Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Help! I'm Surrounded by Moon Sand!

I do not like Moon Sand here or there..

I do not like Moon Sand ANYWHERE. (Especially after I have JUST vacuumed..)

I made the mistake of buying Moon Sand for Easter. Because my son wouldn't stop talking about how it "would never dry out."

I am starting to curse those commercials that come on Nickelodeon. Now my son has been lusting over Bendaroos which I am refusing to buy. I've already found a wad of Moon Sand in my shoe and now my sock is permanently tinted purple. I do not want to find Bendaroos in my underwear drawer.

So sorry, son. No Bendaroos.

And in a few days your Moon Sand is going to mysteriously disappear and I'm going to feign confusion and say something like, "Brobee must've taken it with him when he went to Brobee Land for a few days."

Because, okay, I admit it, I hide my daughter's singing Brobee sometimes.

I feel bad, of course I do, but at the same time my brain is screaming, "Thank you! If I would have had to hear that song ONE MORE time I would have totally shut down on you."

And I'm sorry, with my husband gone until June, I need a functioning mind.

In other news, I went out and bought cheap candy yesterday. All the Easter stuff was marked half off and even though I'm Cutting Back, I made sure that I was able to pick up a few Cadbury Cream Eggs and a chocolate bunny.

I just tell myself that hey, I drive a hybrid now which saves money on gas. So the money that I'm saving on gas could go to the Cadbury Cream Eggs. And, you know, the chocolate can be the environment's way of telling me thank you for driving a hybrid. You're welcome, Earth. Happy to help.

I also picked up a few items for next Easter.

You see that circled toy? They are from Natalie's beloved Yo Gabba Gabba show. That's where Brobee comes from by the way. I feel the need to point that out in case you don't have children and are all, "What's a Brobee? What's she talking about?" Or maybe you're a parent who doesn't allow TV in the house. More power to you, I guess. I think I'd lose my mind without the 20 minute break I get thanks to Yo Gabba Gabba.

But anyhow, Natalie actually spotted that toy first.

I was busy looking at the leftover chocolate--and I'm sad to say that there wasn't much left which leaves me to believe that Cheyenne is filled with a bunch of pigs. And okay, maybe other chocoholics. I just assumed I was the only one living here so that there would be a lot left.

So my mouth was watering over a Dove chocolate bunny and a white chocolate bunny and I was determining which one I should get (actually, I was leaning on both..) and then I heard Natalie shriek,


I turned around just in time to catch her. Because she seriously had leaped out of the cart and was about to do a nose dive on the floor.

"Natalie!" I lectured her. "You could have lost a tooth or something! All for a creepy character?"

Natalie, my strange little daughter, nodded her head emphatically.

I'd like to hope that she had no idea what I was talking about. Otherwise we're going to have problems when she starts school.

This lady who had siddled up beside me overheard and gave a polite smile.

"Your daughter is into Yo Gabba Gabba I take it?" she said.

It's always on the tip of my tongue to be sarcastic. But I really try to swallow it back when I'm around people I don't know. I find sarcasm tends to offend people. (Sorry if I've ever offended you.) What I wanted to say was,

"No, my daughter hates that show. She only nearly broke her neck for the fun of it and because she really really likes the flooring at Target and wanted her face embedded in it."

Instead I replied in a sweet voice, "Yes. Even though it creeps me out."

The woman looked taken aback. At first I thought I had accidentally said my Sarcasm comment but then I realized that no, I had remained nice.

But then she was all, "How can you think it's creepy? It's ADORABLLLLEEE!" She said this in a voice that made me believe that she just had to have been a cheerleader in high school.

I had to force a smile as I placed Natalie back into the cart. She was hugging onto her beloved Yo Gabba Gabba toy for dear life.

"It's just....a little much for me," I felt the need to explain since the lady was looking really troubled. "Like, when Jack Black came on and he was dancing around in that orange spandex suit? I wasn't sure if I should laugh or gouge my eyes out." I laughed, thinking that she'd join me because HELLO it was a little freaky when Jack Black was jumping around in that orange spandex suit.

But the lady just pressed her lips together and tilted her head to the side as though I had said something incredibly thought provoking. Finally she shook her head and said kindly, "Jack Black was incredible."


Okay then.

