Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lunch with an Internet Friend

Today I had lunch with someone I met on the Internet.

Tom was not pleased when I let him know.

"Be careful," he warned. "Do I need to give you some mace?"

I explained that I had met the person on CafeMom. That we had been e-mailing back and forth for months and that she seemed perfectly sane.

"Anyone can pretend to be sane online," Tommy answered gruffly.

Which is true. Believe me, I've seen enough Montel, Oprah, Dr. Phil and the news to know that this is true.

But I just knew that the person who I was going to meet was perfectly normal.

Her name is Theresa and her husband actually works at the base an hour from here. But they're moving down to this base in June. And her husband is in security forces as well.

My husband has been pushing me to meet people.

See, I can be extremely anti-social. And my husband wishes that I'd go out and make friends.

When we went to his squadron BBQ he kept pressing me to talk to people.

"I'm not just going to butt into a conversation," I hissed at him.

"Why not? Just DO it. You need to MEET people," he hissed back.

But it's just not my style to butt into a conversation. Kudos to those who can do it but I'm just not comfortable enough.

If I just forced myself into a conversation I can just imagine everyone else stop talking and staring at me with a confused expression. Then you would hear crickets in the background and I'd slowly slink back saying, "Sorry..heh...carry on.." with my face bright red.

Anyhow, Theresa and I decided to meet at the China Buffet.

We both love to eat.

And I especially love buffet style restaurants.

Natalie and I arrived a little early and waited out front for Theresa. She came a few minutes later and then we walked inside and were shown a booth.

Natalie seemed baffled. She kept flicking glances to Theresa.

Who are you? the looks clearly said.

I loaded up my plate. There was delicious dish after delicious dish. I gave Natalie a pile of rice and noodles which she basically played with. She put one of the noodles in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. But the rest were sprinkled onto the floor.

Theresa and I fell into an easy conversation. Natalie started to get impatient towards the end. She'd stand up in the highchair and try to climb down. As if she were saying, "I'm done eating. I'm outta here!"

When I'd get her to sit down she'd start to give me her warning whine.

"I am two seconds away from embarrassing the crap out of you," the warning whine tells me.

I moved her over to the booth to see if she'd cruise along it.

She did not want the booth.

She wanted to crawl along the floor.

"Sorry Natalie," I said. "You can't."

She did not like that answer.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" went the whine.

I tried to get her to stand beside my seat but she immediately crumpled to her butt and then tried to crawl off.

See ya!

"Natalie," I said, gathering her up.


Thankfully we were just about finished.

So I buckled Natalie into her carseat (yup she still fits in hers being that she's only 16 lbs) and we headed out.

Theresa was going to come to the mall with me to check out the Gymboree sale.

I love spreading my sickness for children's clothing to everyone obviously.

We got to the mall and I buckled Natalie into the umbrella stroller. She immediately scooted down so that her feet were dangling just inches from the ground.

"Natalie," I said, re-arranging her. "Sit up."


She gave me a dirty look as we started to wheel into the mall.

I didn't think my Gymboree would have a lot. For one, it's a small store. For two, we're in Wyoming.

Sure enough, they didn't have as many good deals as other stores.

But I did find a good number of things.

I think I only paid over $10 for one item. The rest were under.

I spent a total of $45 which is good for me.

Because I had a $25 enrollment bonus for signing up for the Gymboree Visa as well.

Plus since I use the Gymboree Visa I get an additional 5% off.

My arms were filled with clothes by the time I was done.

A sickness, I tell you.

It's all for the fall and winter though.

That's what I told myself when I set all the clothes on the counter.

"Not for now. For LATER," I was telling my Voice of Reason because it started to get it's panties in a knot. "For later in the year."

Still, my Voice of Reason couldn't help but say, You have two huge bins in Natalie's closet full of clothes for the fall and winter. She has ENOUGH.

Oh shut up, you, I told the Voice of Reason.

Someone has a sickness, a sickness la-de-dahhhh, my Voice of Reason sang. For some reason my Voice of Reason sounded like Dolly Parton when it sang. Huh??

I actually got clothes for Tommy too though.

Some of the Easter stuff was also dirt cheap and the kid loves to dress up. I got him the blazer for $12.99. That was the most expensive item that I bought today.

Pictures will come tomorrow, I promise.

Theresa even found some stuff too.

After that I had to leave because Natalie was just pissed off beyond all reason by that point. She did NOT want to sit in her stroller. She did NOT care to be held. She WANTED to crawl, dammit, was that so hard for me to comprehend??

I wished I could have stayed longer but Natalie was full out crying at that point and I knew it was only going to get louder.

So we parted ways and I imagine we'll get together again.

Natalie cried dramatically all the way out to the car.

She cried dramatically as I strapped her into the carseat.

All I wanted, she was basically telling me, was to crawl around. That's ALL I WANTED!!!

Sorry kid.

She fell asleep on the way home. And then when I got her out of the carseat she assumed that those ten minutes were all the nap she needed.

"I don't think so," I told her.

I offered her some breastmilk, which she happily took. She still hates regular milk. I tried everything. Cold milk, warm milk, chocolate milk, strawberry's all CAH-RAPPPP in her eyes.

Then I set her in her crib.

The minutes I turned to leave the waterworks started.


"Natalie, it's naptime. That little sleep you got in the car was not enough. I know you. You'll be a royal terror at around 6 and be like that for the rest of the night. And it's not fun for Mommy. So please, get some more sleep," I told her, walking out.


She cried for a full minute and then I heard her play with her toys. She babbled at her books and her stuffed animals that share a crib with her.


I went up to get her because I cannot stand to hear my child unhappy for too long.

I gave her more breastmilk.

She tried to bite me towards the end. She finds it amusing when I shriek, "OUCH!"

I try not to shriek but I can't help it. I mean sharp razors on my nipple hurts, yo.

Then I set her back down.

This time she complied.

She's still sleeping now, thank goodness.

I better go clean while she is sleeping.


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