he can't come to your vacation (which I understand its a bummer, it will be fun going out as a complete family) but that okay. Everyone has its own reason. Let him enjoy his time.

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  31. You have your kids with you and you have all the reason to have fun. Besides, the vacation might be ruined if one of you was not in the mood. There is still a lot of chances to travel with him and enjoy it with the whole family.

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  32. I enjoy doing stuff with...it's fun to watch the way they react to stuff...I have no kids and I'd feel weird going alone...I think it's awesome you guys are aware of each other's emotional needs...and respect each other...it's seems to be working for you...rock on

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  33. I know you'll have an amazing time with the kids! Shame he can't go, but hopefully you guys can all go somewhere together soon...!! I've definitely gone on hols without the SO..

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  34. It's still nice that your kids and you will be going to Disney even though your husband won't be there. Your kids would understand. There will always be another time in the future.

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  35. I hope you and your kids enjoy your time spent on the vacation in the event that your husband will be missing.

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  36. I'm sure he's going to miss you guys a lot too. It's a little tough when you plan on traveling alone with the kids but I'm sure you can handle all of it, after all, Disney will keep them occupied most of the time.

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  37. Awww... that must be hard. I hope you have fun, though, and cherish memories for him.

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  38. That's too bad and it is difficult taking multiple children to a theme park with only one parent especially when the kids want to go in different directions. I was in the military too and I had to plan my get aways during rotation time.. the time when we were between our monthly obligations. I'm sure it's much more difficult as a TI because the rotations are much further apart. Richard B

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  39. It is wonderful that your husband is kind enough to give you his blessing. Disney can be a lot to handle for some people. My dad works for them and he can barely handle being in the parks- ha! But, you are going to have a blast and your kids are so lucky you are willing to go and deal with them 24/7 at a theme park without back up. You deserve that milk shake mama!!!

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  40. Amber whatever works for you has to be done.Holidays are a must for us.I would however not survive 1 day without my hubby .He keeps me alive !

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  41. My sig other is my favorite travel partner. We go everywhere together most of the time. Like the time I went on a solo trip through Europe. When a girls got to go a girls got to go haha!

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  42. Really haven't yet because the kids have been so young. I think about it a lot, though. I do a lot of day trips with them, but with Des still not being totally night trained not to wet his bed and with my ability to lose patience and get exhausted, it just hasn't happened. I want to change that!

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  43. I think it's great that you are still going. People should go places they enjoy and if he doesn't enjoy it and you do with the kids go and have a great time.

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  44. my husband would be thrilled if he never had to go to Disney again lol. We live in Florida, about an hour or so from Orlando so he is over it

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  45. I am so happy for you and your family being able to go to a great vacation spot, but sorry that your husband can't make it. Thank your husband for his service and you have a wonderful time!

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  46. I understand where you're coming from. However, I still admire you because you have a deep understanding of your husband's job. I know there is a fun loving person inside him but because of his job, he has to keep it suppressed. I hope you and the kids get to enjoy your Disney vacation and always update your husband with photos of you and the kids. He'll love it for sure.

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  47. Oh I hear you and I'm sure many of us have gone through one of these vacations. I can so understand his situation too as they're constantly under so much but I'm happy that you do understand and manage everything :)

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  48. It would be the same if I got a spa resort or a theme park holiday..

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  49. I don't think I could take too much Disney either.

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  50. I travel without my significant other all the time (I'm a travel blogger and he has a pretty stationary job). It's always fun and it's that much more enjoyable when he gets to come along.

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  51. Disneyland sin't the happiest place on earth without the hubby. Sad to read that your hubby isn't coming but you deserve a break. Do it for yourself.

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