Friday, March 6, 2015

7 Facebook Rules For My Teenager

Tommy turned 13 on Monday.

Of course it was exciting.

But his main goal was to get a Facebook account. He had to wait until he was 13 as per Facebook rules. He'd go on rants on how kids under 13 were on Facebook. "But they're LYING!" he'd say over and over. "They lied about their birthday!" Since he has autism, he is really big on rules.

Finally, he was 13.


And yes, he got a Facebook account. With rules.





1. Do not accept friend requests from strangers. The profile picture might be of a kid, but it could really be a fat old man.


2. NEVER agree to meet someone. You'll get kidnapped.


3. Use proper grammar at all times. It's YOU'RE welcome. Never YOUR welcome or UR welcome. UR is not a word. U is not a word either. It's always Y-O-U.


4. If proper grammar isn't used, your Mommy will correct you. It's important that you look like you passed elementary school. This will be good training for when you start a job.


5. Do not post multiple photos of yourself per day. Some people do this, and it frightens me. No one cares to see someone else 5+ times in the same position in the car. Twice is the limit and even then I'm like, "Oh look, there's her pores again."


6. Do not use Facebook as a way to complain about your parents. Don't say, "I've just been grounded! My Mom is acting like Kanye West! I hate her." First of all, calling someone Kanye West is a huge insult. Don't do it. Second of all, if you get grounded, it's for good reasons. Hate is a mean word, and you'll make me cry. Don't make Mommy cry.


7. I know it's exciting to have a Facebook account, but no one needs to know every detail of your day. Don't be like SOME people who are like, "Just woke up!" followed by, "Going on a walk!" followed by, "Taking a dump!" followed by, "Making quinoa for lunch!" Quinoa is nasty, son.




I hope my teenager enjoys his Facebook account. But if he abuses the privilege in any way, it's gone. I don't think I'll have an issue: as I mentioned, he's big on following the rules and is appalled as I am when he sees someone write 'your welcome.'

When my daughter is old enough for a Facebook account, I'll be worried. She's...well, she tries to get away with things more often. But I still have a few years left until she's old enough for one.


Do you have rules for your teenager if they go on Facebook?

28 comments:

  1. i have no idea what i'll do when that time comes. kayla has been starting to show interest for the computer and she uses my old one as "hers". i do stress that trust is a big thing for me and once that is gone, so are all of her freedoms. she doesn't know what social media is yet so right now, her big thing is watching shows on youtube.

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  2. Hahaha, these rules are great. I love them. All of my 8th graders had Facebook accounts last year, and they could all do whatever they wanted -their parents didn't even know they had them! So I think it's especially great that you set up some ground rules for him. :)

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  3. Haha yes to all of these rules!!! :)

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  4. My parents wouldn't let me have a Facebook until I was 16. And then, my Dad monitored it with his own Facebook. My Dad was a preacher. My life was strict.

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  5. Sheesh, I'm still stuck on the headline. Can't believe he is 13! I think you've done a great job with these rules!

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  6. When does he get an instagram, snapchat and vine? Oh and a youtube? He will need all these things. Hahahaha

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  7. I love these rules. #6 is my favorite.

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  8. Best Facebook rules ever! Hahaha, the Kanye West thing made me choke on my coffee!

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  9. lol! I will be letting Jaina have a facebook account at her 13th birthday in May. However, I let her go ahead and sign up for Instagram. I told her that her selfies were limited to ONE a day :P (And whoops... I forgot you hate that word!)

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  10. Best rule ever: be careful who you call Kanye - you can't take that shit back. Happy Birthday to Tommy!

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  11. These are great rules for anyone, not just 13 year old boys!!

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  13. Haha! Kayne is a swear word!! Quinoa is nasty! Good call on the rules!

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  14. I took daughters away and she ended up getting one under a different name. aggravating

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  15. HAHAHA Kanye West hahahahahahahahaha. I needed that laugh this morning. My daughter is 9 and already talking about cell phones and shit. Wtf? I didn't get a cell phone until I was like 20. Do you remember growing up without Facebook? I do. It was glorious. I think I'm officially the old man in the lawn chair.

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  16. I just had a discussion with my daughter on proper grammar/spelling this morning. She doesn't have Facebook, the talk was regarding her texting but I will be borrowing your #3 and #4, thanks!!

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  17. This was funny yet so true.

    Love the grammar one. Your, you're, UR - LOL.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

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  18. Rules are so needed. I have a lot of teenage siblings and cousins and in-laws and my rule is to not friend any of them--it's too frightening to see perfectly nice kids making fools of themselves online. My husband has really been trying to discourage a a selfie and emo-posts habit in his teenage brother...

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  19. Fabulous rules! Welcome to the world of teenagers :)

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  20. Awesome awesome awesome advice. I never thought that I would have an account, and yet because of the oldest teen in the house had to get one to monitor her!!! I had that thing more than she did that year!!! Funny after about a year and a half neither of us are interested in it, as we once were. Now I have another coming up to the age of 13~~~ Yikes, here we go again! Love your rules :) Good luck!!!!

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  21. ha! These rules shouldn't just be for Tommy - they should be universal.

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  22. HAHAH I think EVERYONE needs to follow these rules on FB.

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  23. Excellent rules! My daughter begged for FB, and now she never goes on it. Evidently it is no longer cool among the high school kids; it's just for old people like me, she says.

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  24. These are really great rules. It must be so scary having a kid of "internet" age.

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  25. These rules are perfect. I did something similar with my boys, and so far they haven't been kidnapped or made me cry, so I guess they listened!

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  26. These are all rules my kids had too. They also had to give me the password and I would randomly check if. They also had to keep me as a friend and not hide posts from me. If they do they immediately have fecebook taken away

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  27. Good rules! None of my kids are on it yet (since the oldest is only 11) but some of their friends have had them for years. I'm confused by this.

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Thanks for the comment!

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