Thursday, March 22, 2018

How To RSVP Properly

This is an invitation.





Normally when you get one, there's a phone number with the letters RSVP beside it. (My number is blurred for obvious reasons. But pretend there's a number there.) It basically means please let the party host know if you are going. Or if you are NOT going. I admit, years ago, I thought I only had to RSVP if I WAS going, but I realized that was incorrect. You're supposed to RSVP either way.

My daughter had a birthday party and passed out invitations. Some people did RSVP. Yay! They get a gold star.

Others?

Well.



Look, here's the thing. When people have birthday parties at certain venues, the host has to pay PER PERSON. So they need to know if you are coming or not so they can tell the venue how many guests are attending. If people are throwing parties at home, it's still a big deal because they need to know how much food to prepare.

Natalie had her birthday party at Main Event, and they called a few days before her party to ask how many were coming. This is because I had to pay per person and they needed to know how much food to prepare. I was embarrassed to have to tell them that only 7 people had RSVPed when I had told them that 12 were attending.

"Maybe more will show up," I said. "But who knows?"

Let's go over this again.

This is an invitation.



Normally when you get one, there's a phone number with the letters RSVP beside it. You're supposed to CALL or TEXT that number to let the party host know if you are coming. (Or you can verbally tell the host if you see them.) If you do not do this, it's rude. Now, maybe your child forgot to give you the invitation. It happens. I have found crumpled up invitations at the bottom of my daughter's backpack in the past. But if your kid hands you an invitation and you see that the date won't work, CALL or TEXT the number and decline. Texting takes like 30 seconds. There really is no excuse.



So the day of Natalie's party came, and the people who said they were coming did show up. That's fabulous!

But then two people who did not RSVP showed up. Late.



I mean. No text. No call. Just strolled on up as though nothing were amiss. No apology for being tardy. No apology for not RSVPing. I'd personally be embarrassed to come to a party late without RSVPing but I'm finding people don't think manners apply to them in 2018.


Luckily we still had spots for them. But I could have easily assumed not everyone was coming and had Natalie invite new people. Then there would NOT have been spots for them, and I'd have to turn them away, because I wouldn't pay for more people than I had to. Natalie's party fell during Spring Break, so perhaps some people were on vacation. Cool. Great. But again, it's super easy to send a text saying if you're coming or not. Honestly, I was debating only making party bags for the polite people who had RSVPed, but I didn't want to punish the kids who might show up because it's not their fault they have rude parents. So I made the 12 bags.


It all worked out in the end. But I was beyond frustrated not knowing who was coming. If I had known the phone numbers of the people Natalie invited I'd have asked myself.

I doubt I'll ever do a birthday party again. I'll just tell Natalie to invite a friend for a sleepover and call it a day.

But remember: when you get an invitation?




RSVP. Your party host will be grateful.

41 comments:

  1. Maybe people no longer know that RSVP means they need to respond...???
    Who knows, but yes, to show up (even invited) without responding is rude.

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    1. I so agree, but many people don't care it seems. It is frustrating.

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  2. Oh my goodness this was true for my wedding!!!! Basically none of my husband’s family RSVP’d. They assumed we would just know so we had to call everyone on his side a few weeks before to confirm. Good thing we did because we learned his brother’s new girlfriend who was coming had 2 kids we needed to have chairs at tables and plates for.

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    1. That's crazy! I never get when people assume that you'll know if they are coming. Uh no, I don't read minds. I wish I could!

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  3. GIRL! So I had a wedding on a budget. went to a judge for the ceremony then over the weekend had a reception party at our house. Had it catered and everything. had rental chairs and tables, etc. I sent the invites and said TEXT ME TO RSVP. Like 7 ppl rsvped. I had to follow up with the rest of the 90 people (we have a big yard lol). I needed an accurate headcount for the catering okay??? So the day of the reception I get a bunch of texts from people that can't come at the last minute with some ho hum excuse. I'm like um high this is a wedding reception WTF. there were like 15 ppl that cancelled. I had so much extra food. was so fcking pissed!

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    1. I'm sorry! I'd have been beyond ticked. I get that people are busy with their own things, but seriously. Some people seriously need some sort of etiquette class.

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  4. I've always RSVP'd when we received a real invite. It's just good common courtesy so a person can plan an event. But unfortunately a lot of people don't.

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  5. I have been waiting on this post from you. Have to pay per person and not have that person respond is totally rude. Are they coming are they not. Takes all of what 10 seconds to respond. Get the message people RSVP.

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  6. I am the mom who calls people out on this and asks they in person or calls them on the phone about it

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    1. I wish I could have done this! I didn't have the numbers of everyone, unfortunately. If I did, I would have so called and asked!

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  7. This year all the kids in Gabbie's class are having bar and bat mitzvahs so I have to make sure to rsvp! If I didn't reply, I would never sent her as a yes!

