Friday, October 30, 2015

Things I Hope The Teacher Doesn't Tell Me During The Parent/Teacher Conference

I have parent/teacher conferences for the kids today. Some people look forward to these because they only hear praises about their children. Apparently 90% of kids are geniuses--this is based on the posts I see on Facebook, that is.

My kids are not geniuses.

My kids have issues with writing. And reading. (This pains me because I LOVE reading.) Math too, but I can't really blame them, because math is awful.

I always worry what the teacher might tell me when I go to conferences. Here are things I hope I don't hear.

1. Natalie told other students that she was taught to spell banana by listening to Hollaback Girl.

2. When I asked the students to go around the room and get to know one another, Natalie asked one girl, "Do you know if Brooks has cancer or not? My Mom keeps mentioning it."

3. Natalie tries to throw away papers with bad grades on them in the hall bathroom.

4. Tommy still won't speak much in class. He tries to get away with writing responses down on paper and holding it up.

5. Could you please tell Natalie to stop singing Shake It Off? It's hurting my ears.

6. Tommy said, "No thank you," when it was time to practice equations.

7. Remind Natalie that trading Shopkins during class is frowned upon.

8. Natalie held up an orange during lunch and shouted, "Look! It's Donald Trump!" Please remind her what unkind words are.


  1. oh how i used to embarrass my mom! and i never meant to!!

  2. Hahahaha. Oh at one of mine, my parents were told I learned to forge my dads name on math tests!! Mom was mad, but my dad said it was quite good! This may or may not be a skill my mom used later in life.
    Don't sweat it. It's usually kids like yours who end up doing well with themselves and those alleged "geniuses" are the ones looking like Uncle Rico 10 yrs after graduation.....

  3. #6 and #8 made me LOL.

    I don't understand why everyone thinks their kids are brilliant. It doesn't help them to be in denial of their actual abilities.

  4. Hahaha yes! Hope it goes well!

  5. haha! #8! I'm always afraid the teachers are going to tell me that my kids swore in class. It hasn't happened, somehow.
    We had our conferences on Wednesday. I was like shaking nervous but it was fine.

  6. Your kids are freaking hilarious! I can't believe Natalie is mentioning RHOC at school. Lolol!!

    I hope the interviews went well ;)

  7. Haha! Oh the parent teacher conference brings fear to all parents near and far!

  8. hahaah Donald Trump and an orange do have their similarities ;) haha!! If I were a teacher, I'd love having your kids, they sound pretty funny to me!!
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants

  9. Haha! Any one of those would make me laugh and slightly proud!

  10. Oh, I used to dread parent/teacher conferences, especially with my older son. I haven't been to one in years now that they're older, and I don't miss them at all!

  11. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love all those comments. Granted, I know this is satire, and there is Im sure some real-ness to your anxiety, but when push comes to shove, you kids are the bomb, you know it, everyone that reads your blog knows it, and I mean really, we're way better than those teachers anyways.... ;) Keep your head up mama. I'm sure they went fine!! :) HAPPY HALLOWEEN!


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