Wednesday, January 31, 2018

How To Get Through The Super Bowl

"First in ten, the endzone, blah-de-blah-de-blah."

When people talk football to me, all I hear is what the Peanuts kids heard when adults spoke.

"Wah-wah-wah-wah."

My eyes glaze over. I immediately change the subject.





Before I married my husband, I asked if he watched football. Had he said yes, I'd have moved on.

I'm kidding.

But I am grateful he only watches when the Cleveland Browns are doing well, which is like 1% of the time. Other than that, he doesn't care if the game is on.

Praise chocolate!

I don't have to hear a grown adult shout if another team scores! I don't have to hear shouting if a player isn't doing the right thing. I don't have to watch a grown man throw a tantrum if his team loses. (Look up man football tantrums on YouTube. You won't be sorry. These men weren't hugged enough as children, apparently.)

However.

Sometimes we get invited to Super Bowl parties. My first question usually is, "Do we have to stay for the entire game?"

If you're invited to a Super Bowl party, or if your husband watches football and the sport bores you tears, I have tips to get through it all.





1. Bring a book. Seriously. If everyone else is going to watch football and you are not, it isn't rude to read. Make sure you thank the host, but if all eyes are on the screen, read! Or if your husband insists on having people over and all they plan on doing is watching football, read.



2. Pig out. There's usually amazing food at Super Bowl parties. If you stink at cooking like I do, take advantage. Granted, make sure you bring a dish because it's rude to expect the hostess to make everything, unless she insists. Some people actually LIKE to cook, and I forget this at times. Or sometimes people know how terrible I am at cooking and practically beg me not to bring anything.



3. Root for the team everyone else is against. You'll usually spot the man children fairly quickly. Some will even claim you're "bad luck." Remind them it's just a silly game and to take it down a notch. (For the record, I'm for the Eagles only because Tom Brady seems kind of cocky to me.)



4. Start talking about This Is Us and how Jack is going to die when the game is over. I mean, most men might be like, "Huh? What are you talking about?" but it's the exact same thing YOU'RE thinking when they ramble on about yards and bad coaches, so it's okay. Be like, "Yeah, so it's this old crock pot that catches on fire and Kate somehow thinks it's HER fault that Jack dies, when in reality, it's Jack's for not unplugging the Crock Pot in the first place. Well, I guess it could be Jack AND Rebecca, because neither of them changed the batteries in their fire alarms. How are your batteries in the fire alarms? Our are great and go off often when I cook, so I know they're working."


5. Enjoy the commercials. Most of them are amusing. Some are stupid and you wonder why money was wasted on it. Some are baffling and you wonder how drunk the person was who came up with it. See: puppymonkeybaby commercial.








So will you be watching the Super Bowl? My husband might go to a party, but I've already told him I'm staying home.

47 comments:

  1. I love this post! I've used the Peanuts analogy before when trying to explain to people why I don't enjoy sports. When someone tries to explain it to me, I can see their mouths moving, but my brain doesn't accept what they're saying as actual words. And the sound of sports playing in the background is more depressing to me than elevator music.

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    1. Ugh, yes! I'm glad someone else gets it. Most of my friends actually LIKE sports.

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  2. I get through the Super Bowl with its commercials and halftime music lol. Not much of a football fan.... xo, Suzanne

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  3. Normally I love watching the Superbowl and especially when my Patriots are in it, but this year I am sitting it out.

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  4. It's a shame that you're not that enthusiastic about football or the super bowl. If you are ever dragged to one, just enjoy the company of others or just the party. The game is just an excuse to party.

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    1. Oh, trust me, if people want to talk about stuff other than football, I'm all for it. But I went to one party and it was ALL about football, and I wished I had a book.

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  5. We are having a big football party. Out of everyone only two people really care about watching football. There is a separate room they can go and watch the game. Everyone, well we get together for the great food and conversation.

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  6. That is me too not caring who wins in ALL sports! Hahaha! Sorry! That means I am totally disconnected.

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  7. oh I can so get on board with pigging out rofl

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  8. Definitely eating and commercials! This year I'll be traveling during the super bowl!

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  9. Honestly I could care less about the game itself but it is fun to watch the commercials and hang out with friends.

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  10. hahaha, I always root for the other team. although in this case, I live in New England AND the other team seems totally obnoxious. So I can't just this one.
    I can pig out, though!

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  11. OMG I love this!!! I have no husband and I never watched football but I've been at those football gatherings and I hated it! That puppymonkeybaby commercial is so weird! I agree with you that the writers had to have been drunk! lol

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  12. Ha ha, my husband and I are not big football fans at all. We have plans to go over to a friends house for the game this Sunday. There will be a ton of kids running around, yummy food! Also, the commercials are always amazing. I am really excited to see Justin Timberlake's halftime show as well, so there is enough to still make it a fun day.

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  13. Number three cracked me up! Certainly would be entertaining for the non football fan lol. I happen to be very into football but not into any Superbowl that much unless my tea made it! I watch but I don't get into it full swing.

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  14. Yes, the super bowl is all about good food for me, too. I also enjoy the commercials and spending time with family & friends.

