Wednesday, February 1, 2017

When Your Valentine Is Deployed

My husband has gone through several deployments. One year in Korea. Plus tons of TDYs.






So I've spent many holidays alone. I learned to come up with ways to not feel so lonely. Valentine's Day is approaching, and I was on my own for many of the famous chocolate holiday. Here are different ways to not feel so alone.






1. Be your own Valentine. When my husband was gone, I bought tons of chocolate and chick flicks. Honestly, I ate lots of chocolate and watched tons of chick flicks on any other day. It's just my way. How it was different on Valentine's Day is I'd splurge on the expensive chocolate, like Godiva.



2. If you have kids, make it a fun day. Or night, if they have school. One year I got a bunch of fun foods to prepare: that popcorn you make over the stovetop, conversation hearts, and yes, chocolate. We also found a movie everyone could enjoy. No click flick, because I have a son and he'd have rolled his eyes.





3. Go out with friends! Seriously, see a movie, go to a bar, have an amazing time. I'm an introvert so I've never bothered, because I preferred to curl up in my pajamas, stuff my face, and watch a lady on the screen tearfully ask why she's alone.



4. See if you can have a "Skype" date with your spouse. Sometimes this wasn't always possible, as the Internet connection was terrible. It would freeze every couple of minutes so having a conversation could be difficult.



5. If you're able to "Skype" date, have him open a special Valentine's Day package. Be sure to mail it in early January so he'll receive it in time. When he does, tell him to wait and open it on Valentine's Day while you are watching. I did this one year. I filled the box with his favorite foods and funny gifts. No chocolate, because it would have melted over there. I once sent a chocolate bar and it ended up being a chocolate puddle at the bottom of the box. Oops. My husband always sent a lovely bouquet of flowers:




5. Keep in mind that you can go out and buy 50% off chocolate the next day. Yay!



Remember that you can still have a fabulous time even if your Valentine isn't around. There's no point in wallowing. After all, who can wallow when there is so much delicious chocolate to be eaten?


Have you ever been alone on Valentine's Day? What did you do?


76 comments:

  1. These are great ideas, especially grabbing chocolate 50% off the day after :)

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  2. They're great ideas. I have always seen it as a family holiday, so I love to celebrate with my kids. Without kids, I'd want to celebrate with family and friends. Anything!

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  3. Yeah, been there done that. These are all really good ideas!

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  4. 50% off chocolate the next day is the BEST LOL
    Being single or alone on Valentine's day need not be terrible and you gave some wonderful pointers on how to cope.
    I would totally come stuff my face with chocolate and watch chick flicks with you.

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  5. I definitely agree that making the most of it is the best way forward! Sometimes a night with the girls or even a night alone is just (almost) as great! Nikki x

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  6. Hmm, I've been "alone" on Valentine's Day more often then not. But I've always had friends to be with or yeah, go home and do my own thing!! This year, my man is not anywhere near me. Sigh. HA

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  7. These are great!! I'm all about going out with friends or staying in and binging on good takeout, wine and chocolate! I was single MANY VD Days (my nickname for it lol) and I always had a fun time. There are stories but I won't post them because my husband would be like who did I marry....lol!

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  8. What lovely ideas! My hubby and I don't really do valentines but at least we get to spend it together. I hope you get that as skype date!

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  9. "Valentine's Day" is everyday for me. Always a special moment between my husband and I. Love the fact your children are included in with the family activities with the both of you!

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  10. This is such a great idea. My husband and I always celebrate our Valentines Day with our girls. We do go out just ourselves sometimes once we took the girls for a date or something.

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  11. My Dada is always away too and am already used to it. But whenever we are together, its always a Valentine :)

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  12. Many good ideas for alone Valentine's. For sure going out with friends is my best option ;)

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  13. I love how you encourage yourself and keep happiness and fun activities in the home. I am sure your kids love the fun day. It sounds like you will have a wonderful Vday.

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  14. This is a strong reminder to keep perspective and make the best of whatever your situation is. Even in the midst of deployment, you have to try to keep your connection, but also do little things for yourself to keep your spirits up. I like the idea of a Skype date where you have him open a special care package on-screen.

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  15. These are wonderful tips. I love purchasing the candy once it go 50% off.

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  16. My husband travels a lot for work and often has to travel on holidays. He doesn't really consider Valentine's Day a holiday anyway. When he is gone I don't really do much anyway...I'm not a huge fan of chocolate or chick flicks so it's just a normal day!

