Monday, October 5, 2015

8 Reasons Why A Teenager Is Scarier Than A Threenager

I first heard the word "threenager" while reading a blog post. Apparently, to some, three-year-olds are a lot like teenagers.

Perhaps.

But it's a little different when you have an actual teenager. In my eyes, teenagers are scarier than threenagers. And here is why.




1. Teenagers are bigger.  So they can take you down if they wanted to. Three-year-olds can attack your knees. They do bite, but it's more chilling to see the person you made towering over you--eyes blazing with anger, with red pimples all over their face.



2. Teenagers voices are deeper. When they are upset with you, shouting is terrifying when it's no longer in an adorable chipmunk voice. I'd laugh at my three-year-old when they got upset because it was amusing to hear, "I don't YIKE this!" I don't laugh as much when my teenager booms, "Nothing is going right today!" and the walls are shaking.



3. If teenagers throw a fit in public, people judge. This is because everyone assumes a teenager should have their feelings in check. Newsflash: they don't. If a three-year-old is throwing a fit, some people will throw sympathetic looks towards the parent. Looks that say, "We've all been there. Hang in there." When a teenager does it, people mutter something about juvenile detention facilities.



4. Teenagers want more expensive things. A three-year-old might beg for a plastic Paw Patrol set. A teenager is like, "Can I have the new iPhone?" You might assume that when kids get older that it won't be as expensive--finally, no more toys--but it's not true.



5. Teenagers won't stop eating. You'll watch as they inhale most of a large pizza. A three-year-old will pick at their food. They'll be content with a bag of character fruit snacks. But a teenager will ask for more food, even if they've just eaten ten minutes ago. You'll be amazed when they go, "There's nothing to eat!" You'll say, "But I just went grocery shopping two days ago. There's plenty." You'll open the pantry door and blink with disbelief when you find that everything is gone.



6. The mood of a teenager can change instantly. One second they'll be laughing and you'll think, "This is great!" The next second they'll be wearing a scowl and grumbling something about how "their life is over." Yes, a three-year-old can have terrible mood swings. But again, it's not quite as frightening to hear a chipmunk voice go, "My life is OVER!"


7. Teenagers have a bigger vocabulary so their words can hurt. A three-year-old might go, "You're a poopy-head!" That amuses me. A teenager might write a long letter on how you are ruining their life. They might go on a tirade on how "they didn't ask to be born." A three-year-old will eventually tucker out and be ready for a nap. One hour later, and your teenager might still be ranting.


8. ....or a teenager might fall silent and not speak at all. A three-year-old is rarely quiet. But when a teenager goes quiet, you wonder what's happening. Are they talking with a pedophile online? Are they secretly doing drugs? Drinking? What's happening? What's going on? And all they'll say is, "I'm fine." Are you being bullied? WHAT'S GOING ON? "Fine." A three-year-old will tell you all about their day. "Janie picked her boogers. Parker wants to know if he can paint his cat. Dora found the hidden treasure."


Bottom line? Teenagers are frightening creatures. Sometimes I even wish my teenager could morph into a three-year-old again.



But then I remember how my three-year-old couldn't be left home alone. So I think I'll keep the teenager.

Even if he does scare me sometimes.


25 comments:

  1. I agree 100%. But I'd rather have her semi independent than needing my attention constantly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. uhh....thanks for scaring me. Now I don't ever want my kids to grow up to be teenagers...like ever. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've had my threenagers, but I am terrified of the teen years. Yes, I am scared to death about BOTH of my kids becoming teens. My son because I don't know what to expect and my daughter because I already know she is going to be trouble!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The tween years are scaring me enough- the teen years are scary to me. Though I don't know, I think the benefits probably outweigh the negatives (like that leaving home alone thing or being potty trained).

    ReplyDelete
  5. I laughed because I said and did all this as a teenager! Moms of teenagers deserve awards!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is great! My 11 year old is already eating SO much. It scares me. I love that I would be able to leave kids at home alone!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha!!! Yup pretty accurate.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Brilliant post! Teenagers going through puberty are exactly like toddlers - growing too fast, crying/angry. Being the shortest one in the house is weird!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha! You just scared me a little bit there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is my last year of freedom before I have a teenager and a toddler in the home at the same time. ( I was CRAZY for considering to do this! Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. NOT that I'd trade having my daughter!!) I loved this article because it's very true in many ways.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The emotional roller coaster of a teenager is never fun! I don't envy you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. As crazy as my three-year-old drives me, I'm terrified of a teenager. I can't even imagine. And they can smell even worse than toddlers!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ha, I've never heard the term threenager, but I'd rather deal with a three year old than a teenager... :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hehe this is hilarious!! I don't have kids, but teenagers scare me!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Teenagers as well as young 21 year old adults are definitely scary at times - I can totally relate. I miss my babies being babies to be honest. Life was so much easier when they were toddlers and young 5, 6 and 7 year olds. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  16. Haha! I have one a teenager, a girl. And just you wait, that is a new experience indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Amber - I hear ya. I look at moms of toddlers in the grocery store and think - oh you are so lucky! You "only" have a crying child. Just wait until that little one is 12 or 13 - just wait. They will have peer pressure influence showing them exactly how to get their way even more so! Ugh - can't we just lock them up in a tower until they are "of age?" It worked for Rapunzel.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haha funny and enjoyable post! Mine is sort of in the middle, about to turn 7....he is already girl crazy so I have to say I am a little worried about how he will be ten years from now lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    www.HometownQueenBee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. Haha, ya, I will take my teenager because I enjoy the independence, but they are definitely not less scary than a toddler! Mine tends to go quiet. I hate quiet. It's worse than screaming sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you for the laugh... I totally agree. There is also the factor that we have fewer years left to influence them, and mistakes made now (by them, by us) really and truly count. (Shudders in fear)

    ReplyDelete
  21. oh no, this makes me scared for my future!

    ReplyDelete
  22. The food thing scares me the most. My son is only eight and he is already constantly hungry! I'm going to need another job to buy groceries in a few years!

    ReplyDelete
  23. That's such a good point. Teens are so much like toddlers. And you're right about people not giving them the same leeway as toddlers when they are having a bad day, which is often enough. #SITSSharefest

    ReplyDelete
  24. My teen is very moody and angry at times. Thankfully he listens to me.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...