Friday, May 16, 2014

Stuff I Probably Don't Need At Target




It never fails.

I go into Target thinking that I'll spend less than $20--after all, I only need a couple of things.

Then at the checkout I'm told, "That'll be $102.52."

I'm all,


"How did that happen?! I came in to buy a HOSE and WRAPPING PAPER!"

As the cashier shrugs in a manner that tells me she does not care, I gaze at all my bagged items. Did I black out? Where did all these things come from?

I had to think back to everything I looked at as I paid with my Target Red Debit Card (I mean, duh, of course I'd have one of those. You save an extra 5%!)

I believe I know what happened.

It all starts with the Dollar Spot.



You know, that area that has a bunch of stuff for a buck? (Or $3. But I gravitate towards the dollar items.) Before I know what has happened, I have 5 things in my cart.

Then I think, books! I'll go look at the books.


I should never go look at books, because then I'll find 3 that I feel like I must read.

I will probably wander into the toy section next, just to see if they've finally got some Frozen toys in. There's only one Frozen toy present.


This is when I probably look like a crazy person, because I have the toy in my hands and I'm like, "But Natalie already has an Anna and Elsa." Then I'll go, "But not in these outfits. Why can't you just buy the outfits? Should I spend $24.99 for the outfits?" On this day, I put the toy back, because Natalie has so many Barbies. But sometimes I'll buy a toy and say I'm going to set it aside for Christmas. It usually doesn't happen that way.

Since I looked at things Natalie enjoys, I decide to look at stuff Tommy likes next.


He likes Minecraft. So does Natalie. They'd love those Minecraft animals. Oh, and the sword! But the sword is $24.99? What? It's just a little bit of foam, am I right? Is here gold in the foam? I probably spent like 10 minutes trying to figure out why a foam sword is so much money. (I not only lose track of money in Target, but also time..)

I'll check out housewares next, thinking that it's time that our house begins to look more grown up. I mean, most of our stuff doesn't even match! I marvel at the decorating blogs and wonder why I don't have the same decorating gene. Wasn't I supposed to get one since I have a vagina?


I'm not going to lie, I buy something like this, and then it sits around for ages because I can't get Tom to put anything up. I'd do it, but my things come out crooked. Even if I use the laser straightener thingy. I mess it all up. We have a pile of house stuff in the garage.

Weirdly, I'll suddenly get a craving for cake and end up in the bakeware area.


Even though I don't even like to bake. But I think, "Maybe I like to bake now. Look at all these things! And from the Cake Boss!"

It'll occur to me that I'll never create fancy cakes or like baking, but I think, "Hey, I can still have my house smell like a cake!"


And I end up in the scent aisle. I don't know why these things excite me. They confuse my husband. He'll come home from work and be all, "Mmm, are you making cookies?" and I'll say, "No, I just pooped and used a spray that smells of sugar cookies. Sorry."

After loading up with new scents, I'll check out Natalie's section. There is always something I want for her. Girl clothes are adorable. I mean, look at the crown of flowers! Perfect for the summer, no? Although, what if a bee lands on her head when she's wearing them? She'll freak. I'll freak. She'll be running for me to help, I'll be running away from her because bees are horrible, horrible things, and they killed Thomas J.


I'll feel like I've burned a lot of calories while shopping, so I'll end up in front of the ice cream.


I'll probably get two tubs.

So really, it's no wonder why my bill is so high when I go to Target. I need to stop looking everywhere. If I need to go to the store, I should focus on only going to the place where the items I NEED live. I can do this, right?

Right?!

No. I cannot.

Target, you'll win every time, much to the confusion of my husband. 

