Monday, September 19, 2016

Don't Criticize Me For Giving My Kid ADHD Medication






I'm sure you've seen the news where someone hacked the records of well known athletes.

It was discovered that Simone Biles is on ADHD medication. And some people didn't like this.

I've never understood why people get so riled up over what another child takes.

My son Tommy was always active. I noticed it from a early age.



He would barely sit. He would race around in circles. His breath would come out ragged and it looked like he wanted to sit--but his body wouldn't let him.



I'd take him to stores and he couldn't even be in the cart. He'd scramble free and race down aisles. I was constantly chasing after him. It got to the point where I couldn't take him to stores. I had to wait until my husband returned from work to get anything done.

People would tell me, "Oh, he's just being a boy." But I'd look at their boys who would race around but then sit. And rest.

My boy never did that. Oh, he would sit, but never for long.

He started Kindergarten and the phone calls from the teacher started.

"Tommy can't sit still..."

"Tommy keeps crying..."

"I had to take Tommy to the office again because he wouldn't sit for story time.."

It was almost daily. I was at a loss. He was my first kid. What was I doing wrong?



It was later discovered that he had autism--but he was also diagnosed with ADHD. I filled out many forms. The doctor observed him. The teacher observed him and filled out their own forms.

People would tell me, "Don't you dare medicate him."

I tried whatever I could. I changed his diet. Nothing. I begged him to hold still and listen to the teacher. Tommy told me, "My brain won't let me." I could see the sadness in his eyes. He wanted to be good, but his body wouldn't let him. Something was always going off telling him to move.



In the end we opted for the medication. It took a while to find the one that worked. I watched in horror as Concerta turned my boy into a zombie. He'd sit on the couch--something he rarely did--but his eyes were vacant.

I told the doctor it wouldn't work. We tried others with the same results. I did my own research. I was on the computer for hours. I needed to find something to help my boy.

I discovered Vyvanse.

There was hesitation from the military doctors. It was a special order medication. I'd have a co-pay. I didn't care. I paid the co-pay. (A few years later I no longer had to do a co-pay. It became available in the military pharmacy, but it's still special order so I have to wait a few days to get the re-fill.)



Guess what? The Vyvanse worked. I remember a few days after Tommy started taking it he said, "Mommy, my brain lets me sit! I can hear my thoughts."

I knew I had made the right choice. He did better at school. The meltdowns still happened because of sensory overloads, but they were less frequent.

When people discovered my son was on medication, I got some snippy remarks.

"A six-year-old shouldn't be on medication. He's just being a boy." 

"You took the easy way out." 

"Shame on you. You're giving your child drugs."

My reply? "Do not judge a mother who is trying to help her kid. You don't know what it's like to see your child struggle and not be able to sit when he wants to. You don't get it. You think you do, but you don't."



Sometimes they'd retort, "My son was the same way and HE'S not on medication." But I'd watch that same child sit happily on his own. SIT. He'd SIT. My boy rarely sat. My boy couldn't focus for long periods of time. I'd be working on his letters with him and he'd be rocking back and forth, back and forth and then slide off his chair and race around in circles.

My son is a teenager now and is still on medication. He knows he can stop whenever he wants. But he tells me even now, "It helps me get things done." His grades are mostly As and Bs.

So here's my plea: stop judging. Stop with the snippy remarks. Never ever make a parent or a kid feel guilty for taking something that helps.



Because in the end, we're all doing the best we can.

45 comments:

  1. It's nobodies business! Ugh people need to mind their own business seriously. And man Simone can't catch a break.

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  2. Absolutely right. We are all doing the best we can! And if you feel it's best for your child, then do it. Period.

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  3. Bravo! My son is also ADHD. I've been blessed because his psychologist thinks I'm the best judge of what's working for him. He has Tourette Syndrome and can't take stimulant meds because of it. It took a long while to finally find something that worked.

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    1. I'm glad you finally found something that helps.

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  4. Finally!!!! I'm glad your speaking up because it blows my mind when people judge others for sh!t they don't even know about. Everyone has an opinion and 90% of the time no one asked. I'm glad your son is doing well and that everything is working out. Thanks for being vocal on a situation that seems to get pushed to the side.

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    1. I know! I never understand when people get nasty on how another person parents. How is it their business? Is it their kid? No? Then why waste the energy?

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  5. Hello!

