“No swim lessons tomorrow,” Natalie’s teacher told me on Wednesday.
My heart immediately lifted. This meant I could shop the 75% off Target toy sale on Thursday. I had been worried that I’d miss all the deals since Natalie has lessons in the morning.
Now they were cancelled.
Why were they cancelled? Maybe all the teachers knew about the sale. Maybe they wanted to take all the toys. WHAT IF THEY TOOK ALL THE TOYS?
If they take all the toys it doesn’t matt—
“Mommy?” Natalie tugged on my shirt. “Can we go?”
Oh. Right. Focus. I tend to go off into JD-from-Scrubs daydreams several times throughout the day.
I know, it’s silly to look forward to a sale. But 75% off toys is a fabulous deal. You can get stuff for birthdays. For Christmas. For bribes. Not that I bribe. (Okay, once in awhile. But it’s for GOOD things. Like good grades. Or…I once told Natalie, “If you stop crapping in your pants, you can have this creepy Yo Gabba Gabba doll.” And hey, it worked.)
I wasn’t even sure if I’d find any deals. I found them all the time at the Target in Wyoming, where I used to live.
But what if the Target in Oklahoma didn’t have any deals?
I couldn’t ask the workers. Most of them act as though you’re stupid if you mention a 75% off sale. I’m sure it’s in their training “don’t tell the customer if things are being marked down further. We’re here to make money people” but still, don’t blink at me and say things like, “Oh, toys never go that cheap.”
I hated the fact that I had to bring the kids, too. But I had no childcare. So they’d have to come along.
On Thursday morning we left the house around 9. A lot of people who shop this sale are at the Target doors at 8, when they open. I am not like this. I like my sleep.
So we get to Target and I get out of the car and start scanning the parking lot for people walking out with huge bags of toys. I saw a woman with a full cart and my heart dropped. She took everything. I’m too late. I’m—oh, wait, it was just filled with toilet paper. Phew.
“Mommy?” Natalie called. “Mommy?”
Crap! I left my kid. She was standing on the sidewalk, blinking at me as I walked away.
But really, why was she just STANDING there when we had a sale to get to? Sometimes I don’t understand her.
I went back and scooped her up.
“I want to walk,” Natalie said, struggling free. “I WANT TO WALK!”
My ears started to ring. Now I was partially deaf. But no matter, I didn’t need to hear in order to get great deals.
Natalie walked slowly. Then she’d stop for a few seconds, twirl around, and start walking again.
She knew she was bugging me.
She loves to bug me.
Ten minutes later we made it inside. I put her in a cage (re: the cart) and started heading for the toy section.
I saw the most beautiful site.
A Target worker was marking down all the toys 75% off.
And then I saw a horrifying site.
A woman was already there. With two carts filled with toys. (No, not Natalie’s swim teacher.)
Still. I had to see if anything was left.
And lucky for me, there was. I mean, yes, Two Cart Lady took all the Transformers. And all the Princess stuff.
Apparently I’m cursed on having a Target Toy Sale opponent. In Wyoming, it was Old Lady Hog.
In Oklahoma, it’s Two Cart Lady.
See, I love a deal, but I never take ALL of everything. It’s common courtesy.
This lady, I suppose, didn’t get the memo.
I managed to find this:
The Vtech laptop was $29.99. I got it for $7.48
The Cars 2 set was $39.99. I got it for $9.98
I only got that set because it fell out of Two Cart Lady’s cart and she didn’t notice. She kept walking towards the checkout and Natalie was like, “It’s the Cars movie. Hi, Lightening McQueen.”
So I scooped that baby right up.
Sadly, Two Cart Lady took all the Cars 2 Lego sets, the kind Tommy likes to build.
Next year, I’ll get to Target a little earlier and see if I can beat Two Cart Lady.
If I’m tired, well, there is a Starbucks in the Target.
So I’m all set.