Friday, January 19, 2007

Shopping Mystery

How does it happen?

How do we walk into Wal-Mart intending to get a few items and walk out with bags and bags and spending $118?

I'm confused.

Or maybe I'm not.

I am a hungry pregnant woman and all the food items looked delicious.

In went the frosted sugar cookies.

In went a vegetable medly. (Hey, get those jaws up off the ground, I do eat healthy, I promise, I just usually write about eating junk food because it seems more appealing than saying, "Yes and I had two apples as well..")

In went a slice of carrot cake. I love how Wal-Mart just sells slices of cakes. Because I live with two picky boys and I cannot consume an entire cake on my own. (Fine, well, I can but even I have my limits..)

Then I wandered in the baby section with Tom at my heels demanding to know what I was looking for.

(Gee, Tom, I don't know, I'm carrying a baby after all...)

Actually, I went into the baby section to pick up something for Jennifer. She just found out she was pregnant and when I found out I was pregnant she gave me some onesies. So I wanted to get her something for her baby.

Tom was all, "Here, give her this," and tried to put some pink sleepers in the cart.

"We don't know it's a girl yet!" I shouted and put it back. "I need something unisex."

"Then get her these!" Tom said and tried to throw some boring plain white onesies in the cart.

"Those are boring," I insisited, removing them. "They need to have something on them.."

"Shopping with you is horrible!" Tom grumbled and began to sulk.

Shopping with me is horrible?

Shopping with him is horrible! That's the truth. There have been so many times when I wanted to rush up to another man and say, "Please, please talk to my husband for ten minutes so I can shop in peace!" and then discreetly leave a five dollar bill in his palm.

Then I wandered into the toy aisle.

"Wow wow, what are we doing?" Tom asked.

"I'm picking something out for Christopher so he's not left out when I send the package to Jennifer," I explained.

"I thought we just came in here for waffles and a light for the bathroom," Tom hissed.

"Well we did but while we're here, we may as well look," I replied cheerfully.

"No. NO. Men don't shop like that. We know we want, we go in, we buy what we need and we leave..we don't LOOK just because we're in a store. We get in and get out..." Tom said.

"Mmmm," I answered and then went down the kitchen appliance aisle.

"Now why are we down here?" Tom complained.

"We're looking. I'm still in awe of all these choices! Look, look at this microwave it has sensors in it!"

"We HAVE a microwave!"

"I know but I was just saying..."

"Please, can we GO?"


Before we went to Wal-Mart I had my prenatal appointment.

Guess what?

I don't have gestational diabetes!


And I'm not anemic.

*Cheers again*

I'm just glad I won't have to re-take the test and wait three hours.

The bad news is that I will not be receiving an ultrasound.

Like I suspected, the hospital only does them if you're considered high risk.

Which I'm not.

And I'm glad I'm not but at the same time I kind of want to check between the baby's legs...

Otherwise the poor boy is going to be in pink for awhile.

I'm almost sure it's a girl though. This pregnancy has been different from when I had Tommy. When I had Tommy I don't remember being this moody. And with Tommy I was sick a lot. Plus I'm carrying differently.

But who knows?

We got to listen to Natalie's heartbeat.

It's 150 bpm.

When we were listening to her heartbeat Tommy went, "What's that sound?"

The doctor replied, "It's the baby.."

Tommy went, "No it's not the baby it's NATALIE!"

The doctor thought that was adorable.

Oh and Natalie is already head down!

I thought she was because I was feeling more kicks closer to my ribs.

So I'm healthy.

Natalie is healthy.


I asked about the strep B test too.

I didn't have one with Tommy.

The doctor was all, "Yes that occurs at 36 weeks and we take a swab of the vagina and the rectal area.."

Excuse ME?

The RECTAL area?

That's my ass.

I don't want a swab around my ass.

I suppose I don't have a choice though...

Even Tom looked a little grossed out. He pulled a face and said he was sorry as we walked out of the exam room.

I shouldn't be worrying about a swab around my tooshie though.

I should be worrying about pushing a human being from between my legs once again...


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