Thursday, June 11, 2015

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: My Daughter In A Bikini

So.

My daughter held up this swimsuit and was like, "Can I have this?"



I said no.

Her father and I do not feel comfortable with her in a bikini. It's a personal preference of ours. I stated this on Facebook and I got some comments saying, "She should wear what she wants! A pedophile is going to look no matter what."

Maybe. But her father and I prefer her in one pieces. Or tankinis. She's had a few tankinis.

Someone sent me a private message stating that we should NEVER tell our daughter not to wear something because we aren't comfortable. Girls should be allowed to wear whatever they want. Boys should know not to look. She said something about rape culture and blah, blah, blah.

Look, that's HER opinion.

I politely told her that Tom and I do not want Natalie in a bikini. Yes, it makes us uncomfortable but also, we don't want her getting melanoma. There are some bikinis out there that seem a little much for kids. But that's MY opinion. Let YOUR kid wear what they want.

For us, we're glad Natalie will still sport her My Little Pony swimsuits. When I explained I did not want her in bikinis she simply shrugged, went "okay", and put it back. When she's older I imagine she might argue.



However, I never argued. I was never comfortable in bikinis even when I had the body for it. I felt like I was walking out in a bra and panties. No thank you. FOR ME. Again. FOR ME. I had many friends who DID wear bikinis and they rocked it.


So basically? Do what feels right for YOUR family. Don't make others feel guilty if they have another opinion.

I promise. My daughter is fine even though she's not in a bikini.


32 comments:

  1. My mom didn't allow me to wear bikinis either! Or short shorts...she still hates those.

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  2. Amen to a one piece. Seriously, I just feel like little girls should be all covered up, we don't allow our daughter in a bikini either, I agree with the longer tankinis. Our problem is my daughter is SO tall, she is 6 and wears 10/12 sizes that it is hard to find a long enough swimsuit to cover her torso, Without her having to hunch over lol.

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  3. Bizarre. I mean you nailed it. It's about personal preferences. You don't want your kid in a bikini? Great. She's eight and you still have that responsibility to buy or not buy it!
    I've been trying to talk to Scarlet about wearing shorts under her short dresses for school. I just know in kindergarten they all sit with their legs spread. I was afraid to talk to her about it because I didn't want to make her feel badly about that, or even think of stuff like that at age 5. So I started wearing shorts under my dresses and she did it because she likes being a mini me.
    Whew. I hope this works for at least a year! ha!
    Natalie is so cute in her awesome swimsuits!

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  4. I hate when other people tell you what to do with your kids. You have your rules and reasons for them. And I don't see why bikinis need to be made for children anyway.

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  5. Actually just so you know bikini or not one can still get melanoma although areas that are not covered by any bathing suit can still get melanoma

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    Replies
    1. I know. But there's more of a chance with a bikini. More skin. But Natalie is always slathered in sunscreen.

      Delete
  6. Geez. Always someone has to be a naysayer. Why is it any of their concern?

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  7. Geez. Always someone has to be a naysayer. Why is it any of their concern?

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  8. Geez. Always someone has to be a naysayer. Why is it any of their concern?

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  9. We don't do bikinis either. We will do two pieces, like a tankini or swim shirt, but I think full on bikinis are too mature for little girls.

    However, I don't pass judgment on people who do. We just choose not to.

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  10. That one piece is adorable!

    I don't really have much of an opinion on this since I only have boys(so different when it's a hypothetical than something I actually have to deal with). I do know that I was much more comfortable when my parents started letting me wear two pieces way back when... I have an almost non-existent torso(it's ridiculous) and so one pieces never did fit me- they were way too long (still are- though I tend to go with tankinis rather than bikinis).

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  11. Wow I am old enough to be your mom, raised 4 girls and bikinis were not a option for swimwear for them, my hubby would tell them you might as well go swimming in your underwear. To this day none of them have worn bikinis.
    Good for you and your hubby.

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  12. You are absolutely right that this is a family matter! I wore bikinis when I was a kid, but they were much less revealing than some of the kids bikinis I see today.,,

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  13. "A pedophile is going to look no matter what." What??? As if that is a reason to let her wear a bikini. I'm with you - you do what you feel is right for you and your daughter. Clearly, she doesn't care yet. And even when she does, you are her parent - what you says goes.

    I see girls wearing Lord knows what and wonder where their mothers are. Don't get me started...

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  14. Agree 100%!! I do let my daughter wear bikinis...but not triangle tops...I'll let her pick the tops that look more like a sports bra...however, we prefer tankinis because it's modest and because it's not a nightmare to go to the bathroom.

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  15. Let her rock her My Little Pony one piece and all the other fun character swimsuits they only make her size. There will be plenty of time for bikinis in her teen/adult years, if she so chooses (and it's what you and hubby agree to)!

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  16. While walking past the girls department at Wal-Mart earlier tonight, my husband and I both were horrified with the choices they had there. I told him I am so glad our almost-6-year-old is still in toddler sizes, and I will try and keep her in kid-appropriate clothing as long as possible. I'll edit his words for this, but he agreed and said there's no reason for her to look like *ahem* a cheap, lady of the night.

    Bikinis are a huge no for our kids, mostly for the protection against the sun. (We joke about keeping our kids' skin as translucent as possible, they are so pale.) Little girls in bikinis just look...wrong. And we've talked to her about this; she understands and is okay with that decision.

