Friday, March 6, 2015

7 Facebook Rules For My Teenager

When my son Tommy turned 13, he was thrilled. He was finally a teenager. Yes!

But his main goal was to get a Facebook account. He had to wait until he was 13 as per Facebook rules. He'd go on rants on how kids under 13 were on Facebook. "But they're LYING!" he'd say over and over. "They lied about their birthday!" Since he has autism, he is really big on rules.

He does have a Facebook account. But he has rules. And if he breaks those rules, he'll no longer be on Facebook.





1. Do not accept friend requests from strangers. The profile picture might be of a kid, but it could really be a fat old man.


2. NEVER agree to meet someone. You'll get kidnapped.


3. Use proper grammar at all times. It's YOU'RE welcome. Never YOUR welcome or UR welcome. UR is not a word. U is not a word either. It's always Y-O-U.


4. If proper grammar isn't used, your Mommy will correct you. It's important that you look like you passed elementary school. This will be good training for when you start a job.


5. Do not post multiple photos of yourself per day. Some people do this, and it frightens me. No one cares to see someone else 5+ times in the same position in the car. Twice is the limit and even then I'm like, "Oh look, there's her pores again."


6. Do not use Facebook as a way to complain about your parents. Don't say, "I've just been grounded! My Mom is acting like Kanye West! I hate her." First of all, calling someone Kanye West is a huge insult. Don't do it. Second of all, if you get grounded, it's for good reasons. Hate is a mean word, and you'll make me cry. Don't make Mommy cry.


7. I know it's exciting to have a Facebook account, but no one needs to know every detail of your day. Don't be like SOME people who are like, "Just woke up!" followed by, "Going on a walk!" followed by, "Taking a dump!" followed by, "Making quinoa for lunch!" Quinoa is nasty, son.





I hope my teenager enjoys his Facebook account. But if he abuses the privilege in any way, it's gone. I don't think I'll have an issue: as I mentioned, he's big on following the rules and is appalled as I am when he sees someone write 'your welcome.'

When my daughter is old enough for a Facebook account, I'll be worried. She's...well, she tries to get away with things more often. But I still have a few years left until she's old enough for one.


Do you have rules for your teenager if they go on Facebook?

129 comments:

  1. i have no idea what i'll do when that time comes. kayla has been starting to show interest for the computer and she uses my old one as "hers". i do stress that trust is a big thing for me and once that is gone, so are all of her freedoms. she doesn't know what social media is yet so right now, her big thing is watching shows on youtube.

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  2. Hahaha, these rules are great. I love them. All of my 8th graders had Facebook accounts last year, and they could all do whatever they wanted -their parents didn't even know they had them! So I think it's especially great that you set up some ground rules for him. :)

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  3. Haha yes to all of these rules!!! :)

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  4. My parents wouldn't let me have a Facebook until I was 16. And then, my Dad monitored it with his own Facebook. My Dad was a preacher. My life was strict.

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  5. Sheesh, I'm still stuck on the headline. Can't believe he is 13! I think you've done a great job with these rules!

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  6. When does he get an instagram, snapchat and vine? Oh and a youtube? He will need all these things. Hahahaha

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  7. I love these rules. #6 is my favorite.

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  8. Best Facebook rules ever! Hahaha, the Kanye West thing made me choke on my coffee!

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  9. lol! I will be letting Jaina have a facebook account at her 13th birthday in May. However, I let her go ahead and sign up for Instagram. I told her that her selfies were limited to ONE a day :P (And whoops... I forgot you hate that word!)

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  10. Best rule ever: be careful who you call Kanye - you can't take that shit back. Happy Birthday to Tommy!

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  11. These are great rules for anyone, not just 13 year old boys!!

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  13. Haha! Kayne is a swear word!! Quinoa is nasty! Good call on the rules!

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  14. I took daughters away and she ended up getting one under a different name. aggravating

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  15. HAHAHA Kanye West hahahahahahahahaha. I needed that laugh this morning. My daughter is 9 and already talking about cell phones and shit. Wtf? I didn't get a cell phone until I was like 20. Do you remember growing up without Facebook? I do. It was glorious. I think I'm officially the old man in the lawn chair.

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  16. I just had a discussion with my daughter on proper grammar/spelling this morning. She doesn't have Facebook, the talk was regarding her texting but I will be borrowing your #3 and #4, thanks!!

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  17. This was funny yet so true.