48 comments:

  1. Emmy loves minecraft too. I am all over the place at target why must they have everything I didn't know I needed. The stuff I hang is always crooked, but since my walls tilt in I blame it all on that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahahah that is SO true. except that's me at costco. it's all "ok, we need toilet paper and cream". then it's like "ok, that'll be $eleventy billion dollars and your first born". WTF.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    ReplyDelete
  3. I call Target the $100 store. No matter what I am going in for, I never leave for less than $100. It's a problem.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LMAO Im the same way in Target. We're throwing Bailey a baseball themed party and everyday I go to target on my lunch break and spend 34+ I think I have enough slip and slides for 10 families...but there in a baseball diamond and thats freakin cool!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This happens to me too! Even though I have a list, I tend to veer off it all the time! I want a flower crown too!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are not alone :). I love the dollar section too. LOL on the comment about not having a decorating gene and shouldn't it have gone with your vagina. Ha. And yes, girl clothes are sooooo cute at Target!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have to agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY on the decorating gene. I just don't have it! I marvel at those blogs and at my friends who all seem to just "get it."

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do the same thing! I also make a point to stop at each of the end caps with the clearance items because I MIGHT JUST NEED a single placemat because its only $1 but of course then I need some napkin rings too... and so on...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love being able to wander the stores and dream of all the neat things I can buy. I did the same thing at the grocery store yesterday. Should have been only $45 and was $91. YIKES!

    happy weekend

    ReplyDelete
  10. I feel like we are soul sisters. I frequently go in to Target for one $10 item...but I've NEVER, EVER gotten out of there for less than $50. They grab you with the Dollar Aisle...then the scarves...and I don't bake either but maybe I would if I had those cute little muffin tins. I'm not much on organization either, but their little plastic bins are just so adorable, I should probably pick up a few of them to be on the safe side. BUT...I have had it on my to-do list to get a Target Red card for over a year. I'm doing it this weekend for SURE!!! --Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG! It's like you are following me all over the store!! I'm never able to leave for less than $100! It's like a weird disease.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My husband hates when I say things like, "oh, we need coffee creamer. I'll just swing by Target to pick it up." He knows I won't just come back with coffee creamer. I just can't help it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Same here. I need to start shopping at Dollar General!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks for adding me at Instagram I really like your writing style here on your blog why? Because you sound so realistic when you describe your daily life with your kids and military husband. This is why I enjoy reading you for several years every day now.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I end up looking at all sorts of things in Target, but I only usually end up spending more when my boyfriend goes with me! He is worse in the toy department than the kids are :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Now... did you buy the hose and wrapping paper?

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is my favorite post EVER. They killed Thomas J!! I love it!
    And it's all SO true but I firmly believe it's a Target conspiracy. They are planting subliminal suggestions everywhere that lure you from one department to the next. I'm pretty sure there are whispers coming out of the speakers that you can't hear, only subconsciously register, saying things like "but you LOVE to bake...and clean....and decorate..."

    ReplyDelete
  18. And that is exactly why I had to cut down my Target trips to no more than 1 a week - I used to go 3x a week - not good!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just got back from Target. I went to buy a bag of marshmallows. I spent almost $35. But, I used my cartwheel app, so I "saved" some money (on the marshmallows).

    ReplyDelete
  20. I really can't get enough of it!
    I think there's something to the way they display things - especially the book section! It's better than a bookstore!
    And we do damage in all of the same sections. I love the Ben & Jerry's because they have limited edition, just for Target flavors.

    ReplyDelete
  21. That is why I stay away from Costco. I do the same thing there! Bad news! :( I miss going though!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Target is a black hole where you lose track of all time and the money you are spending. Although I was so proud of myself, last time I went into Target I was bound and determined to get out with just what I needed and I did just that. So I guess every one in a million times it is possible to go in there for 2 things and come out with only the 2 things you needed!

    ReplyDelete
  23. You just described my every trip into Walmart. (because we don't have a Target - but if we did, I am guessing: Same Story)
    Your store journey makes absolute sense to me. seriously, I cannot find any fault in your shopping pattern and am equally baffled by the numbered outcome.

    ReplyDelete
  24. 1. I'll never think of sugar cookies the same again.

    2. I have a pattern I go through in Target that leads me to all the clearance racks.

    3. 95% of my wardrobe came from Target clearance racks. And it shows.

