Monday, November 22, 2010

But I Love Her!

I gripped the coupons in my hand excitedly as we headed inside Target. I was all set to score some good deals. Finding good deals is like a high for me. And it turns out, Target was having a pre-Black Friday sale, complete with awesome coupons that were found in the Sunday paper. One of the coupons was 50% off any Disney princess toy—and Natalie loves Disney princess toys so I knew that would make a good Christmas present. Another coupon was money off a Lego set—which is perfect, because Tommy adores Legos.

The only problem was, would anything be left? I didn’t stand outside waiting for the Target to open at 8 like some people said they were going to do. No way. I move slowly on Sundays. So by the time we got there, it was a little after 9.

The parking lot wasn’t full so that gave me hope. But…but…a woman walked out of the store with two gigantic bags. Did she take all the deals? What if she took all the deals and there was nothing left? What if there was nothing left?

“Come on kids, we have to hurry,” I said dramatically. I had Natalie on my hip and hurried and stuck her into the cart. I started to head for the toy section.

“Mommy,” Natalie said. “I have to pee.”

Oh no. Seriously? Remember how I wrote how Natalie had to pee everywhere we went? Well, she still does that.

“We need to get to the toy section or they might be nothing left,” I said seriously. “No princess stuff. Nothing.”

Natalie didn’t care. “I have to pee.”

Tommy groaned. “Oh, Natalie.”

Off to the bathroom we went. My heart was thumping with anticipation. Would there be any toys left? I mean, if there weren’t, who cares right? Natalie wouldn’t die if she didn’t get a Disney Princess toy for 50% off. But it was FIFTY PERCENT off. That was an excellent deal!

“This is disgusting,” Tommy complained. “I’m not going in the girl bathroom.”

“You have to. Someone could swipe you,” I said.

“I’m not going in the girl bathroom!” Tommy crossed his arms over his chest.

I sighed. “Fine. Don’t move and if someone tries to take you, scream. If someone asks if you want to see a puppy in his car, you scream. If someone asks if you want to become an actor and tries to hand you their card, you scream.”

Tommy rolled his eyes, resembling a teenager. “I know not to go off with a stranger.”

So I went in with Natalie. I told her she had to hurry, so her brother didn’t get kidnapped.

She didn’t care. She took her time, sitting on the toilet that was probably covered in germs.

“Hurry up, Natalie. I don’t want your brother to get kidnapped,” I said frantically.

“I’m peeing,” Natalie answered even though she wasn’t.

Ten minutes later she was done. I hurried out and Tommy was where we had left him, slumped against the wall, irritated.

“That took forever,” he said.

Tell me about it, son.

Back in the cart Natalie went. I rushed into the toy section and…

….there was a lot of stuff left!

I showed Natalie a Rapunzel doll from that movie Tangled and Natalie started to reach for it...but then she spotted a My Size Rapunzel doll and grabbed for that.

“I want this,” she said.

I frowned. “That’s too big. This doll is the perfect size. She fits in your toy chest and everything!”

Natalie hugged the My Size Rapunzel box. “I want this. I love her.”

“Natalie, you don’t understand, that My Size doll will scare Mommy at night. It’ll be standing there in the corner, I’ll think it’s a ghost and I’ll scream.”

“I LOVE HER!” Natalie didn’t care that her doll could give me a potential heart attack. Rude.

“Can we look at Legos now?” Tommy asked, shuffling his feet impatiently. “This is all girl stuff.”

“Are you sure you don’t want the perfect size Rapunzel?” I tried one last time.

“I.LOVE.HER!” Natalie said, nodding at the My Size Rapunzel box.

So fine. She got the My Size Rapunzel doll (ended up being only $25 with the coupon), Tommy picked out a Lego set, and I also got the Nintendo DSi since it was on sale for $119, the lowest I had seen it. Tommy has a DS now, and the kids fight over it to the point where I want to hurl it out the window and scream, “You see? Now NO ONE has a DS. Are you happy?”