    Love the grammar one. Your, you're, UR - LOL.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

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  18. Rules are so needed. I have a lot of teenage siblings and cousins and in-laws and my rule is to not friend any of them--it's too frightening to see perfectly nice kids making fools of themselves online. My husband has really been trying to discourage a a selfie and emo-posts habit in his teenage brother...

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  19. Fabulous rules! Welcome to the world of teenagers :)

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  20. Awesome awesome awesome advice. I never thought that I would have an account, and yet because of the oldest teen in the house had to get one to monitor her!!! I had that thing more than she did that year!!! Funny after about a year and a half neither of us are interested in it, as we once were. Now I have another coming up to the age of 13~~~ Yikes, here we go again! Love your rules :) Good luck!!!!

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  21. ha! These rules shouldn't just be for Tommy - they should be universal.

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  22. HAHAH I think EVERYONE needs to follow these rules on FB.

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  23. Excellent rules! My daughter begged for FB, and now she never goes on it. Evidently it is no longer cool among the high school kids; it's just for old people like me, she says.

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  24. These are really great rules. It must be so scary having a kid of "internet" age.

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  25. These rules are perfect. I did something similar with my boys, and so far they haven't been kidnapped or made me cry, so I guess they listened!

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  26. These are all rules my kids had too. They also had to give me the password and I would randomly check if. They also had to keep me as a friend and not hide posts from me. If they do they immediately have fecebook taken away

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  27. Good rules! None of my kids are on it yet (since the oldest is only 11) but some of their friends have had them for years. I'm confused by this.

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  28. The least of my worries was Facebook. If they have a phone, or a computer, it can be so much worse. I love these rules though, and they matched mine when my teenager started on Facebook, but yours are worded so much more eloquently. :)

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  29. What a refreshing take on this; I have seen so many parents get upset with their kids on Facebook and they are the ones that gave the account before 13 years of age... This had me rolling though; great jokes riddled throughout. All seriousness though, thank you, I have been wondering much about getting my twins accounts when they get of age. I like how you brought it down to their level. They have e-mail accounts (strongly monitored by me) so they could be "pen pals" and write to their dad on his deployments.

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  30. It's difficult to manage teenagers on Facebook. But it is good that you have your own rules so that at least their usage is regulated.

    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

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  31. I couldn't help but smile while reading of these rules because I never encountered these in my life. Well, I do have a facebook but I signed-up and learned my way responsibly. Glad your young man is doing well!

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  32. (He doesn't have Facebook yet.) I do have a rule with social media for him. NEVER his exact location. If he's on snapchat and we're out and about, I want him to put his phone on airplane-mode, create his stories and add them once we leave the location.

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  33. Great rules! Had the same growing up in the days of dail up (NetZero) and AIM lol.

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  34. I love rule #5. This should be in FB terms of service.

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  35. This hit home for me because my oldest will turn 13 this month and is desperate to get a start on social media. I don't let her use most social platforms, and it makes her crazy - but it's because based on her history, I'm pretty sure she'll be like most other teen girls - in a huge hurry to break the rules I set out for her. But in honor of her birthday, I'm bending my "no kids on social media" rule - I've agreed to allow her to have a fashion "blog" on Instagram, which we will use together to share her mom-approved fashion-oriented photos. Makes me glad I've said no for so long - saying yes to this made her so happy that she hasn't actually bothered to have me set it up yet!

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  36. Wow - number 2 is SO important! It reminds me of those videos that parents had set up. They would "allow" their kids to be "kidnapped" from meeting up with people they met on Facebook. I think kids (once the parent feels comfortable) should all watch those videos. They are scary yet teach their kids a lesson not to meet up with strangers!

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  37. I have two teenagers, and one has a FB account (mostly because her clubs at school communicate through FB groups) and the other isn't interested. I think having rules is REALLY important! And, it's so good to have the rules understood up front, versus trying to make them up as you go. Well done! ps - I love quinoa ;)

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  38. Haha, you made me laugh with this post! Quinoa is not nasty! I can't believe you. Substitute it for rice in your favorite recipe. I will take on flavor way better than rice will! Plus, it is a seed and had more nutrition! If you want any recipes come see me. I have some awesome ones for quinoa/rice!

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  39. I am glad you have rules and monitor his FB. It annoys me when kids at church want me to be there friend.

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  40. Great advice. Some adults could use this advice also.