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  17. Valentines is just a regular day for me. But I can see how it might be difficult for those who celebrate it. It's admirable how you hold down the fort while your husband serves. Such a good example for your children.

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  18. Kyle will be gone for Valentine's Day (we don't really celebrate) but I'm going to make it a fun day for me and E.

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  19. Good idea for being your own valentine. For me I like to spend it with some of my closet gal pals x

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  20. It can be tough to have a love one away on Valentines. I remember once a snowstorm kept my husband at work on Valentines.

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  21. Love these great ideas. We're lucky that we've never been separated on Valentines day, but that would be so tough. These tips are so helpful.

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  22. It must be hard if your husband is deployed to begin with but I am sure especially on Holidays it must be even more difficult. Spending and celebrating with the kids is a perfect idea !!

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  23. You're so proactive! I love it! I definitely agree, we can always find solutions and options (rather than excuses) in having a fun valentine's day! with or without a deployed spouse :)

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  24. That was life is all about, you just have to ride with it. Make everyday a valentine when you are together.

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  25. Great ideas for family during this period of deployment. I was raised in a military family and I watched my brothers family go through several deployments. Thanks for posting this for all those brave families who wait for their loved one to come home.

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  26. Although Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate love, I still believe showing your love should be done every day. Even if you are far apart, the bond remains and that is the most important thing, because as cliche as it may sound, "love knows no boundaries." Hugs to you and bask in the love you and your loved one share.

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  27. My current boyfriend came to visit me before Valentine's Day when I was still in college, we had to leave before the actual day so I ended up being alone the day of. We spent the weekend celebrating and had a skype date on Valentine's Day.

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  28. Aww, what a wonderful post to read, it must not have been easy. I think my husband and I did spend one Valentine's day apart, before we got married. He was working in Chicago then.

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  29. Being away from each other must suck. I experience it once when I was dating a guy before I bet my husband. Love the packaging idea you send your husband. Thank Goodness for skype, flowers and chocolates. :)

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  30. These are great tips. I am grateful for your husbands service, but I know it can be hard.

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  31. These are some great ideas for one to spend Valentine without their spouse.

    xoxo
    Radhika
    Expressing Life 

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  32. I think it's great that you still celebrate Valentine's Day when your spouse is deployed. I live alone and I always go out to eat for V Day. I'm usually the only one sitting at a table alone but I have as much fun as anyone else.

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  33. I think these are great ideas. I love spending Valentine's with my twins, they fill the house with so much love plus they also make an effort to make cards for me!

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  34. So many great ideas if your loved one is away. I always forget the candy is 1/2 off the next day, I need to remember that this year!

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  35. Some great ideas from you & I love the way you motivate yourself to stay positive when your husband is not near. I think kids bring us more happiness anytime and Skype dating is something that should bring some smiles on the special day!

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  36. Skype date sounds like a nice idea when you are too far from the love of your life. Otherwise spending some good time with girl friends is also a best way to spend Valentine's day!

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  37. Your take on these topics with a fresh view So right about being your own love

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  38. I've been there and done that. Deployments, etc. are never fun around the holidays.

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  39. I'm working on Valentine's day but I'm trying to get the following day off and celebrate a little late.

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  40. I don't know how you and other army wives can do this. I know myself, and I would not be ok with my spouse being away without me. Have a great Valentine's Day, full of chocolate.

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  41. My husband has missed so many holidays, anniversaries, birthdays being deployed I can't add them up. Just part of being military. This was before they had laptops and could FaceTime and message. We survived and all was well.

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  42. I have friends that do Galentines Day (and most of them are married with husbands at home). They go out and do something that night.

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  43. I love the idea of being your own Valentines. I've always been a believer that Valentine's Day was a day to celebrate ALL the love in your life (i.e. friends, family) not just the romantic kind. I love having with all my girlfriends on Galetine's daY.

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  44. Great ideas! It can be so tough when your spouse is on the other side of the world. (been there!) Chocolate definitely helps!!

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  45. I've never been alone for Valentine's Day, but to us it's just like any other day. No special lovey dovey. You've give a lot of great ideas for those that do find themselves alone though!

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  46. My daughter and I always do something fun for Valentines day. We usually do whatever she picks which ends up as tacos and bowling!

