Thursday, February 10, 2011

Don't Feed Me

I’m sure most people have seen this picture:



If not, let me explain. It was taken at the Super Bowl and that would be A-Rod (baseball player Alex Rodriguez) and Cameron Diaz. Feeding A-Rod popcorn.

I just....

I mean....

Okay, look. I would never feed Tom. I would never expect him to feed me. He tried once in the beginning of our relationship. We were at a restaurant, having a good time, and then his fork started to come at me. With a fair amount of food on it.

See, Tom’s bite is different from mine. It’s bigger. So the pasta on the end of the fork was fairly large.

How big did he think my mouth was?

He hadn’t even seen my temper at that point so he didn’t really know.

Wait, did he WANT my mouth to be that big?

How do I tell him politely that my mouth is not that big? Maybe he was confusing me with Jenna Jameson.

The fork came closer....and closer...

“I can’t eat that!” I suddenly yelped. I meant to say it politely, to coyly shift my mouth away, flutter my eyelashes and say, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly....”

Instead, I shouted.

And startled Tom.

He brought the fork back to his plate and stared at me in confusion.

“It’s a sweet concept, feeding me,” I began but what I wanted to say was, Look, I haven’t had someone feed me since I was 1. “But that’s too much pasta for one bite.”

Oh God, what if he expected me to feed HIM?

“Okay,” Tom answered.

“I’m not feeding you, either,” I sputtered. “Some people might find it adorable to feed their boyfriend, but I am not one of those people.”

Tom smiled. “I wouldn’t expect you to feed me. I just wanted you to try some of my pasta since you said you liked Italian food so much.”

Aw. Well, that was sweet.

And to this day, he still lets me have a bite of his food.

But I get it myself.

45 comments:

  1. I wouldn't trust anyone to feed me...I would think they are somehow trying to choke me. Would you say I have trust issues? LOL

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  2. I didn't have much respect for A-rod to begin with but this is just seriously? Your that big of a baby that you can't eat for yourself? yeesh!

    I will still food from my bf but yeah I eat it myself & take it myself too.

    Melanie's Randomness

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  3. If Cameron Diaz wasn't going to watch the game, she could have given me her ticket!

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  4. Pat's bites are enormous, too. Like, an entire meatball for a BITE. AND! He can polish off his entire plate PLUS an appetizer and dessert!! And I am all bird-like with my half an enchilada (AFTER an entire bowl of nachos!) and am bursting. I ALWAYS have leftovers, though...

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  5. Any time the hubs and I have ever tried to feed each other it results in a mess and hysterical laughter. We're just not that kind of couple. And that's ok with me!

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  6. I'm not a food sharer.

    And I don't care much for people who are.

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  7. haha too funny I don't think I've ever dated a guy who wants to share his food with me although that goes viseversa.

    Gretta

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  8. Sharing food is alright but I can't stand being fed. I'm always scared the food will spill down the front of my shirt, they will miss my mouth or shove it in so fast I'll choke.

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  9. I'm right there with you, I think it's weird when adults do that!

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  10. I'm right there with you, I think it's weird when adults do that!

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  11. *snicker* there must be a name for that, like a 'feed me phobia'. lol.

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  12. My husband tried to feed me...once.

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  13. I can see you tossing M&Ms into his mouth from across the room. As opposed to him dumping the whole bag in his mouth.

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  14. haha - I didn't see it but I heard all about it. I personally didn't think it was a huge deal, more of an affection thing. It would have been different had it been more "mushy, lovey dovey" but from what I saw, it was her putting some popcorn in his mouth while he kept his eyes on the game.

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  15. ya - feeding each other is way weird. and people that sit on the same side of the booth and the other side is empty. totally weird.

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  16. LMAO!! I would love it if my bf would try and feed me, instead (and just as sweet) he cuts a bite off and then put s it on the corner of my plate.

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  17. I would never tell my husband this. But the thought of having A-Rod nibble popcorn from my hand? Doesn't sound half bad.

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  18. No one had fed me anything since I was old enough to do it myself. There are better ways to show love and affection.

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  19. Don't feed me either. I out grew that ages ago.

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  20. I had not seen that but I agree that's just weird. Eww.

