Monday, December 28, 2009

The Santa Freak Out

**Written Tuesday morning, before we knew we had to go to the Denver Children’s Hospital**

For starters, thank you so much for the well wishes for Natalie. She seems to be doing okay.

Some people asked how she got the abscess in the first place. The answer? I’m not sure. The doctor told me that they just form sometimes. I still feel awful and have been letting Natalie watch extra episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba. I’m somewhat traumatized but she’s happy so it’s all good.

Anyhow, I brought the kids to see Santa yesterday. Pictures with Santa are a total rip off. The cheapest package was $17. You weren’t allowed to take your own photos. One lady whipped out her camera and the photographer nearly had a heart attack.

“You can’t take photos over here!” she yelped at the baffled mother.

Natalie immediately started to cling to my leg the second we got in line. The entire way there she had been singing, “I sit on Santa’s lap!” and the second she set eyes on the big guy, she began to clam up.

“It’s okay, Natalie. Santa is nice. Don’t you want to sit on Santa’s lap?” I asked gently.

Natalie shook her head. “No thanks.”

I figured when it was our turn that she might change her mind. But no. When Santa motioned for us to come over, Natalie refused to budge.

“NO THANKS! I NO YIKE SANTA! NO THANKS!” she screamed. I picked her up and she wrapped her hands around my neck and tried to climb onto my head. At least I think this is what she was doing. Maybe she was just kicking me. I don’t know.

Tommy easily went over to Santa. “Good morning,” Tommy said primly as he settled on Santa’s lap.

“Good morning,” Santa answered. I really wish Santa had a real beard. The fake ones look so…well, fake. “What do you want for Christmas?”

Tommy tapped his chin a few times while his sister started to choke me.

“Natalie….Mommy can’t breathe,” I gasped.

“I NO YIKE SANTA!” Natalie yelled right into my ear.

“I want fun slides, a sled, and a puppy,” Tommy said.


First of all, he’s been asking for Megatron, Monster Jam trucks, and remote control car. We got all of that for him by the way. Why did he all of a sudden change his list? He can’t change his list like that! He won’t be getting fun slides, a sled, OR a puppy.

I must have looked panicked because Santa said, “I’ll try my very best but if you don’t get those things, it doesn’t mean Santa loves you any less, okay?”

Tommy seemed a bit let down. “Okay,” he sighed.

“Have you been a good boy this year?” Santa inquired.

Tommy hesitated and then went, “Well, I sort of cut my hair yesterday and Mommy got mad.”

This is true. He did cut his hair. I went in to get him in the morning and I realized he was missing a few inches of his bangs.

“Tommy!” I had shouted. “What happened to your hair?”

Tommy grinned. “I cut it myself! Do you like it?”

I mean, what should I have said? Should I have lied and gone, “Yes, it’s fab!” I know all the experts say to praise your child but I don’t think they meant praise your child when he’s cut his own hair and now has a hairstyle like Lady Gaga.

Santa seemed amused over the story. “You cut your own hair? Well, you probably shouldn’t do that again. Scissors are dangerous.”

Tommy wrinkled his nose. “I’m seven! I’m allowed to play with scissors now. So long as I don’t run with them.”

Santa seemed at a loss for a few seconds and then he went, “You have a Merry Christmas!” Then he turned to Natalie, who was still clawing me. “Hi sweetie. Do you want to come say hello?”

“NOOOO! I NO YIKE SANTA!” Natalie sniffled.

“That’s okay. Santa will still bring you some toys,” Santa called out. He seemed thankful that I wasn’t bringing her over.

I paid for Tommy’s overpriced picture—“does this come with a gift card to Gymboree?” I joked as I handed the woman a twenty and she just stared at me blankly. What? For that price, it should come with a gift card to Gymboree.

As soon as we were at a safe distance from Santa, Natalie unclenched her hands from my hair.

It’s a shame that she didn’t take a picture with Santa. She had on a cute outfit too:

Oh well.

Maybe next year?


  1. Yikes.. I keep telling you - YOU could be a professional photographer - and of kids too - Natalie looks so cute!

    Hmm... so... no puppy??


  2. Sigh. At least you got another good blog story out of your Santa visit. And you took great pix of Natalie in her cute outfit!

  3. i hope natalie is doing better!! i just went and read all about her little hospital visit!:(
    i hope you all still got to have a great christmas together!!
    the pics are too cute! the last one of nat is adorable!! love it!

