Wednesday, April 21, 2010

In Which I Stink At Bowling

We went bowling over the weekend.

It looks like someone needs to teach Tommy about good sportsmanship.

He was ticked because he didn’t get a strike like Tom did. I said, “Kid, look, you knocked all but one pin down. That’s good!”

He was all, “It’s not good enough,” and pouted in his chair.

Gee, I wonder where he gets that behavior from?


Have I mentioned that Tom owns his own bowling ball and shoes? Well, he does. He used to be really into bowling. I find it amusing that he even has a special cloth to wipe down his ball after each use. He also has these shoe cover things to cover the bottom of his shoes.

I mocked him for that, too.

He was all, “What, the covers are so gross stuff don’t get on the bottom of them. Stuff can throw my balance off and I won’t be able to throw the ball well.”

Um. Okay. Psycho.

Kidding, kidding.

I use the bowling alley shoes and the bowling alley balls. I found a pretty pink one and thought that she and I would make a good team.

We didn’t.

Make a good team, that is.

Because during my first two turns I got NOTHING. My ball kept rolling in the gutter.

“Do I need to put the bumpers up for you?” Smart Ass Tom called out.

I’d have given him the finger if the children hadn’t been around.

Natalie seemed to like bowling.

It was her first time so she didn’t really get the concept at first. When she rolled the ball down she was all, “Where da ball going?”

She soon got into the game and started to do a happy dance after each turn.

And Tom?

Well, he takes his game seriously. He’d march up there all determined and put on his special bowling gloves.

Yes. He also has bowling gloves.

Then he’d do this fancy move and hurl the ball down the lane.

When he’d finish with his turn he’d polish his ball down and put on his shoe covers. This is why there aren’t any photos of me. I asked him to take a photo of me but he was too busy messing with his ball (ha!) or his shoes.

Towards the end I debated hiding his shoe covers to see if he’d flip out.

I didn’t though.

Because I fear he would have flipped out. Heaven forbid something gets on the bottom of his bowling shoes.

In the end, we all had fun. Tommy did have a small meltdown because he didn’t understand why I got to have an extra turn. See, I got a spare on my last frame which meant I got to go again. I always forget this so I sat back down and Tom was all, “Go!” and I was all, “WTF, it’s not my turn, Tom. Duh.” And then he explained the rules to me.


So yeah, Tommy was all, “Why do you get to go again, that’s not fair,” and had an Asperger flare up. I calmly explained what happened and he took a few deep breaths and was able to calm himself down.

Until Natalie got a strike and got to go again.

Then he was all, “SHE gets to go again too?” So I was praying that he’d get a spare and get to go again.

He didn’t.

So of course he pouted all over again so I had Tom explain the rules and Tom did and added, “Toughen up, okay?” Naturally this made me irritated with Tom because I had to re-explain Aspergers to him. I feel like I have to explain Tommy’s behavior on a weekly basis to Tom. He just doesn’t get it.

Other than that, it was an enjoyable evening.

I sucked, as you can tell (I'm A):

Tom’s score is covered but he got a 114. He was all, “That’s not good enough.”

Dude. I’d be thrilled with anything over 100.

But I guess he’s used to scores near the 200s or something.

Well, la-di-dah, Tom.


  1. Looks like a great time! We love to bowl, but we all suck, so it's all good. Tommy did really well! Maybe do the bumpers next time though...for you, you know. ;) :D

  2. I miss big ball bowling. When my husband and I first got married we were in a league. It was so much fun. I however scored right around the same score as you, but it was still fun.

  3. I cannot bowl to save my life and down here in the South it is a sport with a huge following!

    Did play a few times and if the ball does not end up in the gutter I manage to get a strike. Nothing in between!

  4. Shoe covers? Now I've heard it all.

  5. Hey, I am happy with a score over 50, so Tom? Quiet! My husband gets the same way. They have a thing that tells you how fast you threw the ball, so he spends the entire time comparing speeds. Dork.

  6. I haven't been bowling in about 15 years. My husband refuses to go. From what I remember, though, I was pretty horrible.

  7. I totally miss when my kids were little and I had an excuse to use the bumpers.

  8. I am an awful bowler! Randy is good... I seriously suck. He too has his own ball and gloves... His ball is pink and smells like bubblegum. I kid you not! I don't like bowling because as much as I try to do, I still suck. It frustrates me.

  9. Honey when you said he had his own bowling shoes I was thinking "nerd!" (j/k) But you didn't mention that they were black and white checkered bowling shoes!!! I mean...who doesn't look cool in black and white checkered bowling shoes? Lmao!! Sorry...couldn't resist!!

