Friday, April 24, 2009

The Chocolate Volcano

So, okay.

The Mall of America trip was awesome.

I'm not going to lie.

In fact, I think Jennifer and I will be planning another vacation. Maybe to New York City. I've always wanted to go. She's always wanted to go. So it would be perfect.

But anyhow, I already wrote about how my plane trip was on my way to the Mall of America.

Jennifer and I basically dumped our luggage off in our hotel room and headed straight for the mall, which was across the street. The thing that amused me was when we were checking in, the lady behind the front desk said, "If you want to take the shuttle to the Mall of America it's out back."

I sort of gave her a bewildered look when she said that. Because hello, the mall is across the street.

"Can't we just walk?" I asked stupidly.

Because again. The mall was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

Maybe that's why America has a weight problem: because there are shuttles that take people places that are right across the street.

The lady behind the desk looked surprised that I'd even mention walking. She sort of blinked at me a few times and replied, "I suppose you COULD walk..." as though the thought had never occured to her.

So yes. Jennifer and I walked. It took all of five minutes to get into the mall.

And then...

We were inside the largest mall in the world.

Or maybe it's just the largest mall in America.

It doesn't really matter. All I know is when I stepped inside, that I wanted to twirl around with my hands straight out and sing a song about the mall as though I were a Disney character or something.

I didn't though.

I didn't want to embarrass Jennifer. Oh, and I can't sing.

Instead I just calmly gazed around in awe and said something like, "Wow."

The first store that we went into was Gymboree.

Of course.

You'll be shocked to know that I didn't buy a thing. Oh, of course I oohed and awed over the tiny outfits but I reminded myself that the kids had a drawer full of clothes. And totes. And closets.

We basically just walked into store after store and tried to avoid those annoying workers at the kiosks. They would leap out in front of you with a straightener in their hand and shout, "Can I make your hair straight?" and we'd be all, "No thank you!" and they'd still talk to us about how our hair would thank us or something like that.

No means no.

We ate at The Rainforest Cafe that night.

It must be an annoying place to work because every half hour the entire room would flash and the animals would go off.

This is Bogey, the monkey that we were seated in front of. He'd go off every half hour and make loud monkey noises. I wanted to tell him that we got the concept the first time and he didn't have to continue going apeshit like that but he didn't listen.

Jennifer and I both ordered the chicken chimichangas. I think they were the cheapest thing on the menu at $14.99.

Everything was tasty except for the beans. The beans tasted like gruel. Not that I've ever HAD gruel but I can imagine that they'd taste about the same.

The Rainforest Cafe has this delicious volcano dessert that Jennifer and I had to try. The thing is, when the waiters bring it out, they sing to you.

Our waiter started to sing as he brought it to us and I was making a chopping motion against my neck and hissing for him to cut it out.

I don't like people to sing to me.

Not even on my birthday. It happened a few times and when it does, my face gets bright red and I force a smile on my lips so I don't look ungrateful or anything--but honestly, I'm not a person who likes to be the center of attention. When I'd give reports in front of the class while I was in school, I hated when the teacher would clap her hands and shout at the students to give the speaker their undivided attention.

I always wanted to shout, "You know, that's okay, keep talking. I'll do my thing, you keep doing yours and it'll be fantastic."

Thankfully our waiter cut out the singing.

He placed our delicious volcano down...

...and I practically drooled all over the table.

Forget jewelry. If you bring me out chocolate, I'm good to go.

Basically, I'm a cheap date.

The waiter took a picture of us digging in.

We ate...and we ate...and we ate..

...and then we had to admit defeat.

Then the next evening we went out to TGI Fridays for drinks.

I hadn't had alcohol in over two years because I was breastfeeding.

I ordered the appletini, which made me giggle because that's what JD off Scrubs orders.

I love the show Scrubs by the way. It always makes me laugh. I wish I had a friend like JD. I think we'd totally hit it off. Of course, it would be a bit odd because we both stare off into space and start to think strange things. So there we'd be, standing there, our heads cocked to the side looking comatose.

Oh well.

The appletini was delicious.

Jennifer got a mojito, which is fun to say.

We also ordered some food because we figured we could stuff our faces and it would be okay since we were doing so much walking.

I got the brownie dessert and Jennifer got some nachos.

Yuck, it came with guacamole, which tastes like flavored paste. Not that I've ever HAD paste (maybe in kindergarten) but as I've said a lot, I have a vivid imagination.

I also ordered this blue lemonade drink that was quite tasty.

Apparently I'm a light weight because by the time we left, I was feeling a slight buzz.

Oh, and everything was funny to me.

Jennifer and I took some pictures, which I'll share on Monday.

Here is a preview of one of them:

I've entitled it why Amber should not drink booze.


  1. I love the last picture! You look like you are having a blast!!

    And that volcano! Hello!

  2. you and your friend are too cute. Glad you had fun. My question is: did they have a shuttle inside the mall? Since it's so big, I bet us Americans would love it. I always wonder why people try to park so close to a mall, and then go walk 5 - 10 miles once they're inside.

  3. I'm so jealous!! I so would like to go there. The pictures are awesome. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Looks like a great time! I hate those koisks! I stay as far away from them as I can!

  5. Glad you had a blast! I've been there before. I remember walking into some skater clothes shop and they had a couch set up in front of a tv hooked up to a gaming console. It was pretty cool... but one of the guys who worked there kept handing me runts (and only the banana ones. hmmmmm?). Anyways, do they still have cereal world? That placed rocks. Go right up to the bar and order a bowl of cereal! LOL!

  6. See, you need to have fresh guacamole from California, then you'd discover that it doesn't taste like flavored paste....Looks like you had a great time and now I want a chocolate volcano.

  7. Sounds like you had a great trip to Mall of America. I've never been. However, I have been to a Rainforest Cafe in Nashville, TN. Pretty neat... And, I love scrubs, but alas, I prefer margaritas to appletinis. You crack me up. :) MMMmmm... chocolate volcano...

  8. The volcano looks fabulous!!!!! I think that would have been my dinner!!

    Oh... and we clap our hands because it does annoy you!!! to be quiet!!! I shall clap even more next week for the kiddos in your honor. LMAO!!!!

  9. Hey I tagged you...check out my blog!

  10. Sounds like a fun vacation! I love your writing...and the descriptions...gruel and paste...too funny!

    Can't wait to hear more about that last pic!

  11. that last pic looks interesting, amber. you look like the life of the party, totally not the shy girl you're trying to say you are haha

    i need to go to the moa soon. I'm only like 5 hours away, afternoon trip!

    glad you had fun:)

  12. Ooh...appletini's are the best!!! Mojito's rock too! And judging by the last pic, you had a great time.

  13. I love confusing people by taking pictures at restaurants. I'm sure there are lots of people taking pictures at the Rainforest Cafe, but not so much at Outback.

  14. You two are hilarious! Looks like an awesome time. And I want a friend like JD too! I could sit in a bar and drink appletini's all night!

  15. It looks like the perfect vacation to me!

    Girl, I've got to get you some REAL chimichangas and gucamole. Trust me--it ain't pasty!

  16. The mall sounds awesome.

    And I am also a cheap date - give me a chocolate dessert and I'm a happy woman.


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