  4. I laughed at the thought of her climbing up you screaming! By the way if you ever feel like she has to many clothes I will happily buy them from you!! I have a huge gymbo addiction as well. =)

  5. I agree. The fake beard looks fake.

    {BTW, we paid $37 for the "package" of pics. What a rip off.}

  6. Adorable outfit. My son never would sit on Santa's lap without screaming. I have many pictures of him wailing in the arms of Santa. I bet Santa didn't like me much for forcing it. :)

  7. My son loves Santa, just does not like being touched by him. It seems like all the kids his age hate Santa right now. We got some great stink eye pictures as well. Glad your daughter is doing better.

    New to your blog! Come on over and see mine and follow if you would ike. Nice to "meet" you!!!

  8. Your kids are adorable! I have to know where you got Natalies outfit. So cute! I love it!

  9. Poor Nat. Poor Amber. I have been climbed before too. It's no fun. At least you got a picture of one kid with Santa. One out of two aint bad. And at least Natalie's polite. "NO THANKS"!


  10. We were playing Apples to Apples the other day, and someone put "Santa's lap" when the green card was soggy. I almost peed my pants because I was laughing so hard.
    Poor Santa.

  11. We saw a Santa at our Beach outing. He looked real. Like really really real. It was awesome. My kids just waved at him though. I'm okay with them not sitting on a strangers lap.

    Natalie sounds like a lot of fun and I sometimes hear your exasperation in your posts. As my Grandma tells me, "It is good she knows her mind. It will help her through life." It's hard on us momma's sometimes though.

  12. I love when they change their mind at the last minute. I have come to the conclusion that it is their way of testing us.

  13. I actually love pictures of the kids screaming on Santa's lap. I don't know why I get kicks out of it. Natalie and Tommy both are just beautiful!

  14. Oh. My. Goodness!!! She is SUCH a cutie!!

    Don't worry about the bangs can barely tell ;)


  15. I'd rather have the cute pics of Natalie in her cute outfit than with santa claus crapping it up. ;o)

  16. I no yike Santa's with fake beards either!

    I'm happy to hear Natalie is feeling well enough to kick and scream at Santa.

    Go Natalie!

    BTW-Because of you I am now addicted to Gymboree and my 5 year-old has the entire collection of pink cheetah print clothes. Really, can a girl have too much pink cheetah print?

  17. I find bits of blond hair all over my house. "Did you cut your hair again!?!?" I shriek at my 4 year old. "Nooo..." she stammers (through her layers of bangs in various stages of regrowth). "Did you cut BARBIE'S hair again?!?" I shriek instead. "ummmm..."

    Scissors are like crack to my kid.

  18. Both kids look fabulous. I'm so glad Natalie is doing better.

  19. That's not a bad Santa photo. Would have been nice to get the two of them on his lap but hey, maybe next year, right?

  20. maybe one of these days she'll go to santa!!!

    so glad that she is doing much better...

  21. She is adorable! And that convo on Santa's lap is priceless:)

  22. Shes cuter not sitting on Santas lap anyway!

  23. Your kids are a riot. I laugh at every single story you tell of them. Except when poor Natalie was being tortured in the hospital of course. Poor baby. I hope she is getting better !

  24. Think about it. We warn our kids to stay away from strangers, then we want them to sit on a stranger's lap? And one that dresses in all red? Seriously? No wonder Natalie doesn't YIKE Santa!

    You have the cutest kids!

  25. we love to laugh at raegans screaming santa picture. she had no idea why we were there, suddenly she was in his lap and i said "take it" i have a screaming santa pic of my own from my childhood, priceless... next time sneak attack nat! glad shes feeling better. and tommy's hair cut could have been worse, not bad kid.

  26. it is totally lame that you have to pay to have your picture taken with Santa. I didn't take the two year old as he would have not liked it AT ALL>

  27. My son did that last year- completely changed what he wanted from Santa at the last minute.

    Your little girl is a doll!

  28. Sweet pictures!! My girls always like Santa... I was not sure I liked the fact they would go up to a stranger so easily.

  29. Wow, your kids are pretty! (Yes, I called your son pretty. Is beautiful better?) They could be models.

  30. I never got the babies to see Santa :( Darn it

    Sorry Tommy cut his hair.. lol...


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