  10. Haven't been bowling in years, but a 114 with his own ball, gloves and shoes? Come on Tom, no excuses.
    I love those bumpers - never seen them before, but I sure could use them (how come you didn't?)

  11. Let me just say, that your score is better than mine. And I am totally not kidding.

  12. I seriously need to get some sprayed down shoes on my kids and teach them how to play. When I was in high school you could actually take bowling as a PE class. Saved me from the horrors of volleyball.

  13. those don't look like tacky bowling shoes on Tom's feet to me!

  14. You bowl about like I do! I think my high score is 69.


    No joke this time


  15. Oh, bowling! I love to bowl, but I'm terrible, too. Most of the time, anyway. Sometimes I'll bowl a game of almost all gutter balls, and the next game will have spares and strikes up the wazoo. Too bad I can't control my bowling prowess (or lack thereof)!

  16. I think bowling is fun, but like most things, it's more fun when you're doing well!

    Tom really takes this stuff seriously, I can see! It looks like a fun family outing.

  17. Whenever I take Jakob bowling I let him bowl for me a couple rounds to take the competition out of it. I try to avoid Aspie meltdowns at all cost.

  18. I can't go bowling with my husband, anymore. He freaks out and gets mad that his shoes don't work right. It's bad.

  19. Ahhh, bowling. I love to bowl and suck at it just as much! However, considering my husband threw his back out last weekend bowling, I suppose I won't be going bowling for a while.

  20. It looks like fun but I'm so bad at it. Tom cracks me up. My ex-husband gave me a bowling ball for our anniversary one year. Uh huh. That went over like, well, a bowling ball.

  21. We always bowl with the bumpers. Always.

    Ya know for the kids.....

    Certainly not cause I suck.

  22. I have discovered that my bowling rapidly improves with beer consumption.

    I also am one of those loser adults who ends up using bumpers--much to the humiliation of my husband.

  23. I've ALWAYS sucked at bowling. I get cramps in my butt checks when I bowl. I don't know if I clench them because I'm nervous or what! I much prefer bumper bowling! Or Wii bowling!

    Shoe covers? Seriously?

  24. WOW!!! for real.. shoe covers.. just wow!!!

    looove natalies little happy dance!

    personally.. i don't like bowling.. at all.. though probably b/c i stink at it.. lol

  25. Next Tuesday you need to add that "it's okay to suck at bowling and be married to someone with his own shoes."

  26. Ah bowling . . . I can't bowl worth a crap and my fingers usually end up hurting afterward so I just stick the beer portion of the game. :)

  27. I am a bowling dork and not afraid to admit it. I too have my own BALLS,shoes,wipedown towel and shoe covers. My bowling bag is ON WHEELS and there is a menagerie of crap the one must have if they are serious about bowling.

    However I do not know any bowler that puts their shoe covers on EVERY time they come off the lane. They are used for restroom visits(icky,gross). Tom is carrying that one a little too far.:)

    p.s. bowling is a really great exercise for the glutes and abs. You would be surprised at the muscles you did not know you had.

    Thanks for sharing your bowling adventure.

  28. That is fun Tom has a special outfit for bowling. Next time he hassels you about getting ready you need to remind him of his bowling outfit.

    (BTW- I am currently reading "Look Me in the Eye: My life with asperger's" by John Elder Robinson. I definitely recommend it)

  29. You have such a fun way of writing! I just love it! I too SUCK big time at bowling and do not plan on doing well. I don't think I've ever broken 100... Your poor boy, I bet he was so frustrated with the turns... It's hard when your a kid!! :)

    But I'm an adult and there are still time that I want to freak out and scream about how life just isn't fair!

  30. True confessions time. I spent WAY too much of my early life in bowling alleys, and I also have my own ball. I still don't consider it a sport, because when I used to bowl, there were waitresses to bring you drinks and people kept ashtrays on the scoring table.

  31. The shoe covers sound like something my husband would have done once upon a time. And 114 does suck if he's that into the game. Maybe it's time to put away all the gear!! :)

  32. 114 really sucks for a ball and shoes and shoe covers and special rag toting guy.

    :) Umm.. but Natalie got a strike? in her very first game? Her score looks impressive... she might have a career in it.

  33. Shoe covers? Seriously?!

  34. The important thing is you had a good time! I prefer Wii bowling because you don't have to use those stinky bowling alley shoes. But bowling alleys usually have good food too.

    I'd watch Natalie, she seems like a quick learner!