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  21. hahahaha! Yeeeah, I take way smaller bites than The Man. He eats like he was once in prison, all hunched over and shoveling it in faster than it can cool. I can just imagine him hunching over behind me trying to shove food in my mouth that fast and me choking and falling to the floor with food all over my face...Wow, I just went somewhere with that.

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  22. I'm not into the feeding each other thing, either. Though, we do often take bites off each other's plates in a bizarre game of figuring out who ordered the better meal.

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  23. I'm not into the whole feeding each other thing either! I think I'd be afraid of the fork! A spoon or finger food maybe ... nah ... I'll just feed myself!

    What bugs me about this picture is that it seems to me that if people ARE going to feed each other it entails a level of intimacy that should not happen in public, with cameras on you, and him not even LOOKING at her! That's just WRONG!

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  24. It doesn't surprise me that Cameron Diaz did that. She is beyond annoying!

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  25. With my luck, if my hubby tried to feed me, he would jab me in the face with the fork, and we'd end up in the ER. My.luck.

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  26. I saw that during the Superbowl. I just thought it was gross. Not a big ARod or Diaz fan. I would never feed my husband in public. Just no...leave somethings for private.

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  27. I don't know. Let's think of this in an economic sense, where we say, "Do whatever requires the least amount of work for the maximum benefit." Course, don't try it on me.

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  28. I'm not down with that either. It's gross and I have boundary issues.

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  29. I don't trust anyone to feed me. I'm very much a control freak with my bites and the angle of my fork or spoon.

    And really, feeding each other popcorn? *eye roll* Just ridiculous.

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  30. I blurted out "Idiots!" when I saw that scene during the superbowl! "Gross" or "Ewwww, lame" may have been better, but "Idiots" it was.

    I don't like being fed either ... unless I'm sitting on the couch next to my hubs, laptop on my lap, blogging away and then notice he's eating ice cream or some dessert. Then I want a bite and just learn over for it ... blogging is too important to take and break and feed myself.

    Lulu :)

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  31. That only works if in the next photo he's sipping beer out of her shoe. And it better be a stiletto.

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  32. Haha, with the exception of feeding babies and couples feeding each other wedding cake, I think folks are generally better off feeding themselves.

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  33. Yea, I don find that romantic...nor do I find it romantic knowing that A rod banged the vadge...I mean the Madge as in Madonna. Who knows what was fed in that snatch...sorry...I went there.

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  34. I don't find it adorable either. My food is my food and your food is yours!

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  35. I honestly don't know why people care either way,lol.


    www.thesocialfrog.com

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  36. MY mouth is big enough for as much pasta as you can shove in it! I'm sure you'd have been all over it if you'd been at the Melting Pot ;)

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  37. What I hate the most is when someone takes it upon themselves to stick THEIR fork into my PLATE without asking. Here it comes...towards my food...STOP!!! If it was my husband I guess I wouldnt mind...after all, we share much more than kitchen utensils. But, it's never him. It's usually his MOTHER...and that's just...not right on all counts.

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  38. sharing a bite on your plate is so much sexier than feeding...

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  39. I hate when people feed eachother, ALMOST as much as I hate when my husband reaches over and eats something off my plate. I don't mind sharing...but really..could you ask? Could you allow me to offer? Could you not attack my plate before I even try it. He means well..he really does! hahha

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  40. I'm with you, I am all for tasting my hubby's food too but we get our own bites :)

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  41. LOVe your blog! I'm a writer and new to blogging, and looking for interesting people to follow -- your'e a terrific writer! Fun to be here. I need to be around people who can laugh at life and then turn it into something rich!

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  42. We feed each other but not in the A-Rod-Diaz way, more in the Tom wanting you try try his pasta way.

    LisaDay

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  43. The best part of that picture is that he is obviously trying to watch something--the game on a monitor? the Goodyear blimp? a passing bird? the water droplets flinging from Clay Matthews' hair? Apparently whatever it was it was far more interesting than having popcorn shoved down his throat by Cameron Diaz.

    On another note, is it just me, or does A-Rod have girly hands?

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  44. I actually caught the moment live while watching the game and I gagged. Seriously.

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