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  41. This made me laugh! I loved this post! My teenager is 30, and taught me the rules of Facebook. However, it is so important to have rules and to be invested in what our kids are doing, no matter their age. Blessings to you!

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  42. Why the quinoa hate. I love quinoa. But good job mom, I also told my kids no mom bashing and they had to accept my friendship request when they were younger. I realized my son wasn't very active which was weird, and I found out he had a second account. But once their grandma got fb, they all but quit. lol

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  43. LOVE your rules!! Glad to see I'm not the only mom out there like this!

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  44. Love this. Cool mom award definitely goes to you! Is it a requirement that he be your friend on Facebook?! :) I have my mom as my friend, but she's on my "Limited profile." Which means she doesn't get access to all my pictures. Not because I don't love her and want to tell her my inner-most secrets. But because she'll ask me why I drink wine ALL THE TIME.

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  45. That would be a general rule for everyone. As for the strangers, meet-ups, selfies, detailed things-to-do. I know Tommy will be a good rule abiding teen.

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  46. Good post! When I have kids they're going to follow guidelines similar to this- You make really good points! Thank you for sharing :)

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  47. I made sure not to let kids enjoy FB until they were 15. But I agree with all these rules and can see one can make use of these.

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  48. Nice post and fun to read too. When my son reaches that age, one rule I would add is that I will be one of his friends on there and will be checking all he does. Everything said, I think it all comes down to having a strong relationship and stellar communication with your child. It's almost like being the 'cop' will only make him sneak around even more.

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  49. I don't have children but I think you have good rules for your son. These should be followed by all parents and children in my opinion.

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  50. I remember when my friend's teenage son wanted a FB profile and the debate and negotiations that went into it. What I will do in the future is to share your post with anyone in this situation.

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  51. Happy Birthday! How exciting for him. He will spend all day exploring it now and maybe tomorrow he will be tired of it.

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  52. What a great post. I am a 5th grade teacher and although kids should not have one at this age, from time to time I do get asked about it. I will share your post with them

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  53. This is still a way off for my kids but I love your rules. I think I would definitely have one in place where they can not friend people they do not know.

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  54. Do not call anyone Kanye West. I just laughed so hard that I spit my coffee out. This is absolutely amazing. I think everyone should have these rules! Share with everyone!

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  55. I cringe with the kids on Facebook. Makes me nervous. I have to remember with all my friends kids on my page I have to watch what a I say sometimes.

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  56. My kids are all grown up now and they did not have Facebook accounts until they were about 15 or 16. One of my rules was that they had to accept my friend request. Harsh. Haha. I think your rules are very reasonable. Better for the kids to know why there are rules than to be sorry later.

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  57. I'm not a parent just yet, but one of the kids I babysit is 13 and recently got social media. His favorite is snapchat which I think is most dangerous since images and messages "disappear" and what not. He definitely keeps me worried.

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  58. These seem very reasonable rules. And best of all they are written in a way that shows that mommy is still 'cool' although an adult ;) Hopefully your kid will see this the same way :) X

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  59. I'm not a fan of Facebook. Yes, I have it but only because I need it for work. I feel that it doesn't have that much of a value, lol. So kudos to you for setting these rules - if I had a kid, I'd do the same. Plus I'll ask them to make sure to strike a balance between Facebook and face-to-face interaction with friends and family.

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  60. We have very similar FB rules in our house. Mostly, we are very much against accusing anyone of being Kanye-like.

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  61. I didn't realize that there was an age minimum for Facebook but it definitely makes sense. My youngest is 10 so I haven't even thought about it yet. I love how you have rules and how they are set up to basically to protect your child. Kudos to you!

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  62. this are some cool tips, my daughter is not yet on the facebook page of life yet, but youtube and playing roblox is big thing for her, she talks to many players everyday and love to know that she knows her limits. Not looking forward to her joining facebook hhaha

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  63. My kids have always had internet and screen time rules. Facebook use included.

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  64. How brilliant is this, I love how you guys set him rules including grammar.

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  65. I think it is a fabulous idea to have facebook rules for kids. It was so much easier being a kid back in the day! I personally think kids shouldn't be on social media, but I realise how difficult it would be to keep them off!

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  66. This is a fantastic list! I love your #3 LOL I feel like this needs to be told to some adults on Facebook sometime LOL

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  67. I think these these rules should be for everyone not just your son. I h8 it wen peeps chat usin bad gramma ;) ! One of my biggest bugbears and there's no need for it!

