We Don't Travel Well.....

"Look Tom," I said, nudging his arm. "A couple who actually like each other when they travel." I nodded my chin towards a couple who were cuddling and laughing over an article in a magazine.

"God, what's wrong with them?" Tom wondered and we shared a smile.

Here's the thing: we don't travel well together. It's why I know we could never be on The Amazing Race. We'd constantly snap at each other and then articles would be written up saying that we were in an abusive relationship. It's happened to other couples on The Amazing Race where the man or the woman barks at their partner constantly. "Obviously it's an unhappy relationship," bloggers will gossip and I always want to say, "No, they probably just don't travel well together."

Our bickering always starts at airport security. I'll snap at Tom because he's moving too quickly and he'll retort that I need to pick up the pace.

"I'm dealing with two children, you ass," I'll say. I know, I know, name calling is not proper, all the experts will say it and Dr. Phil would most likely faint if he listened into my conversations with Tom while we're at an airport.

Then after airport security he'll sigh as I gather all my things from the conveyer belt. I'm anal and sometimes think that the X-Rays will cause our airplane tickets to disappear so I always have to go through my bag and make sure they're still there. Tom sighs as he stands above me, waiting, and will say something like, "The tickets are there, okay?"

"I'm just checking, don't rush me!"

He also has a habit of walking quickly and I trail behind. Or sometimes it's me who is walking quickly and he's behind.

"It would be nice," Tom said as we walked through the Denver Airport, "if you'd wait up for me."

"No thank you," I'll answer.

When we get to our gate neither of us likes where the other choses to sit. Like I sat down at Denver and Tom blinked at me and went, "This is where we're sitting?"

"No, I just sat here for no reason," I replied.

Another time Tom settled down somewhere and I said, "Can we move closer to our gate?" and Tom went, "No one is stopping you, sweetheart."

By the time we've gotten on the plane we're ready to throttle each other. It drives me crazy how Tom sighs and looks irritated when I ask him to pull something out from his backpack.

"Can I get the DVD player?" I asked him.

"Ugh, fine." He acted as though it were this huge feat to bend down and pull out the DVD player.

Heaven forbid if I ask for something an hour later.

"Did we just DO this?" Tom will grumble and I'll want to throw the airplane peanuts at his bald head.

Lucky for us, we make up by the time we land. One of us will poke the other's arm or leg right before we make it to our destination....this time, as we were about to land in San Antonio, Tom pressed his finger into my arm and made a goofy face and all was well again.

Of course sometimes when we pick up our baggage the bickering starts again.

"What baggage carousel are we?" Tom will ask and I'll shrug and go, "Not sure yet, we have to wait for our flight to come up on the screens," and Tom will take offense that I'm not psychic and I'll call him an inconsiderate prick.

But then by the time we make it to our final destination, all is forgiven again.

We fly back home on the 29th.

Wonder who will snap first?

And tomorrow we get to the beach. No Wifi. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm told you can get a connection in the lobby but who knows how often I can do that with two kids running around.

I'm hoping to be surprised and have Wifi in the room.

Because hi, I'm Amber, and I'm addicted to the Internet.

(Hi Amber.)