    Never mind what others are saying. You are a good Momma who knows your boy, and its nobody's business is you look for treatment for him. You are a super Mom!

    For Urban Women

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  6. Well said and done! I'm so glad he's ok now. :)

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  7. Sometimes a mom just knows. I'm glad you followed up to get some answers, and that you went and did your own research to find your own answers, too.

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    1. Yes, that's for sure. I did all I could before I opted on the medication but even then some people will argue and say it's the wrong choice.

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  8. You know what's best for your child, don't let anyone try and tell you different.

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  9. 90% of the time, I think, I have ADHD too and no!! no one should judge, what we think is good for our kids. You did the right thing by researching and doing whats right.

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  10. A-freaking-men.

    My son told me on more than one occasion "I try so hard to do what I'm supposed to do but my brain won't let me. " But with medication- he's so much better.

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  11. I happened to go to school for Psychology when they were against the idea of medicating kids for ADHD or ADD. I don't agree with that because many do legitimately have it. Unfortunately our culture is set up to increase or exacerbate this in my view. We're all over-stimulated. But we want our kids to be comfy with themselves and not medicating the kids in many cases is letting the kid suffer...no mother wants that. I'd do the same. Like when I thought colic was bogus then my second had it. It's very real and I did go through many meds to get him comfy with his stomach issues.

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    1. I so agree with this. I do whatever I can to ensure my kids are comfortable.

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  12. I can't agree with you anymore! I am so tired of everyone judging what works for one kid and what doesn't work for another! I held off on medication. I also tried to un-medicate my son after we tried medicine because we could find the right thing. However, now that we have the right balance, his issues are manageable. Not fixed, but manageable and he is not a zombie!

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  13. I completely agree with this!!!! There is no reason to judge anybody.

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  14. Every mother needs to do what they honestly feel is best for their child and should be free from judgement of others. I say "read your baby, not your baby book", then you will trust your instincts and do the right thing.

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  15. My son was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year, and even though I went into the appointment swearing to myself that I wouldn't medicate him, in the end, I knew that medication would be the answer. He has since been on two different meds, and is doing very well in his first year of school- Kindergarten. Thank you for sharing!

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  16. People really need to stop judging. It helped you out, but really the meds are helping Tommy out and no one should say anything until they've been in his shoes. Argh. They should go busy themselves with something else..

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  17. Oh, wow, I can't believe what people say! I'm sorry for you and Tommy. What is wrong with THEM, not you, that they would say stuff like that?

    Good job taking care of your son, Mom. You go.

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  18. This line says it all - "Mommy, my brain lets me sit! I can hear my thoughts."
    I hate how people tell other people how to parent, first of all, but I hate the "He's just being a boy." thing. No. If my son ran around and couldn't rest and said his brain wouldn't let him, like you, that means being proactive. Good on you!

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  19. I agree... to each their own. I had to have my son on medication and I got all the same remarks. But, it did wonders for our son. He eventually was able to wean off as he grew but without those meds during the time he needed them I don't know where we would be today. Now my 3 year old was diagnosed as ADHD and she just started a SDC preschool to help her focus. She isn't on meds yet but if it comes to the point that I know she needs them you better believe I will give them to her. Each child is SO different. And, if you don't live in that house you have no idea what it is like to be that child's mother. A mother's intuition is something not to be ignored and you have to stand up and give your child what they need.

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  20. Wow, this post gives such a perspective! Thank you for sharing your experience, it's amazing to see such devoted and loving moms like yourself standing up for their little ones.

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  21. It's not an easy decision. You do what works best for you and your family.

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  22. You know best for your child and family. Ultimately everyone should function and be happy

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  23. Omg it drives me absolutely insane when people think they know what's best for your own child. I'm glad you found something that actually works and that's all that matters :) xoxo

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  24. I think you have to do what is best for your child and ignore the haters.

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  25. People will always criticize parents these days because they feel everyone's business is theirs. You do what is best for your child and tell those sticking their nose in that you'll cut that tip off! lol.

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  26. My friend's little girl have autism but she looks perfect which is why other people cannot tell there's something with her. I only knew about it when my friend told me about how difficult and sad their situation is and doing everything for her. From that point of view i feel your situation too. Hope you get through this.

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  27. Came here from http://resumescentre.com/ preview. I feel your troubles. Don't mind the say that doesn't help. Do the best for your child.

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Thanks for the comment!

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