Phone Rules For Tween Girls

For the past few years, Natalie has been begging me for a real phone.

"All my friends have one!" she'd tell me.

"Who they heck is everyone calling? They just know their parents," I'd answer and she'd roll her eyes at me.

I always thought I'd wait until she was 13 before agreeing to a phone. But I didn't realize I'd have such a social kid who talks to everyone. I was always an introvert. Sure, I had friends, but I'd honestly prefer to read 90% of the time. Natalie? Well, she's talking to this person, and then to that person, and to the old man sitting on the bench. Sometimes she'd be at her friends house, and I'd have to go get her when it was time to go home if something came up here. Sometimes it was going to dinner, other times I just wanted her home so she didn't overstay her welcome.

This would mean I'd have to pull on real pants so I wouldn't scare the parent, and, well, sometimes I didn't want to put on real pants when I was all cozy.

And then Natalie does after school activities, and I wouldn't know what was happening, so I thought, okay, maybe a phone would come in handy.

So. I gave Natalie my old phone, because I do not believe children should have better phones than adults unless they pay for them on their own.

She might have her own phone, but she has rules, and trust me when I say she needs to follow them or that phone is going away.

1. Do not, I repeat, do not ever write U for you or UR for your. It's ridiculous. Spell out the whole word. Proudly show that you completed elementary school. Always use the proper your and you're. It's YOU'RE welcome. It's pick up YOUR room. These are lessons learned in the second grade.

2. NEVER talk to people you don't know in real life. If you get a text and you don't know who sent it, delete. Block.



3. NEVER give out personal information before clearing it with me. You might come across people who SAY they are your age, but are really gross old men in stained underpants. I've seen enough episodes of Dateline NBC to know this.



4. Know that parents have the right to check the phone at ANY time. I go through my children's phones at the end of the day. I'll read texts and see what they've looked up or what sites they've been on. If they live in this house, there's no such thing as complete privacy. Sorry.

5. No Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc until you are 13. I don't CARE if all your friends have an account. You'll wait until 13 like your brother did.



6. Do not ever meet anyone you talk to online. That's a quick way to get kidnapped. Even if the person sends a photo of themselves looking like someone your age, know that anyone can do that. Remember the Catfish episodes we've watched?



7. If a boy asks to send a photo of your breasts or other body parts, bring the phone immediately to your father and I promise, the boy will never ask again. (Natalie was all, "Ew, why would a boy ask that? Most of the boys in my class are still farting and laughing about it," and I said, "Trust me. It'll happen.") If you're tempted to send a photo of a body part, just know there's a 99% chance it'll end up plastered all over your school and sent to many other people. I do not want to come face to face with your boob in the principal's office.


8. No cyberbullying. It's easy to be cruel when you're sitting behind a screen but remember the lessons you've been taught to always be kind. I don't care if your friends want to gang up on someone. It's not right, and I hope you'll always remember that.



My daughter has had her phone for about a month now, and it seems to be going well. She loves that she can send me texts from school, and I admit, I smile when I get them. Plus, when I forget she has an after school activity, she can text me about it. (Would I prefer that she write out no problem instead of NP? Yes. But at least she spells almost everything else out.)

I can also send her texts to come home so I don't have to put on real pants, which is thrilling.

What age do you think kids should have phones?