Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Robot in the Gym

Why was it burning so much?

Why?

Wasn’t the pain supposed to lessen in time?

Why did it feel like my legs were about to break off—oh wait, smile, the guy next to you looks concerned. It’s probably because of my deep breathing. And my ultra red face. It always turns red when I’m working out.

It was day 3 in the gym.

It was day 3 in the gym and I couldn’t help but marvel at this other girl who had already done 30 minutes on the bike (I peeked at the screen when I walked by) and had moved onto the elliptical. How could she stand both? Didn’t she want to die?

I guess not because she easily moved to the elliptical, punched in her workout and started to move. Without even taking a drink of her water.

I slurped on my own water. At least I remembered to bring it this time. And I remembered to bring music. But the water wasn’t helping. The music wasn’t helping. The Beach Boys trilled a song about the beach from my iPod and I wanted to slap them. This was no time to be singing about the beach! I was dying! I wanted a pina colada!

I kept moving. I only had ten minutes to go. I could do ten minutes. I just wouldn’t focus on the pain.

That didn’t work well. I reached for my water, tilted it back, and realized it was empty.

EMPTY!

I had filled that thing up to the brim. I suppose I could get more water from the fountain—but then I’d have to pause my workout and if I left the elliptical, I wasn’t sure if I’d go back.

I managed to get through the work out. When the machine beeped that I was done, my legs felt like jelly. I wobbled over to grab a cloth to clean the machine and as I was wiping it down I saw Workout Chick move from the elliptical to the treadmill.

Was she working out on every last thing in the gym? Was she a robot?

Her face wasn’t bright red. She barely even paused before climbing onto the treadmill.

As I finished wiping down my elliptical, I noticed it said SUMMIT on the side. What? Summit? What did that—

--and then it occurred to me that I had used the HARDER elliptical. The others were just basic ones. I had gone on one that resembled a tiny mountain.

Oh.

That explains the intense pain.

Note to self: stay away from the ultra evil elliptical for awhile.

(And as I discovered this, Workout Chick happily jogged on her treadmill, ponytail swishing back and forth behind her.)

31 comments:

  1. I would love to work out with you. My face gets red and I always sound like I'm going to die. And I hate trying to hide my heavy breathing so people won't know how out of shape I am.

    I wrote 2 blog posts about funny experiences when I was working out. Or maybe I just thought it was funny: http://bliggitybloggityboo.blogspot.com/2008/07/billy-and-treadmill.html

    http://bliggitybloggityboo.blogspot.com/2008/07/billy-and-treadmill-part-deux.html

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  2. If I were at the gym with you, we could yank that pony-tailed freak off the treadmill and slap up one side and down the other. NOBODY should be that chipper at a gym. NOBODY.

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  3. Yeah. We don't like her. At all. *pumping clenched fist in air*

    Good on you for getting yourself to the gym. And keep fighting the good fight.

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  4. I have a friend who is the Workout Chick - she's been at it since high school and is in fantasticly amazing shape and I wish I could be like her. But you're doing leaps and bounds above what I'm doing. I'm benched for a while.

    My favorite quote is "At least you're lapping everyone who's sitting on the couch"

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  5. I turn bright red, too. *sigh* Let me know when it gets better. Put a time-frame on it for me. . . then maybe I'll have hope!

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  6. wish we lived in the same town... we could go workout together. don't worry, we wouldn't have talk or anything... just knowing another person there is all red-faced from being on the elipitcal after the first 2min would help me more than anything! :o)

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  7. Goo for you for continuing to go! And I'd stay away from the evil eliptical too! lol Good luck!

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  8. I started working out with a trainer two days a week about a month ago. Not because I am Workout Chick. Oh honey, I AM NOT! I am more like beached whale on the floor when Jake (that's my surfer dude nazi trainer) makes me do crunches. Reach for my feet? I reach in what I think is their general direction red-faced, puffing, grunting, and swearing at Jake (much to his amusement) while glaring daggers at my gym's Workout Chick. Who also has a blonde poneytail.

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  9. Just get it done. Nice work! :)

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  10. Don't worry, keep at it and you'll get there too. Not sure how you'll look in a pony tail, but I think that is required.

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  11. Those machines are like hell on earth to me. Give me Zumba or pilates any day over those evil monsters!

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  12. I can't do the machines... I started doing Zumba and love it.

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  13. I believe all workouts are torture from the gods. That being said, when I do workout, I usually do yoga, run, turbo jam, or get my ass kicked by Scary Spice.

    And I hate Workout Chicks.

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  14. I am glad to know I am not the only one that gets all red in the face. For some reason it takes hours after my work out to get my face back to normal.

    I use this for my excuse of why I don't go to the gym.

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  15. Happy Workout Chick sounds like she needs a smuck up the side of the head :-D

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  16. You should have kicked her in the shins or better yet you should have said "You're not working hard enough fat ass"...wait that would be really mean.

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  17. LOL :)
    My face ALWAYS gets super red when I work out!!
    *And yes, the Beach Boys are too cheerful while working out. You need to run to some gangster shoot 'em up rap. :)

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  18. I hate that girl! My face is always super red after just a few minutes of working out. When I pick up my daughter from the play center afterwards she usually has a comment on how red/sweaty/gross I look.

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  19. I thought maybe you saw my sister at the gym. Only you are in Oklahoma. And my sister is 7 months pregnant. And she is STILL that chick at the gym. It's ok, I hate her too.

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  20. I hate that girl, I'll bet she had her makeup all done and everything. What is with that? I am a mess at the gym - I have asthma, so I'm constantly puffing on my inhaler!

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  21. This sounds like me when I would go to the gym! I hated seeing those girls that could workout forever without even breaking a sweat. That's not even working out, in my opinion! But it DOES get better after a little while. Even so I started working out at home--P90x! I hate gyms!

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  22. Perky Robot Chick is why I hate going to the gym...she makes me sick...

    WM

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  23. I turn alarmingly read when I work out, and a weird vein in my head pops out a little. That might be why the cute guy I smile at when I'm there never smiles back.

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  24. Oh I hate people like that, while secretly wanting to be one of them. I once walked out of a workout class after less than 10 minutes because I was so lost on what the rest of the class was doing.

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  25. I get so red too when I work out- and totally quit about 3/4's of the way through several of the exercises.

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  26. That's good then! You got a king kong workout, and ponytail swisher didn't!

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  27. My face AND hands get red when I work out, so I spend half my time explaining the freak of nature that is my body. You get points for even showing up to the gym in my book.

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  28. Ah, yes, THAT girl!! I'm a heavy woman (250+ lbs.) and I do at least 30 minutes on the elliptical. My secret? My nook, my iPod, and my water. I listen to upbeat music, drink my music and read a good book. Reading my book helps keep my mind off the pain and the time flies. However, I still have to be uber careful when I start getting off the machine because my legs feel like jello...still haven't figured a way out of that one.

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  29. I found out the hard way that I don't have the coordination for the elliptical machine...this means I have to stay longer on the treadmill/stationary bike. *FACEPALM*

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