  35. I am a horrible bowler! Horrible! I'm dreading summer a little bit because when the school year ends, the school teams up with the bowling alley and gives students a pass for one free game a day over vacation and the boys always want to go. I can NEVER break a 70. Ever. I even suck at Wii bowling. The kids had to school me on how to move my Mii so I could improve, but that didn't even help. Neither did practicing when they aren't around (aka - just trying to get MY time on the Wii), but I still suck.

  36. We had a surprise party for our 10 yr old at a bowling ally and we invited a family friend who said, "I won't bowl. I will get too upset" He was "too good" to participate. Umm ok.

    I suck at bowling and am proud of it!

  37. I know exactly what you mean about the "psycho.." Kidding!

    That word pops into my head over here more times than I can count, and that's on a daily basis.

    I have the same kind of little man, too.

    Sweet post.

  38. Jeez, Tom. It's bowling with the family. Lighten up.

    Poor Tommy. I never get to go an extra turn either.

  39. Shoe covers? Dude. You totally married a bowling nerd.

    But a cute one! Sorry, Tom!

  40. I suck at bowling too! Tom is way to "bowling fancy"! LOL

  41. heehee. looks like fun for the whole family! Personally, I HATE bowling... but I've been thinking that I really have to take my munchkin, I bet she'd do happy dances, too! Cute play-by-play!

  42. In NH we have candlepins but my husband is from WI so I get Tom's horror at his score. Candlepins are really easy to toss across multiple lanes without even trying. I once got a spare that way.

  43. bah. i wrote this comment that ended up being more like a freaking note and was about to submit it when i realized i was logged in under a different email.

    so...i'm with you on the being thrilled with anything over a hundred. i hate bowling, because i don't think i've ever seen triple digits next to my name. every now and then, though, there comes a point where i say screw it, which is really nice, and i have fun with it then, but it never lasts long. kind of like when i play pool. only i'm usually drunk when i play pool, and the screw it mentality lasts a lot longer. i've never bowled while drunk. maybe i should try that.

    you should pawn tom's stuff.

  44. Tom is wearing some pretty fancy kicks. I kinda like them alot. I'd wear them everyday.

  45. Very good evening with the family!

  46. Bowling is so funny because we all stink at it. My hubs isnt really any better than any of the rest of us and it provides endless entertainment

  47. I love to bowl but totally suck at it. I usually score in the 60's and that's with the bumpers! *sigh*

    Maybe if I has some fancy bowling accessories like Toms I could improve my score.

    BTW-you should totally call Tom's bowling stuff "accessories" see if he doens't put them on eBay!

  48. I can bowl a 114, no problem. You just have to add together the scores from three of my games. That usually equals somewhere near 114.

  49. We keep telling the kids we are going to take them bowling. Brad is raring to go. Em just went last weekend with the Girl Scouts and had a blast!

  50. Oh we used to love bowling as a family... we need to do that again soon.

  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

  52. Loved reading your bowling story.

    We too, took the kids bowling this past Sunday and just like your little one my youngest didn't quite get it the first few times I think he liked hearing the BOOM from throwing the ball like a football down the lane ;)


  53. Every time I go bowling, I somehow manage to rip my thumb nail off. I've never understood how this happens.

    Oh, and I suck something awful.

    Wait, bowling gloves? That has to be made up.

  54. Tommy is all right and quite a bit like me...I was quite competitive in my childhood days too...that's ok!

  55. So Natalie beat you eh? Note the Canadian coming out in me there.

    I posted a couple of days ago about how we went bowling this weekend too, or I should say the kids got to bowl. I got to drink coffee and plug my ears from all the racket the next lane over. All in all, the kids and I still managed to have a good time--there was cake.

    I loved hearing about your family day out.


  56. Crikey! I came over to say thanks for commenting on my post about MasterSix's award. Thanks!

  57. I simply refuse to go bowling!!! I hate it! And I suck at it!!

    Everyone else in my family loves to go, so I tell them to just GO! And I'll stay home and enjoy the quiet!!

    My husband is a bad sport too. LOL!

  58. cheer up... i always end up with 50s & 60s, too. some of us are just not made for bowling.

    by the way - Natalie got a 93???

  59. Sounds like Tom is serious about his bowling. Too funny!

    I do much better at Wii Bowling that I do with real bowling. In real life bowling I suck. I could probably make you look good! ;)

  60. I am glad I am not alone in the sucks at bowling category. Loved the story.

  61. My husband had bowling shoes but we finally tossed then since I hadn't seen him bowl in 29 years of marriage..

    I have to bowl again soon.


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