It was a successful trip. But as we stepped out of Target, my stomach growled. I checked the time. Nearly 10, most places weren’t open yet. IHOP was though. Granted, IHOP on Sundays is a scary place indeed. Still…pancakes sounded good. So I brought it up to the kids, who clapped and said that yes, pancakes sounded good to them too.

The second we stepped into IHOP Natalie went, “I have to see IHOP’s bathroom. I have to pee.”

Of course.

“Oh my God, Natalie,” Tommy snapped.

“Tommy. Don’t say that,” I lectured.

“She JUST went in TARGET!” Tommy fumed.

Actually, I wanted to basically say the same thing. “Natalie, you JUST went in TARGET!” But I knew there was no point in arguing. Natalie has to see the bathroom and that’s that.

Into IHOP’s bathroom we went. Tommy waited outside the door again.

“I can’t believe you, Natalie,” he said before we went in.

“I can’t believe YOU, brother,” she answered sweetly.

It took awhile, but the good news was, after we were done with the bathroom a table was ready for us. I ordered the blueberry pancakes.

“Now Tommy,” I said after the waitress walked away. “Since I got you the DSi for Christmas, you probably won’t be getting any other big gifts.”

Tommy frowned. “The DSi isn’t big.”

Oh, right. The literal thing. “No, I mean, you probably won’t get any other expensive things.”

“That’s fine,” Tommy shrugged.

Natalie handed me a Sweet N Low packet. “I think I need to pee again.”

“No, the bathroom is closed,” I said. If she peed all over the booth, I’d deal with it. But I highly doubted she really had to go.

Natalie handed me some Splenda. “I want my Rapunzel when we get home.”

“No, Rapunzel is going away until Christmas.”

“But I want her,” Natalie whined.

“I’m sorry, she’s for Christmas.” I stuck the packets back.

“But I WANT her,” Natalie cried.

“And like I told you before, Veruca Salt, you can’t have her now,” I replied.

I held my ground too. When we home, I took the box from Natalie and said that Rapunzel was going away for awhile.

“But I LOVEEEE HER!” Natalie crumpled to the ground. “I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH!”

She was behaving like I behaved as a young teenager when I had a crush on Macaulay Culkin.

“She’ll come back next month,” I promised.

“I loveeeee her!” Natalie carried on for about a half hour before admitting defeat. She got herself off the floor, brushed off her legs, and went to sit on the couch, acting as though she hadn’t just been acting like a complete lunatic.

It’s a good thing I also bought a thing of chocolate at Target.


  1. The peeing thing would drive me crazy! Why do little kids always have to pee?!

  2. i don't know how you do it. How will you make it another month before giving in?

  3. are SO MUCH NICER than me with the peeing thing.

    Love that your kids know what they're getting for Christmas. No need for surprise here huh? At least they know they'll like it. That is, I HOPE Natalie is still in love with the doll next month.

    And I want pancakes. Thanks so much for THAT.

  4. Tommy cracks ME up! He's acting like Big Tom would (I'm assuming) in the situation. Too, too funny!

    You do have a lot of patience! I would be tempted to put Natalie back in diapers when I went out shopping!

  5. I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering why you hadn't mentioned Target and their sales for a long time now. Ah, here it is! :)

    I hope you are not planning on driving to Oklahoma next summer. Natalie is not going to make it easy!

  6. I saw those deals in the paper! Oh how I wish we lived closer to Target...will still have to see if I can get over there if there is anything left!

  7. My kids think that all store bathrooms are broken. :)

  8. You're simply a saint. That's all I've got.

  9. Willy Wonka Reference for the win!

    Alex does the same thing with bathrooms, I feel your pain. She has to go in every place we go, and yes I have used the bathrooms are broken excuse many many times lol...

    ( What is weird is the hubby and I were having a convo about Veruca Salt last night lol )

  10. Sounds like some great deals!! I hope they give you patience when you have children because you have that of a saint and I am afraid I won't be able to handle things so well..though these stories make me laugh a lot!