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  68. I used to get the password when my daughter was younger. If our rules for it were violated (causing mischief online or in the chats, 'date' talk, public displays of privacy (no pictures of our house, car, etc.) the account would be zapped. She's almost 18 now, so I don't monitor it anymore. I trust that she's doing fine, and it's her responsibility to maintain that...so far, so good. :)

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  69. These are great rules! I allowed my son to get a FB profile when he was 16 and my other 2 will wait until then as well.

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  70. These are awesome rules for teenager. My son still not ready for social media but YouTube. Though he's still have limit on it.

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  71. Love these Facebook rules which you've made for your son. I hope few adults also learn how to behave on the social media!

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  72. I have the same rules in place as have a 13,14 and 17 year old who all have their own Facebook accounts its monitored

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  73. All kids are different. One of our kids posts every now and then and could take it or leave it. Two others spend alot of time using it as an online diary with every emotion known to man and not always appropriate language. However, they are older (young adults now) and no longer live at home. Not much I can do about it. The youngest two who are still at home have Facebook accounts but except for checking in every couple months they never do anything with it which is perfectly fine by me.

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  74. We are planning to grow our family this year and I am already worried how to handle their online activities someday. These are awesome tips. Will share to my hubby so we can prepare and to pals who already are parent.

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  75. Social Media is a gift as well as something that can create a havoc if not handled properly and it is important that our kids are guided properly to make the best use of it. These 7 rules are pretty straight forward as most teenagers get it in to such loop holes so easily!

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  76. I like how you set the rules, it's important that they know their limits and that they also know the dangers of having your life exposed like that too. This is a great way to see if they're ready for the internet.

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  77. Great straight forward list of rules for your teen! My kids are still too young, who knows what will be around then! yikes. lol

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  78. Great rules and advice! It is so hard to let them have that freedom.

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  79. These are great rules and it is SO important that we have social media rules in place these days. My oldest is only 13, so there is no social media for him yet, but it's coming in a few years....

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  80. Grammar is huge for me lol. I hate to see people spell things wrong over and over. I do occasionally because I am just not paying attention so I will leave a letter off or whatever but I try to catch myself.

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  81. I want to hug you! I LOVE every single one of these rules. I hate it when parents let their kids lie and get FB accounts way younger than 13 and the your and you're - OMG - my kids call me the grammar police of FB. I threaten to block people who choose to use incorrect grammar. Well done!!

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  82. I think it's smart that you have rules in place for your son's facebook account. My kids were all grown when FB became a "thing" so I didn't have to deal with any of this. I had to lol at "Taking a dump!" If anyone I know posts something like that, I'd know right away their FB has been hacked.

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  83. These are some awesome rules! When my kiddo gets to that age I will definitely keep these in mind. My biggest worry is strangers on his Facebook page!

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  84. LOL these are great! My kids are older now, but they have had FB pages for years. They used to play a lot of FB games, but they just use it for friends now.

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  85. My kids are grown so this is one issue I don't have to worry about. That said, I think your rules are spot on and I would have used them!

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  86. These are excellent tips, and I especially loved the grammar rule. It really bothers me when people use ur and the wrong your/you're. I know it's terrible, but I automatically go into ignore mode when I see that.

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  87. I hadn't looked into it, but I guess I just assumed the age limit would be 16, 13 seems so young.

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  88. Great Facebook rules! It's good for kids to know the limit and not to be abused from sharing their information on Facebook. It can be great fun but also a danger. Thanks for sharing this!

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  89. It's really good to set facebook rules not only for kids but for us adults as well. We should really be more concerned on what we post as it can tell so much of who we are.

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  90. I don't have kids, but these seem like great tips. Things are so different now.

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  91. Love the rules you set for your son! Love that one of the rules is proper grammar! haha. It really is good practice since most of what we say is through facebook.

    Sarah
    www.hitcontinue.eu

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  92. These are some awesome sounding rules. I have to admit I wouldn't pass your spelling or grammar one, I try my best but I'm really not that good.

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  93. hahaha, great rules! I have a 7 year old willing to create a Facebook account, this will be something to discuss ))

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  94. These are really great rules! I hope I can enforce them if I ever have kids someday:) I totally agree with you on the Kanye West thing, I would be very offended. Thanks for sharing!

