Friday, September 11, 2015

The Different Kinds Of Kid Sellers You'll Encounter During School Fundraisers

It came.

The dreaded paper about the school fundraiser.

I've written before why I don't like fundraisers. I'd rather donate directly to the school. I live on base so it means I get lots of kids knocking on the door even though it's not technically allowed. It's irritating.

Here are the different sellers I've encountered.

--The shy seller.

You know, the one that knocks timidly on the door and then stares at you with saucer eyes when you open it. They don't speak and wordlessly lift the box or paper of what they're selling. Sometimes they might whisper to the point where you have to really crane to hear: "I'm selling this." If you ask questions, they shrink back as if they've just been slapped.

--The persistant seller.

This one won't give up. Maybe it means they'll be CEO of some company. But right now it's annoying as Dora the Explorer. If I say no, I mean it. Don't keep talking to me. If I only want to buy one thing, don't keep urging me to buy more. Go home. Just. Go home.

--The lazy seller.

Mommy or Daddy drives them around to EACH HOUSE! I can understand if they wait at the end of the road, but stopping and going is ridiculous. Junior can walk. Trust me. Junior will meet you at the end of the street. If you're worried about an abduction, perhaps fundraising isn't for you. Go the school with a check. Hand it over. Your deed is done.

--The seller who gets their parents to sell their stuff at work.

Tom has had to deal with this a lot. He's polite and will buy one or two items. But sometimes the guy he works with tries to guilt him into buying more. This pisses Tom off. First of all, it's your CHILD'S job to sell the junk. Second of all, be grateful for the stuff that IS sold.

--The seller who keeps coming back.

Good gracious. I once bought 2 candy bars from a kid. And then he shows up 3 days later. "I figured you'd want more!" When I said no thank you, he seemed surprised. Look, I love chocolate. I love sweets. But the chocolate that is sold in schools is meh. I want a Twix. I want Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'll buy the school chocolate to be polite and support the school, but I have my damn limits.

--The forgetful seller.

"I'm am I selling again? Um?" *Kid stares at the paper* "Oh right! Cookie dough. Did you want....wait, what kind do we have?" "Are you asking me?" I'll wonder, wanting to get back to my book. "No! Um. I think we have chocolate chip, sugar, oatmeal...anyway, it's $15. I think."


  1. I hate fundraising. That's why I just don't do it. I know the school needs money but I think turning kids into street beggars is awful. I'd rather just write a check or pay for something kinda fun like a festival or something. I hare almost all the garbage they sale too.

  2. This is hilarious!! We haven't experienced this yet, but you know we will.

  3. Annoying kids and parents, annoying! Though I do love when parents sell Girl Scout cookies :).

  4. Ha ha! It is that time of year! This post was too funny!

  5. This is hilarious! We don't get any kids selling things door-to-door in my neighborhood. I live in apartments right next to base in a military town, so around the first and the 15th of every month we get a lot of grown-upsl trying to sell us stuff, but not kids. Now I kind a wish I could see what a kid does :-)

  6. Lmfao! My husband comes home with so much weird shit! I ask him why and he says "oh major/capt/Ssgt so and so's kid was selling it!"

  7. My Dad always took mine to work, but I did go door to door too. Fundraisers are crazy

  8. I have seen all of these as well. I was totally the "mom takes it to work" seller. My mom worked at a hotel with lots of employees and she would leave it in the breakroom, lol. I rarely bothered people at home.

  9. I have seen all of these as well. I was totally the "mom takes it to work" seller. My mom worked at a hotel with lots of employees and she would leave it in the breakroom, lol. I rarely bothered people at home.

  10. Oh ugh! I have that kid. For several years there, he had at least 5 or 6 major fundraisers a year between Scouts, band, and school. I did take a few to work (although technically it's not allowed), but I was determined that he needed to do his part. He's not the pushy kind of kid, but he did pretty well at it, but I felt bad. It seemed like people were starting to run and hide when they would see him coming. Now though, some people seek him out and actually ASK him to buy the stuff, which is a nice change. We have a Christmas wreath sale and a fundraiser BBQ for Scouts and those are things that people seem to want to buy. We just did a BBQ for 600 people that will fund our Scout Troop for the year, but it's a TON of work. You've never lived until you've sorted out $10,000 worth of ticket envelopes all filled out by a bunch of 12 and 13 year old boys! Yes, writing a check is definitely easier.

  11. Haha, this is hilarious and so true! I hate fundraisers.

  12. I don't mind purchasing from fundraisers, but it's usually a bunch of crap I don't want or need. I hate those school fundraiser chocolate bars. They're so sub-par.

  13. When the girls were younger, their fundraiser was magazines, you could even renew your current subscriptions through their fundraiser. It all sounded like a good idea, but everyone reads their stuff online now.
    I never ordered anything from them.


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