Ode to Ice Cream

Today was lab work day.

Meaning blood work.

Blood makes me squirm. I don't watch gory movies because watching blood and guts fly through the air makes me sick. When Tom makes me watch Saving Private Ryan my eyes are shielded for the first half of the film. Even though I've bravely peeked up a few times and am no tormented with the image of a young soldier, lying on the beach, his guts surrounding him screaming out for his mother.

I had lunch before I went to get blood work done. Because, as some people remember, I passed out when I had this done with Tommy.

I don't know why this happens for me. It only happens when I get a lot of blood drawn. If it's one vial, for example, I'm fine.

Today it was four large vials plus a small one.

First I had to pee into a cup. I've no idea why. It was that cute guy behind the desk again. He went,

"Can you urinate."

Urinate. That word makes me smile.

I assured him I could.

Then he added a wet cloth on top of the plastic jar.

"Wipe yourself with this cloth for sanitization," he instructed.

I blushed at this. How he said "wipe."

And I was a little baffled, I had never done that before. But I wouldn't dare as him to repeat the instructions and use the word "wipe" in my presence again.

I did my business.

Then I was told they'd call me back when I was finished.

Tom and Tommy were in the waiting room. Tommy was actually sitting beside Tom. With me he's climbing over chairs, rolling on the floor...they looked identical, both with their arms folded over their chests, same bored expressions over their faces.

I was called back five minutes later. My heart was pounding. I kept thinking, "Okay think of something happy. Think of a catchy jingle..or a happy song.."

I was instructed sit and stretch out my arm.

I like ice cream a whole lot.. I thought.

(For some reason, the only thing that popped into my head was the poem Vada read in the movie My Girl. )

The rubber band was tied around my arm, the guy tapped my vein a few times.

It tastes good when days are hot..

The needle went in.

On a cone or in a dish...

The blood started to go out. I squished my eyes shut and looked away.

This would be my only wish..

"Uh are you okay?" the guy asked noticing my squished eyes.

Vanilla, chocolate or rocky road..

"I'm fine. I just..blood.." I made a face.

Even with pie, a la mode..

Then the black spots began dancing in front of me.

The same black spots that occured right before I passed out last time.

"Um," I called out. At this point the room had become all black. "I, ugh, I'm dizzy.."

The guy stopped his work. He offered to get me some water. I'm always embarrassed to accept offers like this, because I feel like I'm wasting their time. But I said yes, because I knew I was seconds away from keeling over.

He passed me some lukewarm water. I drank it down, even though it tasted like dirt.

Then he got me another glass.

"Drink this too.."

So I did.

At this point the spots had disappeared. My head was swimming a little bit but I was able to see again.

"I still have two vials left.." the guy said almost apologetically.

I let him continue.

I didn't feel dizzy again.

"All done," the guy said.

I thanked him. Then I stopped and said, "So someone will call..." I trailed off, not able to say the words "if something is wrong."

He knew what I was asking. He went, "Yes. No news is good news.."

I feel okay now.

Glad that I didn't pass out.