I’m back from Hawaii.
I already miss it.
But before we made it to Hawaii, we had to travel on a long airplane ride.
I do not like airplanes.
It all started last Monday morning. Well, wait. It really started the night before, because I was trying to pack for the trip. I suck at packing. I was standing in my closet wondering what I should bring. Tom finished deciding what he wanted to bring in five minutes.
“Done,” he said, tossing in his final shirt.
Meanwhile, I was still debating if I should bring my pink flip flops or just stick with the black ones.
What perfume should I bring? The kind that made me smell like peaches or the more sultry one?
Did I need my straightener? Probably. What if my hair didn’t like Hawaii?
Did I need—
“Why are girls so complicated?” Tom wanted to know. “Guys are simple. We toss in clothes, deodorant and a toothbrush and we’re done.”
By the time I was done, I felt like I had packed most of my closet.
Tom thought I had packed most of my closet.
“There is no way you’ll wear all these clothes,” Tom said, bewildered.
“I might,” I insisted. I nodded my chin towards the various dresses. “I never know what occasion we’ll be confronted with. And who knows, I might want to pretend to be in the 1900s where they changed like five times a day.”
Tom shook his head and muttered something about complicated women and their packing.
We were dropped off at the airport the next day. I said goodbye to the kids—Natalie was like, “Don’t forget me.” Don’t forget her? We weren’t even going to be gone for a week! Way to make me feel guilty.
Then it came time for security, which I hate. It makes me cranky. It makes Tom cranky. This is why we could never, ever do The Amazing Race together. Our conversation went something like this in the security line:
Tom: You need to take off your jacket. (Yes, I brought a light jacket. Airplanes make me cold, yo.)
Me: Why? I’ll be going through the scanner anyway.
Tom: I travel more than you do. You’ll need to take off your jacket. Don’t tell me how to travel.
Me: I really don’t think—
Airplane Worker: You need to take off your jacket ma’am.
Tom: *Tossing me a knowing smug look* I told you. Like I said, I know how to travel.
Me: Well congrats to you, asshole.
I know. I shouldn’t name call. But security gets me tense. Especially when the lady behind me was practically pushing me along as I took my shoes off. And I don’t like to be wrong.
I went through the scanner and it went off. Naturally. This meant I had to be frisked. I wanted to joke and be like, “Ma’am, I don’t even know how to do fourth grade math, let alone make a bomb.” But somehow I don’t think the TSA lot find anything with the word bomb amusing.
I also had to have my hands wiped down to make sure I didn’t have explosive residue on them.
I don’t even remember how to solve fractions.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin making something explosive.
Being at the airport without kids is relaxing as you wait for your plane. I was able to read. In peace. While munching some food. I didn’t even have to share. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO SHARE!
Then we boarded the plane and I distracted myself by finally reading The Hunger Games. I enjoyed the book and it kept me busy. I would have read it all non-stop but then Tom would get bored and would try to take the book from me.
“Break time,” he’d say.
What’s this BREAK TIME?
Then I felt bad because here we were going on a trip. Shouldn’t I be kissing him? Doing something vaguely inappropriate discreetly?
So I kissed him.
Leaned my head on his shoulder.
And all I could think was WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO KATNISS?
“You want your book back, don’t you?” Tom asked. He knows me well.
“Yes. But, you know, we can snuggle,” I offered.
Tom handed me the book back. “You can read. I know you’re aching to finish.”
And finish I did. How to waste eight hours? Read The Hunger Games.
When we landed it was still light out. Tom and I pressed our noses against the plane window and marveled at the color of the ocean.
“It’s so blue,” I whispered.
Outside it was even better. The air was warm and mixed with something sweet. Birds chirped in the distance. An actual Hawaiian man with a lei around his neck walked past us.
We were definitely in paradise.
We climbed into an airport shuttle that would take us to our hotel, the Hale Koa. I was surprised to see so many of the following things:
We pulled up at our hotel and my heart thumped with excitement. This was it. Our vacation was beginning.
To be continued…
(I’ll leave with a teaser picture..)
(I probably should have brought more tropical looking clothes.)