Thursday, December 3, 2009

Here Comes the Christmas Mail!

My Mom always sends a Christmas package.

It’s usually filled with a bunch of presents. We can usually open one each day.

A lot of the times the presents are things like Post-Its, pens, and trash bags.

Yes, trash bags.

Tom unwrapped that one before. He pulled out the trash bag box, frowned at it and then went, “Should I be insulted?”

“No. My Mom just sends us random things!” I reminded him.

He still didn’t get it. “Who sends trash bags?”

“My Mom!” I said cheerfully. I mean, that means we save four bucks, you know? Then I could use the four bucks on a hot chocolate from McDonalds instead of trash bags.

My Mom also has a sense of humor because she sent me this:

She knows Twilight frightens me.

I ended up giving it to the local Crazy (30-something) Twilight Chick. I saw her outside and went, “I have something for you.” When she saw the chocolate, she screeched. I immediately cringed. Why do girls have to screech when they get excited? It damages my ear drums. Why can’t they just go, “Woohoo!” like I do?

“You’ve joined us!” she shouted while bouncing up and down.


“I’ve joined who?” I was confused.

“Us. The Twilighters! Welcome!”

“Wait, I think you’re mistaken. My Mom sent me this and—”

“Welcome, welcome! What team are you on?”


Sometimes speaking to her is like speaking in an entirely different language.

“Just…the chocolate is for you. Have a nice day,” I said and headed for the safety of my home.

Natalie opened one of Mom’s presents for me.

I got star Post-Its! Neat.

Tom was all, “Your Mom is weird.”

I hugged the Post-Its to my chest. “They’re stars for me. You know, because my middle name is Star.” (I’m not kidding. Mom talks about having wanted to name me Sky Blue if I were a boy. I seriously hope she was joking.)

Anyway, I love the holidays. I actually get good mail this month!


  1. Aww! I LOVE getting random packages from my mom! She sends weird things, too, but really, NO ONE ELSE on the whole darn earth surprises me with packages of candy cane cocoa and socks with strange sayings on them! Makes me feel special.

    Love the expression the cat is giving the weird packages! lol

  2. I am so jealous of the random gifts! I would love if someone sent me garbage bags because I have forgotten them the last 4 trips to the store!

  3. hahaa! so what team are you on then? lol...i love random gifts!! those are the best!!

  4. I'm bummed. You should have sent the Twilight stuff to ME!!!!!

    Just kidding. Sortof.

    I think your Mom rocks and random is wonderful!!! Happy Mail!

  5. Your Twilight neighbor cracks me up. So glad she lives near you and not me!

    And trashbags...bahahaha!

  6. That is so much fun! I love that you open one a day. That just makes it last so much longer!

  7. I don't get that excited about anything.

    I mean, I love pie more than just about anything in this world, but if someone were to just hand me one for no reason, first I'd be suspicious, then touched and I might shed a tear in gratitude... but only if it's strawberry rhubarb with a homemade crust.

  8. You turned down chocolate because it had a picture of Taylor Lautner on it? :D

  9. K can I please borrow your mom for like one day?
    Not for the gifts.
    Or trash bags.

    For the mommyness...

    Good for you Amber!

  10. My mom used to wrap up little random gifts "so the kids will have more to open." I started doing the same for my hubby, since he always had fewer packages to open. (By now we are usually pretty even.) Never thought of trash bags!

  11. Crazy Twilight Lady cracks me up. How would she think that you'd be joining them if you were GIVING merchandise away? Makes no sense to me. . . anyway, I'd have kept the chocolate, regardless of the image on it. Mmmmm. Chocolate!

    Your mom rocks my socks. I want a box of random presents! I'd be down with trash-bags, too!

  12. Random is fun plus it's the thought that counts!

  13. i love the holidays too..

    you never know what may be coming your way!!!!

  14. I love your mom for sending the cool goodies! Also, she raised a fabulous daughter!

    Hooray for the Post-Its! (You're a real star, Star!)

  15. I think that's very cool. It's the kind of thing I want to do for my daughter when she goes away for college in a year and a half (oh-my-gosh-how-can-it-be-only-a-year-and-a-half??)--send her monthly packages of fun little random stuff, just for fun. She'll lovingly call me a dork, but will say she means it in a good way, since she's a dork, too.

  16. Your middle name is Star?! That's so effing awesome! At my last job I had an employee who named his kids River, Summer, and Storm.

  17. Reading your post made me more home sick!

  18. I have an aunt who gives us post-it notes and pens every Christmas. I honestly can't remember the last time I've ever had to buy pens thanks to her! Practical gets me every time!

  19. Your mom rocks!

    My grandma has started giving "goodie bags" to the women in the family at Christmas that include trash bags, freezer bags, and sandwich bag (and then a couple other random household items). Its nice because those are always the items I forget at the store!