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  17. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. There is plenty of stuff she can wear swimming or otherwise. It's not like your saying she can't go swimming. The end :)

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  18. Totally agree. I see kids my daughter's age, three, in bikinis and I'm like... wow. No thanks. Even I wear a one piece or tankini now, usually, just as an example for my daughter. I can rock a bikini just fine, but I also want to show her that she isn't alone. Not that she is exactly noticing... I think. She wears a tankini or one piece. I prefer the tankinis nowadays because of the potty ease-of-use...

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  19. We are so with you! At 5, V keeps asking but no way!We're not comfortable with her wearing them either.. Sure a pedophile is going to look anyway, but I feel like bikinis are meant to be sexy looking, and I'm not putting my 5 year old in anything "sexy."

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  20. It's funny because being Brazilian, we always ran around in bikinis as a kid. Now that I'm older, I can see how it would be uncomfortable!

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  21. I love that someone was telling you what to do, while telling you not to tell your daughter what to do. Honestly, it's called parenting, and sometimes we need to make the decisions no matter what our kids want. Natalie looks adorable in the polka dots!

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  22. I'm so on the fence about this topic. I guess it's my own issues I need to get over. I do feel like bikinis can be somewhat sexual... showing off as much skin as possible while leaving not much to the imagination. And I didn't feel comfortable with Jaina in a bikini for a long time. But, my husband pointed out, that's not Jaina's intention when picking out a cute swimsuit. Those are my associations with them. I was raised to dress as modestly as possible. It created a lot of issues for me during swim parties and high school prom. I couldn't wait to be able to dress the way I wanted and felt comfortable in. So, I relaxed my stance on bikinis. But still say no to string ones with triangles. Baby steps.

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  23. I think it's insane that bikinis for little babies and girls are even a thing... I mean, sure, they're cute, but now that I'm having a little girl, I've stopped to actually think about these things. My mom just told me she bought our baby a swimsuit... and I didn't even ask what it looks like. I'll just have to wait to see it, haha.

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  24. She probably just liked the bikini because it was sparkly, judging from her reaction when you said no. I'm totally with ya on the "no bikini" because why? Why does my girl need her mid-section out for the world? Last year we got our daughter a tankini. I will say they are easier to get on/off a baby than a one piece. But this year, all one pieces. And I also love that I have to apply less sunscreen! It's a chore already as it is.

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  25. Hello you are her mom and yes you should tell her what to wear, that is your job. It is your job to tell her how to show off her body in a way that respects your values

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  26. I think I was in middle school before I was allowed to wear one.

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  27. Dude are you kidding me? A private message just to try and convince you to parent like her? You know what I think is just as bad as rape culture? Shame culture. Like, shame on you, mom, for trying to protect your daughter. Or, like, shame on you mom for revoking your daughter's right to be a woman by not letting her wear a bikini. Or, shame on you mom for contributing to the demise of feminism because you didn't buy a FREAKING BIKINI.

    I mean really? You wanna talk about rape culture? How about hip-hugger underwear for freaking toddlers? Or low-rise jeans for kids in 2nd grade? Or shorts that show a teens ovaries? Or "skinny" jeans? These people on your Facebook want to pick a fight, they should head on over to the stores that are making millions off our "feminist" decisions to wear "whatever we want"... yeah, cuz bikinis and skinny jeans are so comfortable and realistic to a working woman, right? Yeah we choose to wear "whatever we want"....within the boundaries of culture-sleaze getting passed off as some sort of sign of "independence" and "freedom."

    News flash, a bikini has NOTHING TO DO with my daughter's ability to be a girl/woman, nor does it have anything to do with your ability to be a mom. It's a gd bikini.

    End. Rant.

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  28. I'm totally with you! We don't want our daughters in bikinis either, at least not ones that are absolutely NOT age-appropriate. If the bikinis look as if they'd need boobs, they are not the kind of bikinis appropriate for little girls. Tankinis are great, one-piece swim suits are great, even bikinis that have a wider top (like a shorter tankini), but nothing like the one your daughter found. I'm totally with you! It's not about trying not to catch glances from boys, it's plain and simple what's age-appropriate and what isn't. If our daughters wanted to wear a bikini when they are 14, I'd be fine. I still wear bikinis, and I feel fine about it. I acknowledge that there are people with a different sense of "modesty" or what's appropriate to wear in public, and that's fine, Don't let those idiots get to you, you've definitely made the right call!!

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  29. I don't let my daughters have bikinis either. They are only 5 and 2, but I don't want them in one for as long as I can fight them on it. I like to buy the rash guard tops (surfer style) for my daughters, but they are hard to find in the girls section. I may have to start shopping in the boys section. My 5 year old niece was visiting, and she had a bikini. The top looked like it was going to slip up to her neck because there was nothing there to hold it in place.

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  30. I totally agree with no letting her wear a bikini just yet. Let her be a girl, no need to rush it.

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  31. Obviously I am way late to this post but I jumped over from another bathing suit post. I personally think there is something to be said for modesty in clothing in general, but especially in bathing suits for young girls. They need comfort to move and play without worrying about things being in the right place. You do what works for you and your family but if she isn't fighting it then clearly its not a big deal to her.

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Thanks for the comment!

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