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  8. I loathe birthday party planning, for this reason right here. My girls have only had a couple of planned parties that included friends, because I was tired of creating a party, and spending all that money for people to not RSVP.

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  9. I always want to RSVP if I can get one. It drives me crazy when people don't and then they expect that I have planned for them. I have a couple of times not had anything for their child to take home because of this.

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  10. It's astonishing in this day and age that people are even worse about it. You used to have to call someone or send back a reply card! Now you can text or email. Come on, people - not rocket science! (I really hope I've been acing this..)

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  11. I always RSVP. Even if I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it. ( I let the host know that there is a possibility that I won't be able to make. ) You would think with modern technology that it would be super simple.

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  12. There are always those that don't RSVP and show up to my events. They always come so I now know to include them even though I'll never get them to RSVP. It can be frustrating for sure when planning something with no idea of how many to plan for.

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  13. This drives me nuts about parties. Just RSVP. It's not hard. I'll even put text or call (number here) or email (email here) and still this happens. I RSVP even when it's a no, but people seem to respond really oddly to my no's like I was only supposed to say something if I was a yes. I figure knowing we're a no helps with the planning more than them not hearing from us and wondering if we'll end up showing up.

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  14. Don't you know that everyone else's lives are more important than yours? It drives me batty that no one RSVP's anymore. And don't even get me started on thank you cards.

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  15. I guess this is where having a child with a small circle comes in handy. He doesn't get invited to many parties, and we never invite many kids to his parties. I've RSVPed to weddings before, but that's about it.

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  16. I TOTALLY agree with you. It's so rude not to RSVP. It takes just a minute and not doing so is completely inconsiderate.

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  17. I never thought about RSVP-ing when I couldn't go, I just thought you had to tell someone yes. Oops!

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  18. There are invitations that doesn't have an RSVP which is okay but when it DOES have one, it's out of respect for the host to RSVP, because first, it's not a walk in the park to plan a party and the host already has tons of things to think about and one of them shouldn't be whether you're going or not. A little respect goes a long way.

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  19. Some people seriously need some sort of etiquette class. Sometimes they make you feel irritated.

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  20. The invitation look amazing. Perfect with her 11 theme. I also thought that you have to RSVP only if you are going. But it does make sense to do it both ways. I'm glad you still had space for the late kids, and even if it sucks i think Natalie was happy they came.

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  21. I hope she enjoyed her birthday at Main Event. I'm horrible about not RSVPing because like you, I thought it was only customary to let them know if you were coming. Next time I get an invition, I will have to let the parent know either way.

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  22. This is actually a really necessary post. Anymore people just don't RSVP coming or not. That is so rude!

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  23. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many people really need to read this post!

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  24. You know I stop hosting birthday parties for the kids because of this. Glad you posted this, it's important to RSVP as a courtesy to the one inviting.

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  25. I'm the worst when it comes to RSVPing! Seriously... I have so much on my plate I usually forget. But on the opposite end, I hate when people don't RSVP. I think our lives just get so crazy, that we forget.

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  26. Thanks for sharing this. I always send my rvsp from the moment I receive my invitation. It helps a lot specially to the host as she will not get lost with the head count.

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  27. I don't really attend parties but I do get invited to different events. I always make sure to reply, even if I can't make it, just so that they know I acknowledged the invitation but I am unable to make it. I think it's common sense and it also the respectful way to do things.

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  28. I think it is really rude not to answer to the invitations. Last year I asked my daughter to ask for phone number of the children's parents that were invited. So, I talked to them personally and I had the oportunity to know if they are coming or nor. I was lucky :)

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  29. RSVP is such an important part of party planning. Some people are just too lazy and rude.

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  30. Sending a response or letting the host know if you are coming or not, you should still advise whether personal or via text or call. Be considerate that number of persons is really important.

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  31. I know it's kind of crazy. I think a lot of days people are doing the online inviting thing because it makes it easier to keep track of. But even then not all people respond to the invitations. I know I see something once and I have forgotten to comment back on it later. But you are right. It should be done either way.

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  32. I completely agree with you, majority of the people seem to have forgotten the importance of being able to RSVP for a party. It's essential that guests do this for the sake of the host. Glad you're posting about it!

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  33. That is one of my pet peeves! People who wont tell you if they can make it or not, its a simple yet or not. Any last minute changes tell the host!

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  34. When we were growing up Mom had us RSVP (even if it was just telling our friend that we were coming) to every birthday invite that we received. She said it was just good manners.

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  35. This is my biggest pet peeve. It started with our wedding. I actually had to call people to ask and they still wouldn’t return my call. Of course, they have no problem calling when it’s something they want from me. One person sent the card as a no because it was rude I called them. I waited a week after I needed the count.

    Since going through the no rsvp thing with our daughter’s birthday parties, we stopped inviting the people who don’t ever rsvp.

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  36. Your phone number is 100% visible, you did a terrible job blurring.

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    Replies
    1. Eh, I got a new one anyway, I kept getting automated calls on the other and had enough.

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