Monday, August 29, 2011

The Ball Plant

Remember this plant?

I asked awhile back if it was a weed.

The general consensus was that it WAS a weed.

I stink at gardening so I wasn’t sure. I wouldn’t even have a garden if it weren’t for base housing insisting that everyone have one.

They really ought to make it optional. “Garden with every house…except to the people who kill plants.”

That’s me.

I kill plants.

Not on purpose, mind you.

It’s just, if it can’t shout at me that it’s hungry like my children do, I forget about it.

It’s why my Mom bought me a singing flower pot. When the plant needs water, it sings. Granted, it startled me the first time it went off. I thought a man had broken into the home and started singing a song. (I know. Weird. But I thought it was like The Singing Burglar or something.)

Anyway, I decided I needed to get rid of the weed. I didn’t want to be written up for a messy garden.

So I marched outside, prepared to tug the thing from the ground.

It didn’t work.

I pulled and nothing happened.

Look, I know I’m weak but surely I could pull up a WEED.

Only I couldn’t.

I had both my palms wrapped around the weed and it refused to budge. I swore a couple of times. My neighbors probably deem me as inappropriate.

At one point I peeked down at the root, wondering if it would ever come out and I saw balls.


Not REAL balls.

But close enough.

“Stupid ball plant,” I muttered and stomped in the house.

I proceeded to forget about the plant until Tom came home.

He managed to pull out the dreaded ball plants.
They will forever be known as ball plants to me now.

If someone asks me about it in their garden I’ll be like, “Oh, you have a ball plant. Awful, aren’t they?”


  1. *giggles*

    Made you testy-cular huh? :)

  2. Thanks for the Monday morning laugh!!
    Stupid weeds!!

  3. hahaha - oh no.
    I love the "singing plant" idea. I need one of those because I kill just about every plant I try to nurture.

  4. you have no idea how badly I needed this laugh today!!!!
    THANK YOU!!! ahaaaahahahaha!!!

  5. Those Ball Plants! they are so hard to get rid of. lol

  6. Yes, I guess with Tom home you don't need a supply elsewhere.

  7. I'm glad Tom's got the balls to pull out the ball weed/plant thingy. :)

  8. hahaha we have those growing in my flowerbed/yard too! drive me nuts- they grow insanely fast!

  9. Whoever invented the singing plant watering alarm must have watched The Three Amigos too many times - The Singing Bush. Classic!

    I (accidentally) killed a cactus once.

  10. haha I've never seen a plant with balls before, but now I'm glad that I have. I think?

  11. Lol. I have the same problem pulling weeds. I just leave it for my husband.

  12. I can just see you now trying like heck to rid your front yard of those dirty ball, that was too funny !!! Blessings

  13. In my experience, anything sporting a pair is a real pain. I'm not surprised this plant is too!

  14. That is too funny! I've never seen a plant with balls for roots but apparently Mother Nature has a sense of humor. Let's hope your neighbors do to!

    I'd hate for them to point at your house and be all "That's Amber's house. She's inappropriate."



  15. Bwahahaha.......Damn Ball plants!
    Maybe they just grow them down south? Haven't ever heard of them before.

    Sound like some pretty TOUGH BALLS! hehe

  16. Lol, that just totally made my Monday!

  17. I'm glad you included that photo, or I never would have believed you! lol

  18. I'm laughing like crazy, my kids are asking why....and I can't tell them.
    I would have just told that ball plant...not now, I have a headache. it probably would have shrivelled and died.

  19. That's too funny.I'm going to start calling all my weeds ball plants now.

  20. Funny post. I also have no green thumb, and 'though I don't frequent plant stores, I wouldn't be surprised to walk into one and confront a mug shot of me on the wall.

  21. Oh Amber! I SOOOOO needed this shot of hilarity in my day today! Thank you for providing it!

  22. Didn't you know even those with brown thumbs can grow a weed? Never fails. LOL.

  23. whoa! I didn't know I would be looking at some odd form of porn today! Hahaha! That's crazy!

  24. That is the most inappropriate plant I've ever seen.

    Doesn't it know you have children?

    This is not France, you plant socialist!

  25. LOL! You're so weird! And imaginative....and fabulous!!!

  26. Seriously...that is one of the funniest pictures I've ever seen. I wouldn't have believed it without proof!


  27. Hilarious! Even more hilarious is that Tom is the one who ultimately had to handle the balls!

  28. This completely cracked me up, but now I'm curious: what kind of plant is it? Surely someone knows. C'mon, Amber readers: help a city kid without a green thumb out. Thanking you in advance.


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