    ReplyDelete
  25. $80. I cannot, for the life of me, get out of Target without spending less than $80.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Every. Time! HAHA! I'm pretty sure they pump something through the air vents that makes us just want to swipe that RedCard (that we had to buy because it saved us $30 that one time!) ;)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ugh, happens to me all the time when I'm at Target. It's even worse now that I have a kid because all the toys and books look so fun.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I moved to another continent to avoid shopping trips like that. I think those are genetic. The first time Lily was at a Target just a few weeks ago, she wanted me to buy about everything in the store :-)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Target gets me EVERY TIME. Yes, the trick is to stop looking. But how? HOW?! I cant stop- everything is too amazing. And my husband is awful, he says "you don't know you need it until you see it." Uhm, he should be studied because he is a marketer's dream

    ReplyDelete
  30. True story.And now with the Cartwheel app...I mean I'm saving money right?

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am crying laughing at no I just pooped and sprayed something that smells like sugar cookies. Hilarious!

    Ok, so last night I went to Target, started in the Dollar Spot, took a similar path around the store, and spent $102.82. do do do do

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is so, so, SO true!!! It happens to me too. Target has the prettiest things to SUCK you in!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh Target! Gotta love the RedCard. Especially the free shipping to hawaii! My trips are pretty much the same. I always make a detour to the clothes section for myself.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Target always wins...ALWAYS!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Are the Red Debit Cards hacker proof?
    It was interesting to listen in on your thinking as you went gathering things around the store. You probably could go in and get one or two things if you were male. I've done it many times. Just a suggestion - give yourself a Target shopping challenge of just buying one item, then write a post about your success.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm laughing because I was just at Target earlier today buying things I didn't need! You go in for one thing and come out with ten!

    ReplyDelete
  37. "Stuff I Probably Don't Need At Target" How DARE you. Everything at Target is a necessity!
    I'm like you... I literally go through every aisle and convince myself I might need something from it. Party hats? Sure! WHY NOT?!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Holy crap the flower crown. We need! Nah.. I can crochet one. I don't go to target or if I do, I pay in cash. I only being so much in then I can't spend it all! Haha! Also, according to my pinterest I'm a snazzy dresser in a fabulous house. Not so.. not. So. I wish having a vag automatically meant you have style! I don't! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  39. You should have bought the dolls. Those are ridiculously hard to find & you could sell them for a gold mine to help your Gymboree addiction! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Oh my gosh--- I miss Target so much! During my last visit to the US (I was there for a few weeks), I think I went to Target 7 or 8 times!

    ~Alexis Grace of North On Harper

    ReplyDelete
  41. Yes you can!! I was just there yesterday. So grateful for all the things they make available for so little. :) New nail polish, can't wait to do my spring toes!

    ReplyDelete
  42. dollar spot, clothes, and beauty get me everytime!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Ha, I feel like if I had the extra money to spend, I'd be the same way. Mostly because I go to so many different places when I'm at Target, from the baking things, to the video games, to the books, and of course all over the grocery aisles looking for yummy things. If I had the money to do it, I know I would rack up 100 dollars easy in that store.

    Also, if you want Minecraft things like that sword, I believe they're a little cheaper at Walmart (or online at Thinkgeek, but shipping might raise the price too much?). The sword is about 5 dollars cheaper anyway. (I would know, considering, just like your kids, I love Minecraft!)

    Michelle
    The Girly Gamer

    ReplyDelete
  44. Target is like a hypnotic black hole. You go in with a plan, but then Target takes you on a whole different path. That path includes a full cart, your cartwheel app, your red card, your target bags and a false sense of MONUMENTAL savings.

    ReplyDelete
  45. The only way that I can not spend more than I should in Target is by not going at all, ha ha!

    ReplyDelete
  46. My husband calls Target the hundred dollar store because I can't get out of there without dropping at least $100

    ReplyDelete
  47. You and I would cause so much trouble if we went shopping at Target together. The dollar bins get me every time. Then the clearance items at the end of the aisles. And all that random other stuff I think I need but I don't actually need. LOL!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...