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  95. I was rolling at the multiple selfies per day rule. I have the same one! Kids these days! lol

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  96. It is a really big world out there on the internet and you are smart for keeping him safe. Kids don't always understand life long consequences of small actions so we as parent have to step in.

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  97. I love these rules. No one likes to be called Kayne West. lol I laughed out loud at that.

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  98. I love the no complaining about your parents rule! That's the most important one, lol. ;)

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  99. My kids are not on Facebook yet but these are all great rules. They need to know it's a privilege and they need to follow the rules or loose that privilege.

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  100. These are great tips. I can't believe teenagers and kids even younger than that are on Facebook now. My 8 year old stepson already plays on his iPad more than I do!

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  101. Thanks for the laugh. I'm glad I don't have to worry about this for a few more years.

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  102. I do not know where social media would be 12 years form now because my son just turned a year old :P These rules look decent though

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  103. Yes! This is so important, our internet was so strictly monitored as kids and while it was a pain then I'm thankful for it now. Might also be worthwhile explaining why not to give out phone numbers/address either

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  104. I adore that you've instilled rules for Facebook. At this point in our home, my teen daughter detests all social media. Score!

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  105. This post gave me a laugh especially number 5, hilarious. I love that you established some rules and your son is totally fine with it and follows.

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  106. There should really be rule when using facebook. People nowadays are so comfortable that they are just posting everyday and not think of their safety. I also don't it when people post more than one selfie in a day. lol!

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  107. My daughter is not big on social. She has Instagram but she seldom post anything. Quinoa is delicious actually.

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  108. Your very smart, just like Kanye West! :D You have no idea how hard it is for me to leave that "you're" mistake there, even though it's supposed to be a joke. I absolutely agree with all of your rules.

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  109. I did not know the age limit was 13 I thought it was like 16 but either way I like that you've put some rules in place for your son.

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  110. Great set of rules. My kids are very young right now but I do have certain rules for their screen time. It's good to start early and set the expectations right ! Thanks for sharing .

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  111. Okay these were SO funny to read haha! I love this! It's a scary world out there, especially with social media - it's so important for kids to know what they're doing - and make sure they learn at a young age!

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  112. I love keeping limits on social media. It is a very dangerous place at times!

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  113. These are perfect rules for teenagers. And not one I saw was unreasonable. My son has rules as well. Follows them for the most part. But I also have his password, So if I have any questions, I am able to access. Of course I do it with him there so as to not feel i'm invading too much.

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  114. My oldest wasn't allowed to have Facebook until his last year in Middle School or Freshman year. It was best and I felt he was mature enough mentally to handle what can happen even with my supervision. I think I will maintain the same rule with my younger crew!

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  115. Such great FB rules for teens. When you parent a teen in this digital age, you have to stay on your toes and be twice as aware as before. There are so many dangers lurking online.

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  116. Great rules I wish Facebook could make some of these rules mandatory for some adults!

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  117. Great rules as I wish some of your rules could be mandatory for some adults. Im cracking up at #5 and #7 man i hate when people abuse this rule!

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  118. Keeping this rule for my nephews and nice. This is surely helpful especially in the world of internet.

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  119. Some of these are just plain serious, like not meeting with anybody, but I like that you went beyond just "immediate danger" to include things like proper grammar! It drives me nuts when people on FB fail to include any proper grammar. Beyond that, it just makes them look a bit stupid to be honest!

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  120. These are very sound rules for a teenager getting into social media for the first time. I think the most important is to never agree to meet someone. Kids have to be made aware of the danger lurking around in social media.

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  121. This was a fun read with credible advice. I have been through that phase with my kids too, but they were about 15 years old when they started to take interest in social media. Personally, I get annoyed at people posting their selfies like every 2 minutes! It is like, who cares if you have a new hair clip? Goodness.

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  122. These are some absolute key points you have mentioned. I wish every teen could read your post and follow accordingly. I find all teens are going so overboard with this FB era and its so hard to control them...sigh!

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  123. These are cool rules. It's still a long way for my son to have a facebook account but I'll keep this in mind. Thanks Amber!

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  124. This is a cool rule. Which reminds me, i got my Facebook account back in college :D
    Not so much a big deal then. But now it is! Since its part of my online business. Rules is rules.

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  125. You just gave me an idea. Thank you.

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  126. Thanks so much for sharing your rules! My 11 year old has asked for a Facebook, but I haven't given yet. These are great to keep in mind for when that time does come.

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