Friday, August 14, 2015

6 Things I Have to Get Used To After A Deployment Ends

Tom deployed in January. He came back in late July. So I had many months of being without a spouse. Sometimes it's tough to re-wire the brain to understand Hey, your mate is back.

There are some things I have to get used to after a deployment ends. Here are some of them.

1. Being asked, "Where are you going?"

My face is usually like:

I've had to answer to no one for over half the year. WTH do you mean "where am I going?" To get groceries. Der. For the first week that he's back, I'll sometimes forget to mention that I'm about to leave and will actually startle when I'm pulling open the front door and Tom is going, "Wait. Where are you going?"

2. Cooking proper meals again.

The kids and I had a lot of breakfast for dinner. Or sandwiches. Cereal. Easy stuff, because I hate cooking. I feel suffocated in the kitchen. Some people love it. I do not. Tom is picky and likes a proper meal. So if I announce we're having sandwiches for dinner or "it's fend for yourself dinner--find whatever" he'll give me a look like:

3. I'm asked, "What did you buy now?"

I mean. Dude. I went to Target. What did you expect? But I understand it's an alarming thing if someone walks through the door with five bags on their arm.

4. Questioned with, "Why did you take out the trash?"

I got in the habit of doing it, so I automatically do it. Tom is all, "I'd have done it!" But I explain I'm used to doing it, so it's cool. Really.

5. Sharing the bed.

Guys? We need a King size bed. We just have a Queen, and sharing is rough. I like my own part of bed. He shifts around a lot, so I always wake up. Then I'm pissy in the morning. Having the bed to myself is one of my favorite things when he deploys. I do like having him in the room with me when I think the fan is a hovering ghost though. Then he brings me back to reality and mutters, "That's our fan, Amber. Not a ghost." When he's gone, I can send myself into quite a panic.

6. Sharing the TV remote again.

Tom will sometimes go, "Are you really watching this?" when I start a Real Housewives show and I'm all, "No. It's just on the DVR for decoration. Yes. I'm watching it now. Join me." He's all, "Pass. These women are terrifying."

I'm getting used to sharing my space again and frightening Tom with my various reality shows.

It's good to have him home.


  1. I totally relate to this on a small scale because my husband travels for work about once a month. My ex-husband worked in retail for the first eight years of our marriage and I worked M-F 7-3:30, so our hours were completely different. Now when my husband tells me he's going out of town, I'm all, "YAY! No dinner planning this week." It just exhausts me, trying to figure out what to cook and going to the grocery store to buy it all.

  2. So funny!
    I was single for like 30 plus years or so *cough*...old...before I got married. It was weird dealing with all you just described. I'm like what do you mean that mascara is expensive. I need it!! Haha. I definitely changed a lot tho.
    I know you're glad he's home.

  3. haha Im so glad you have him home again- this was hilarious :)

  4. I bet it is pretty tough to readjust! The only good thing about them being away is not having to cook big meals! I like trying out new things in the kitchen for sure... but only when *I* feel like it... not every day!

  5. So funny and true. It's HARD to adjust. I love y'alls picture at the end.

  6. We have a Cal-King and I love it!! I need my space

  7. This is so funny! Adam doesn't leave for long, but if he did, I think things would be similar in our house.

  8. Yes to all of these especially sharing the bed haha.

  9. Adjusting is hard!! I love the t-shirt picture at the end. :-)

  10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA freaking meeowt. Dude the bed thing. Definitely the bed thing. They move and shift and breath and it's like, can you just act like you're not there and stop moving? And dealing with them getting up in the morning again. I like to do my routine. Quiet and simple. When he comes home it's all about shaving and hawking lugies into the sink and the stomp of boots and for gosh's sake can you just shutthehellup so I can be lazy and go back to sleep.

  11. So true! The cooking dinner thing? Even when he's just gone for a weekend at the base (we switched to Reserves this year) it's like WOOHOOO I don't have to cook! ;) Seriously, the good outweighs the bad when they're around, but it's fun to recognize the differences.

    I am co-hosting the #HomeMattersParty Link Party this month and would love to have you stop by for a visit. The door is open for the current party through Monday.

  12. Totally laughing over this...! So true!! (Where are emojis when you need them??)

  13. We have a king-sized bed and sometimes it's not big enough! And Tom seems tall like Cassidy.
    This is funny, though.
    It's so true - if I were to just leave the house without telling Cassidy, he'd be so confused!

  14. I am not happy when my schedule gets interrupted so I can sympathize.

  15. Sounds like he forgot that a household needed running while he was away and now he's all like, what's going on. Geez, it must be hard for him coming back after what he does, but dude, how are you going to eat unless the shopping gets done, lol.

  16. Ugh reintegration. Sharing the bed is a bggy. We were just discussing my husband getting his own blanket for when he returns. I never have to worry about sharing garbage duty. My husband never does garbage today.


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