Usually I find the Crazies at Wal-Mart but I guess they lurk around Target too.

I just politely wished her a good day and moved on.

When we returned home I coaxed Natalie to put on the dress I had bought her for Easter. She didn't actually get to wear it on Easter because it was 33 degrees and rainy.

I really wish Wyoming would hang out with Texas or something. Then Texas could be all, "See, during the Spring you're meant to get WARMER, Wyoming. Not colder."

Natalie, well, she goes through periods where she loves to get her picture taken.

These pictures clearly shows how she felt about it that day:

She kept pointed to the door and saying, "All done."

I kept trying to get her to smile. I sang Yo Gabba Gabba songs and she just stared at me.

So I started to make farting noises and that got her to sort of smile. Hey, I'm not above using potty humor to get my kids to smile. Of course in the middle of making loud sputtering noises my new neighbor walked out of his house. He made a horrified look in my direction and now I'm worried that he believed that I was actually farting...


Now he's probably thinking that he lives next door to someone with gas issues.


  1. so cute! My husband will not allow moon sand in the house, playdough is bad enough.

  2. Haha. No I really mean it. Haha! And I'm not even being sarcastic which is my first reaction too. (No sarcasm there)

    Oh woman, where have you been all my life? You make me giggle and smile and think that Utah totally needs to hook up with Texas. They'd make a nice couple I think.

    And I'm one of the non-moms who are like Gaga what? Don't hold it against me.

  3. Those pictures are sooo cute. And yeah, the weirdos are everywhere.

    I'm laughing so hard at the moon sand in your shoe and your tinted sock. Ahhh, toy manufacturers... who hates them more than mothers?

  4. She is a doll! My kids so want Bendaroos!
    Jack Black is pretty freakish! I don't know what to make of him.

    My sister sent me an email once that was a Wal-Mart bingo card. Have you seen it? Hysterical!

  5. Beautiful dress! Keep dressing her up while she will let you!! Good luck with the moon sand. I hope it doesn't stain. Is it from China???

  6. I will share my secret with you...we have a DVR. That solves the commercial problem. Mom records a few shows or we let it get 15 minutes ahead of them. I taught them to skip the commercials. Problem solved. No moon sand at this house. They still get the I want, I want, I wants but not quite as much!

  7. your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! and your posts made me laugh out loud! i found your blog through another's and was hoping to add you to my blogroll... i'd love to read more of your posts! :)

  8. Ha! Yo Gabba Gabba is totally freaky!! Especially the one that looks like a dildo or a dog toy or something... (yeah, cause those two things look similar).

    love this blog!!!!!

  9. Moon Sand! That crap gets everywhere! Ours was mysteriously "misplaced" after one use. Of course, I was cleaning it up for about a month.

    My kids want Bendaroos and Fun Slides which to me look like a good way to get a concussion.

  10. I love your sarcasm! Natalie is beautiful! My daughter was into Boobah and I thought I was going to rip my eyeballs out too!

  11. I don't know what was funnier. The dive bomb for the goofy toy, the crazed adult who ENJOYS the goofy toys or mysteriously farting neighbor. LOVE it! You need a camera crew to follow you around.

  12. What a precious girl! PS - coming over from SITS because your comment about the John Gossilin guy totally made me laugh out loud!

  13. Beautiful little one. What a face!
    My little one is not yet into Tv and I've never heard of YoGabbaGabba...
    Maybe i should be thankful.
    He tends to have attantion for about 2 seconds for Calliou...Thats about it.

  14. This is classic. And hilarious. I mourn your white socks... And I smile at your daughter chafing in her Easter finery... and... there's so MUCH in this post!

    LOVED it!

  15. Ugh, Yo Gabba Gabba. My kids heart that show with a capital heart. But the part that creeps me out? The one who will be 13 next week wanta a DJ Lance Rock hat/glasses combo. Um, no.
    Seriously, Texas might not be your best bet to be friends with Wyoming. It's 90 degrees this week, only a week and a half after Easter.
    Bendaroos: seems like they were called Wiki-sticks and we used to get them at the craft store.
    I totally get the response you get from your husband/strangers from your humor and sarcasm. I get the same reaction.
    I know I'm totally blog-stalking you. I. Can't. Help. Myself. This stuff is great. Like cocaine, but in a good way.


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