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  15. I can't relate because I love football and I LOVE the Super Bowl. The food, the family and friends, the commercials, JT at the halftime show...SO MUCH TO BE EXCITED ABOUT!

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  16. Lucky you, my husband's whole day is ruined if his team is not doing well. He gets mad at the players personally. I can't sleep at night...I mean the man is like one of those annoying fans that thinks he knows more about how players should be playing than the coaches. ;) As for me, its just a good day to binge on appetizers.

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  17. super bowl is not too big in canada but we have something similar with hockey season! every one just go to the pub and watch together, get ready to be drunk even on work night! yikes!

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  18. The food is the best part of Super Bowl parties. Well, that and all the great commercials on TV.

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  19. I love your post. My boy and my friends love football, but I just enjoy the commercials. Thanks for sharing.

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  20. I am the same with Football {Soccer} I couldnt care less but awesome tips indeeed

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  21. I don't watch football either but the boys at home do. I think I've gotten used to it all, but I feel so blessed they aren't big babies that throw tantrums when something goes wrong! Lol.

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  22. I love football but I haven't watched this season. The mister likes football but would rather play it than watch. We do go to Super Bowl parties and I go for the social, the food, the game and the wine. lol

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  23. I am not a huge football fan, meaning I know nothing about the Superbowl but these tips kind of help me out with that. I am in it for the halftime show and the snacks. What can I say?

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  24. I am blessed with a husband who doesn't give a rat's patootie about sports at all :) I know quite a bit about the rules of the game, because my dad was a jock and played in high school. He was also a baseball player, so I know those rules as well. And I know about boxing - but I don't follow any sport. However, if I have to go to a superbowl party, I am versed enough that I know what's going on.

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  25. I totally agree not all of us shared the same excitement when it comes to super bowl esp. when your team you are rooting for is not playing. But its always nice to gather with friends and eat food haha!

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  26. Hahahahahaha! I love your post! I dont care about the “big game” either, my hubby and i are both into soccer so yayy! But everyone else around us is crazy about the game. Well come to the party and of course were respectful that hey like football, but honestly im just going for the food and the commercials. Ok there, I said it 😀😀😀 thanks for sharing

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  27. ahahah such a fun post. We don't have the superbowl in the uk so nothing to worry about on my end!

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  28. I would rather read a book than watch super bowl but I would like Patriot to win ha ha. I am not sure if the men at home will watch it.

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  29. I'm not into football either. I usually just pay attention to the food, which is how I ended up missing the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, ha ha.

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  30. I had to laugh at the football meme. I really just don't care anymore!

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  31. I'm usually tired after all of the cooking and I'm not a big football fan. But if I watch the Superbowl its for the music and commercials; however, I do love your tips.

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  32. This is so funny. I love it. I am one of those people looking for ways to get out of staying the whole time.

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  33. This is hilarious, and I can relate! Just yesterday my coworker was like "Who do you want to win the Superbowl?!" I don't even know who's playing!

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  34. OMG YES! This is so hilarious! I mostly gravitate towards drinking wine with the girls that are there and eating + chatting about woman things while the men do their thing! I can NOT believe This Is Us is airing after! So WRONG! What kind of foods do you like the most? I love me some guacamole!

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  35. Haha this post is amazing! I hope all of those who aren't a fan of the Superbowl have a good time and manage to keep away from it ;)

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  36. Not really into American Footbal so I'm not too affected by the Superbowl craze. I watch tennis more as it is my favorite sport and of course, food channels!

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  37. I've always been grateful my husband didn't follow sports. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one on the planet who doesn't hold down a couch in front of the TV on Super Bowl Sunday.

    I enjoyed reading your "About Me" so much I just downloaded your book.

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  38. I'm not a big football fan, but my friends are so I always end up at a superbowl party NOT watching the game lol. I guess being around friends and people i enjoy makes the experience a lot better.

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  39. Football really isn’t my thing either. My hubby and I prefer basketball, but then again, I’m not really into that too much either! I am planning to pig out and read a book, so I’m totally feeling your list! 😂

    Amber S. | www.thesuburbansocialite.com

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  40. I love all these ideas.We don't have experience with super bowl.But,cricket matches are the favourites for husband and many friends.As you said,I'd try to enjoy the commercials :)

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  41. I don't really watch football. I might catch a little bit here and there but I used to only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. But you can see those on the internet. I let my husband watch in peace.

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  42. I feel you! When boys are busy watching their favorite game, I learned to never interrupt, unless offering them more food and drinks and co_cheers :)

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  43. BAHAHA I really don't care about football, but yes to the food and commercials!!

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  44. LOL PIG out yes!!!! I am one of those cases that I do not watch it at all but super bowl I DO! Yesterdays game was actually a really good game and I love seeing the Pats defeated haha I also love the commercials I love studying the marketing behind each one (yes im a nerd lol)

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  45. I absolutely love number 4!!!! That is exactly what I did the entire time. I just kept asking when it was going to be over so This Is Us could come on! I also enjoy the food of the day as well! Awesome tips, thanks for sharing!

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Thanks for the comment!

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