  11. I'm so impressed that you shop for your children when they are there!

    Do you do the Santa thing, or do they know he is fake?

  12. good for you for putting it up until christmas - i totally suck at that. that's why I don't shop early i can't keep it a secret

  13. I'd laugh but my 18 yr old still acts like Veruca sometimes. :(

  14. tommy DOES make me laugh.. and he DOES remind me of his dad sometimes!!

    glad you made it in time for some good deals!!

  15. I can't believe you can get away with shopping in front of them like that. You are masterful.

  16. Wait - Santa's a fake? What does that mean?

  17. Giant dolls creep me out too or the ones with the eyes that seem to follow you around the room. I used to hide from mine under the covers at night.

    My 7 year old son thinks he has to go to the bathroom every single place we go too. Drives me nuts!

  18. LOL at the peeing. I know that my daughter will be the same way! She insists on having her diaper changed wherever we go. LOL

  19. My husband and his mother also have to go use the bathroom everyplace we go. My daughter did the same thing for 2 years after she was toilet trained. She had to go to every bathroom in every place we went. I thought she was fixated on toilets. My husband and his mom even have to go to the bathroom in the grocery store. I mean, who does that?

  20. Your kids and mine would get along SO well. We are getting elijah an iPad, and I am worried he won't get that it is "big" and wonder why he doesn't get anything else. Your not helping me with Tommy's answers.
    Oh, and I don't blame Natalie, I LOVE my new boots and can't wait until Christmas either. They NEED me.

  21. haha - I admire you for taking the kids Christmas shopping with you. I know if my parents had done that we would have torn the house apart looking for them again.

  22. Oh help! When *is* the age to quit making boys come into the ladies room with you? I am terrified of that awful stage where instead of being safe, it's creepy.

    *Waves* - I'm your newest follower!

  23. The bathroom thing? Would make me NUTS! But the I love her thing is way too cute! Your kids are a hoot!!

  24. dang! How did I NOT get this coupon?!?!

  25. remember going through that with tickle me elmo. and taking the boy to the bathroom when he took 10 minutes and he never had to go unless I did. of course he went first since we were potty-training and I almost always wet my pants!

  26. How come that children are so difficult to handle? But I love mine too.

  27. .. and a bottle of wine? Sounds like you needed it after that outing.

  28. Veruca Salt, hah! What a great post. I relate to everything. Only difference is, I'm the one who always has to pee.

  29. From every post I've read from you lately, it seems like Natalie is always having a fit. Is it just since her dad's been gone that this girl has a volatile temper?

  30. I love your reference to Veruca Salt! I'm glad you were able to still find some deals despite the long potty visit. :-)

  31. Yep, my kids (esp. my daughter) seem to need to sample every single bathroom there is, too! Ugh.

  32. OMG.......You are HILARIOUS!!! Love reading your blog! Always makes me laugh & smile! Thanks!

  33. It'll be interesting to see if she still loves her when she gets her back! I love this ". . .acting as though she hadn’t just been acting like a complete lunatic." My daughter does this, too. She just. . . turns it off. Crazy kids!

  34. Someday perhaps Natalie will have to actually pee every hour or so - just think of this as training -

    ...of course it might be 60-70 years or so...

  35. I am so incredibly impressed that you stuck to your guns and stayed in charge! The peeing thing would drive me crazy too...especially since I'm such a freak about being on time. Oh the things I have to look forward to with the twins!

  36. All I can say is you're gettin' it done. Go Mom! Jeez.... Parenting is not for a weak minded. ;)

  37. But I love her so much!!! Amazing. I don't know how you keep yourpatience, let alone turn it into blog comedy gold for our entertainment.


    This appears to be good information. A good website for overwhelmed moms.

    Although I often collapse with laughter with the antics, I see ......guess I best say no more.

  39. That is the part of potty training that I am dreading when it's Maddie's turn! I could really go for some IHOP now.

  40. Yum, IHOP and chocolate. Sounds like a great way to wrap up a shopping trip!


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