The Surprise Soup Party

“Remember to come to my Surprise Soup party!” Tommy reminded me as he left for school on Thursday.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I assured him.

I was a little worried though. Surprise Soup? What all was going to be in it? I pictured kids throwing in a bunch of random items and my stomach turned.

Maybe I’d just pass on the soup...

I had to take Natalie.

I put her in this:





When we first got to Tommy’s classroom, he wasn’t there yet. He was finishing up in the resource room where he gets one-on-one help with reading and math.

“Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy? TOMMY?” Natalie started to shriek as I led her to the child sized chairs that were set up. It actually smelled good in the room. Perhaps the soup was going to be good...and oh my God, were those BROWNIES? Thank goodness for junk food. I hate that schools are trying to go healthy and try to make it seem like carrots are a proper dessert. I’m here to say that they aren’t. Sorry.

“TOMMY!” Natalie kept calling.

The other kids in the class started to snicker.

Then Tommy walked in and Natalie practically fell out of her chair from excitement. She started pointing wildly in his direction.

“There’s Tommy. There he is. TOMMY!” Natalie rushed over and threw her arms around his waist.

Now, if this were a Hallmark movie Tommy probably would have hugged her back. But this is Real Life so Tommy just stood there with his hands pinned at his sides, looking rather embarrassed. It’s not that he doesn’t like his sister...he just feels that she’s too loud at times, which is ironic considering that Tommy also has a problem with volume.

“Hi Natalie,” he said in a bored done. He pulled free and set his reading material in his cubby.

A few other parents filtered in. Then the teacher announced that the guests were allowed to get their food first.

Awesome.

Standing in line with a two year old was not easy. Natalie wanted to wander off and explore and I’d remind her that we had to get some food.

“I no want food,” Natalie told me seriously.

This is not surprising. Natalie picks at her food and doesn’t seem at all thrilled with it. Did she really come from me? Who doesn’t get excited over brownies? I mean, did she not SEE the brownies?

I peeked in the giant bowl of soup and it appeared to be normal. Wait, what was that white thing? Oh, a potato. Okay.

Basically it was just vegetable soup.

Then we sat back down and the teacher said everyone else could get in line. I took a giant bite out of the brownie—mmmm—and then the teacher was all, “And we don’t eat until everyone is served.”

Wait.

What?

I stuffed the brownie chunk in the corner of my mouth and pretended that I hadn’t eaten a thing. I acted as though I were really interested in my napkin and surreptitiously swallowed the brownie down.

It seemed to take forever until everyone was served.

Finally, it seemed like we were able to eat.

I took another bite of brownie.

“Let’s not eat until we go around the room and say what we’re thankful for!” the teacher called out.

Sonofabitch!

I quickly chewed the brownie and swallowed it.

Most people said they were thankful for their family.

“Family.”

“Family.”

“My health.”

“Family.”

“Family.”

“I’m thankful that I get to see New Moon tonight!”

Seriously?

A few people chuckled and the woman beside me went, “OhmiGod, are you going to see that movie?” and I replied, “OhmiGod, not tonight!”

I may have insulted her. I didn’t mean to but there was no way I’d ever go see a movie like that on opening night. No way in heck.

I wanted to be silly and say that I was thankful for chocolate, but I didn’t want to appear to be coldhearted so I said, “My family.”

Tommy said, “My Mommy!”

(Aww!)

Natalie said, “Beans!” but only because she discovered a bean floating in the soup at that very moment.

Or maybe she is thankful for beans. Who knows with that child?

Then we were finally granted permission to eat.

The soup was actually good. Well, the few bites that I had. Natalie kept taking my spoon from me and I didn’t want to take it back, lest she did one of her famous screams. I didn’t want everyone staring at us. Then Tommy would have gotten humiliated and possibly could have had his own meltdown…

So I just let her have my spoon and ate the rest of the brownie.

Mmmmmm.

“I actually like this soup,” Tommy informed me. He’s a picky eater so this was surprising. Really? He liked the mystery soup but thinks that yams and pork chops taste “funky.” (His words, not mine.)

After we ate, that was it. The bell rang which signaled recess. Tommy threw his lunch away and put on his coat. He was about to run out—

“Um, excuse me? Would you like to say goodbye to the woman you said you were thankful for?” I called out before he darted from the room.

Tommy paused and sighed. “Oh Mommy,” he groaned, but gave me a hug anyway. He tried to run out again.

“BRUDDER, I WANT A HUG!” Natalie shouted.

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Here Natalie,” he said, and slung his arm loosely around her.

“Bye, Brudder!” Natalie said, waving.

So the Surprise Soup party was a success. I wasn’t poisoned by strange soup objects and Natalie didn’t throw a gigantic fit.

Always a plus, you see.