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  47. Great ideas to keep the sparkle alive while your hubby is deployed. I imagine it can be difficult being away from your loved one on Valentines Day but you've got some great tips.

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  48. Holidays must be so hard with your loved one deployed. I love 50% off candy the next day the best though.

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  49. This happened once to me. I did all my favorite things: bought flowers, a fancy dessert, watched movies I wanted to see, had a spa treatment and got a mani.

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  50. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the military and their families. You all sacrifice so much! I am sure any holidays being missed are hard. I like the idea of enjoying it with your kids or going out with friends. Get a bunch of fellow military wives together and have a ladies night out.

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  51. All great ideas! Yes, I have been alone on a Valentine's Day, I usually get ice cream, cake and watch a flick movie.

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  52. I have been by myself many a Valentine's Day. i completely admire you for being so strong through it all and my prayers are always with you.

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  53. Valentine's day has always been an ordinary day for me whether I was alone or had someone special in my life. But I will certainly continue to celebrate an important occasion even if I was alone. And you're right, things are cheaper after the celebration.

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  54. Oh, these are great ideas. Just always be happy, whatever day it is. I have never made a big deal out of Valentine's day, I love my husband always. I am so glad you can have fun with your sweetest kid. :)

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  55. I have spent two Valentine's day, Christmas, Easter, New Year's, birthdays, etc. etc. alone. That was when I was working overseas. They were the saddest days of my life. Working abroad was a huge sacrifice but I learned a lot from the experience - that love knows no distance. A simple call, an email, a card, was enough to make me smile through the tears.

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  56. I have spent many a Valentine's Day alone and it's really not as bad as people think. I love all of your ideas!

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  57. Great ideas! Yes! I need to think ahead of time. If my gf is away for sure I'll send her gifts in advance so it will be there on time.

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  58. I agree, it doesn't have to be sad. My husband and I are both veterans and we've experienced time away from each other and even the kids. I think it's really nice to start your own traditions. These are great ideas!

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  59. It is sad if your spouse is not around on Valentines day. However if it is the call of duty, one needs to cope. These are some excellent ideas though. Loved the Chick flick idea.

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  60. You're a strong woman for taking care of your children while your man is deployed. These are great ideas for spending Valentines Day alone especially when we're constantly bombarded with advertisements on how we should be spending our Valentines. The commercial aspect of Valentines can easily make people feel lonely or inadequate when they don't fit the conventional roses and valentines and being swept off your feet in central park image.

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  61. I am sure it could be very challenging being away from a loved one that's deployed on any day and especially holidays and special occasions. Technology is making it a bit easier now.

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  62. I cant think of a year that I didn't go and get the on-sale chocolate after wards. They have great deals! Great suggestions, thanks for sharing.

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  63. Of all these ideas, what excites me most is the 50% off chocolates the next day! Lol. I love chocolates so much.

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  64. I really enjoyed reading this post. Sounds like you are making the best of it.

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  65. Awesome tips, especially because so many of them involve chocolate haha! These would also work great for single ladies.

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  66. Your husband is nothing short of a hero. Hang in there girly!

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  67. I plan on spending the whole day with my kids. I love them so much.

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  68. 50% off candies and flowers, and no overpriced restaurant dinners! Yeap, Babushka agrees that the next day is the best part of Valentine's. BB2U

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  69. Honestly Valentine’s Day has never been my thing to celebrate but I love how you make it work with your husband being deployed. That must be tough

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  70. It's better that you have kids already, even if you don't have your valentines, there are proxies, or a reminder. I love how you take it positively. Happy Valentines!

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  71. These are really excellent suggestions for this upcoming Valentines Day. You can still celebrate it and make it lovely even if you are not with them.

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  72. I agree that making the most of it is the best way to live your life! Love your suggestions and tips and how positive you see it all!

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  73. These are great tips for women with deloyed. These are even good tips for single women too!

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  74. Sometimes life is hard for military spouses.Anyway,these are great tips and ways to celebrate Valentines day even if the other-half is not near by.

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  75. Great ideas! I'm in a long distance relationship, so have spent quite a few valentines day's alone - I don't really mind though, but I'm definitely a sucker for a cheesy rom-com and a glass of wine.

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  76. Not once did I have a Valentine for this day and neither do I care. Just another day of self pampering! I'm glad you are trying out so many things!

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Thanks for the comment!

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