  20. Oooh! Good mail!!

    Umm.. I need to send you a sign to put up in your front lawn that says, "Don't Feed The Twihards" - you encouraged them to come back for a second feeding doing what ya did. :)

    When your Mom sends you box full of Mutt Mitts - I'll be officially in love with her.

  21. I get christmas cards thats about it :( It's ok i guess haha! My mom don't live to far from me so she sends me nothing. Shoot you could have sent me the chocolate haha i would have ate it!!!

  22. I LOVE packages, but not SUPER sure about the trash bags. I do see the value of saving the money for something like hot chocolate, though. Are you glad you're not a boy? Who knew your Mom was so um, creative :) Glad you got something fun. It's the most wonderful time of the year!!

  23. Seriously WW, does your neighbour have some kind of mental problem?

    "What team are you on?"

    What feckin planet are you on love?

    Its like Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

    Join Us...........

  24. Love the good mail!

    And, those are the good types of things to open.

  25. That's awesome!! Your mom sounds hilarious...can't wait to see what other goodies she sent you!

  26. Your Mum sounds like a legend. Oh, and I'm on team chocolate.

  27. Your mom sounds very very cool.

    Your neighbor on the other hand.


    I'm on team "i could give a rat's ass" about that movie.

    Here's to some more happy mail!


  28. Your mom is AWESOME! I love mail....and mail with gifts is even better. Even star shaped post it notes would make my day! you are so lucky! enjoy!!!

  29. Wait, the New Moon stuff was CHOCOLATE? I would've eaten it. Then maybe given the neighbor the bag... Just sayin'.

    LOVE that your middle name is Star!!!

  30. Random gifts are AWESOME...and even better when they are useful!! Your mom ROCKS!


  31. Wow your mom is awesome! I love the idea of Random gifts, probably something I should start to do with my kids!

    Im team Edward, but honestly.. I can give it a whooohoooo and not a Screech!

  32. My Mama gives me practical things like that too which I so appreciate except I draw the line on the Christmas granny panties.

  33. Awww I think its cute that your mom sends that kind of stuff!

  34. My mom never sends weird things, she just wraps things in odd boxes, like a hamburger helper box might have a scarf or some socks in it. Picture my thirteenth bday party. Coed. I unwrap a gift to find a tampon box. Mortified, I yell over the awkward giggling, "that's not what this is". And open the box to find...a training bra. Kill. Me. Now. True Story. Explains alot, no?

    I want some random mail,

  35. Your middle name is Star? How much fun is that?

    I'm laughing at the garbage bags...

  36. Random gifts are awesome!! But garbage bags?? LOL this cracked me up...your mom is so fun. :)

  37. Hey woman, I bestowed an award on you this morning! Come see!

  38. I like Amber Star! That sounds pretty! I used to work at a hotel and we had a guest named Amber Rose. First name Amber, last name Rose. I thought it was so neat! I want to name my child something like that, or make their initials spell something like CAR.

  39. I love those random things!!! I even do it myself. I give my mom and my sister a "stocking package" which, if they all could fit in a stocking, I would have given it to them that way but as it is, I use boxes. Nail files, nail polish removers, pens, post-its (I got flower shaped ones one year and theyre so pretty!) postage stamps, hair scrunchies, toothpaste, yadda yadda... it's freaking awesome!! :)

  40. The other night i dreamt I met this guy and we were talking and lalala, he was hot, etc, etc. Everything's going along fine until some chippie comes up to him, screaming like a teenybopper. I said, "What is her problem?" And he said, "You really don't know? I'm so and so from Twilight." That's when I screamed and realized I was in a nightmare.

  41. I have to laugh b/c my mom gives toiletries in our stockings and my husband was confused when he got deodorant in his the first year!! :)

  42. Man, reading things like this makes me miss my mom. :( But this is about you, not me. Your mom is awesome! And reminds me of how mine was. I LOVE getting utilitarian gifts, it's the best.

  43. Getting mail is awesome and so is your mom.

  44. Did you ever think of making a porn? Cause you have a great porn name - Amber Star! Seriously!

    Who doesn't like receiving packages in the mail, especially ones filled with mystery items from Mom!

    Um, aren't you supposed to wait till Christmas to open the presents?

  45. Awww, that brought back memories. My mom used to send us random stuff too. One year we all got boxes of our favorite cereal (mine was Lucky Charms) and some really ugly slippers she had knitted - I mean like put a bag over your feet ugly! And she always had a special oddball gift for each family. One year it was bang-twisters (screwdriver/hammer combo), one year it was hand-held colanders (kind of like a tennis racket you strain spaghetti through). I really miss these silly things now that she's gone.

    The best one was the scissor holster. I still have mine, plus I snitched hers off the fridge before we sold the house. It's a magnetic holder that goes on your fridge to hold a pair of kitchen shears. Ten years and counting and I still use it every day. Crazy Mom's like ours rock!

  46. that is the sweetest thing I have heard in ages. Your mom sounds awesome. Just think as she is doing all the wrapping and you are doing all the unwrapping the two of you are thinking of each other. That is sooo sweet!


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