My husband has been home from deployment for almost two weeks now. It's been fantastic having him home. However, there have been some adjustments and I'd like to share a few of them.
I'll buy a product if I have a coupon for it if I know it tastes okay. I happened to purchase some syrup that I had a coupon for. The other day Tom made pancakes and was going through the cabinet. He kept going, "Where is Mrs. Butterworth?" and I said, "Oh, I didn't have a coupon for that, but I did for this one. Really, they taste the same." I handed him the bottle and Tom looked at it as though it were made of bird shit. "Where's Mrs. Butterworth?" he repeated. He gets set in his ways. This is the man who only likes Duncan Hines brownies.
SHARING THE BED.
I'm one of those people who LOVE having the bed to myself. I'll stretch out. I'll bundle myself into the covers. It's a beautiful thing. When Tom came back I had to stay on my side. At one point I woke up thinking we had an angry bear in the room but no, it was just Tom snoring.
GIVING UP THE REMOTE.
I used to watch whatever I wanted. At night I'd settle in for a night of horrible reality TV and hospital dramas. Tom doesn't like any of that. I tried explaining Scandal to him "Tom, this man named Huck is fantastic. 752 he once said over and over. He had a FAMILY! SEVEN FIFTY TWOOOO!" Tom was like, "That sounds awful. Pass." So then we watched Worlds Dumbest and witnessed someone setting their fart on fire. My DVR is full of all my shows that offends Tom's eyes.
HAVING TO CONVERSE....IN THE MORNINGS
I am NOT a morning person. Tom is used to being up so he's all ready to comment on the world's issues as he watches Fox News. He's rambling on at 650 AM and I'm sitting there on the couch, comatose. He'll go, "Are you okay? Are you angry?" and I'm like, "gdalkjafdk," because words do not form before 8 and he doesn't understand. I want to be a bright eyed wife who is ready to talk politics but I cannot early in the morning.
LOOKING PRESENTABLE AT ALL TIMES
I'm kidding. I only wore makeup the first three days he was home to remind him of what he left behind. After that I was like, "Okay, he gets to see my pale skin and dark rimmed eyes because dammit, it's who I am." I also farted the other day and Tom was like, "I was wondering when I'd hear that again." I had been holding those back too. He also let one loose and managed to clear the room. Man farts are the worst. Especially after deviled eggs have been consumed.
HAVING OUR TIME.
This is really not an adjustment. I just missed this. At 8 every night we spend time together until we go to bed at 11. Tom likes to play computer games and he knows at 8 that it's time to log off. We'll usually watch TV (generally things like Family Guy or Brooklyn Nine Nine) or movies. We'll share sparkling grape juice because neither of us has found a wine we enjoy. He'll tell me that no, the shadow in the room is NOT a ghost but really a pile of papers that I insist I need even though they have been sitting there for ages. I'm so happy that he's home. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he won't have to go away for a long time. I have an overactive imagination...I need my voice of reason with me.