Monday, November 28, 2011

Black Friday Freak Out

I did the Black Friday thing last year.

When the stores opened at 4 AM. I was freezing in line and willing the people behind me to remember what Personal Space was since they kept inching into mine.

And then the check out lines were in, wrapped around the store insane.

I vowed to never do that again.

I didn’t.

This year, Tom and I went to some stores at 9 AM. We went to Target first and yes, it was busy, but not crazy busy. I actually had a purpose for going—I needed construction paper to do a school project with Natalie. Tom was eager to look at the electronics deals.

And that’s ALL he wanted to look at.

When we got in, he breezed past all the other displays. Target had special price displays for their Black Friday sale dotted around the store and I wanted to look at them all.

Tom did not.

In fact, he seemed baffled when I stopped to look at some pajamas.

“Did we need those?” he asked.

“No but…they’re four dollars,” I explained. I mean, hello?

I found the cheap DVD displays and pawed through those. Tom seemed impatient as I lifted up DVDs and asked if he wanted any.

“I have most of those DVDs,” he said.

Oh. He bought a lot when he was in Korea so I’m still not sure what all he has.

“Look, Tom. Due Date! This is a funny movie and—” I realized I was speaking to a complete stranger in a jean jacket. He blinked at me in surprise.

Where did my husband go?

I scanned the store and found him heading for the electronics. Apparently he was not impressed with the cheap DVDs.

I went back to the electronics section and got distracted by the book area. This is where Tom found me.

“What are you doing?” he seemed genuinely surprised I was looking at something that we did not come for.

“Books. There are so many I want to read right now,” I said, fingering the newest Philippa Gregory.

“Are you almost done? There are people everywhere.” Tom is not comfortable in crowds. He thinks the men behind him are going to pull a weapon out at any moment. Or something. It’s the cop in him.

We started to walk to the Christmas section. Tom was walking past all the sale displays. I was beginning to feel weak and I swear sweat beads formed on my forehead. Why wasn’t he looking at them?

When he walked past the home goods display I couldn’t take it.


Tom stared at me as though I had a polka dot bra on my head.

“I thought we were here for construction paper,” Tom reminded me.

“Yes but…we can still look at the deals. Just in case,” I said.

“But we don’t NEED anything else. You were just saying the other day that we had too much crap,” Tom pointed out.

This was true. I had opened a closet and was nearly attacked by all the stuff we had crammed in there. I had screamed, “No more CRAP this year. Please. NO MORE CRAP!”


Passing sale displays is like some sort of sin in my world.

In the end, I was good and only got the construction paper that we came for.

I didn’t encounter any Black Friday crazies.

Wait, there was that chick who had a freakout because she couldn’t look at all the sale displays.

Oh. That was me.



  1. I've said it before and I say it again....Men do NOT get shopping!

  2. This was funny. I've done "Black Friday" like you guys did. Go out at 9 am, when everyone who was out at 4am is now at home, asleep.

  3. haha! my husband is the same - if we didn't go to the store for it, there isn't need to look at it lol. That's why I avoid telling him specific things we need OR i forewarn him that I want to wander =)

  4. I try to stay as far away from any stores on Black Friday. Then again, I usually don't even start my shopping until the week before Christmas.

  5. ha! I am totally like your husband. I do not like crowds! You couldn't PAY me to black friday shop. It sounds awful! :) Erin

  6. I'm jealous of you! me and my husband slept out at RC willey ALL night and they didn't even open till 8am friday!! and there were so many angry people and so much drama and we got mace sprayed on us cause someone was trying to be funny. I told my husband I'm not doing that again! haha!!

  7. I briefly thought about doing the Black Friday thing. Irishman and I talked about it...HE actually mentioned it first which really shocked me. Then he shocked me again when he said he had changed his mind. Seems he caught wind of the horror stories. I was happy since PRISION BITCH doesn't work for me....and neither do crazy crowds. (I'm with Tom on this one)

  8. haha!!!

    I'm the same way... I hate it when "crap" starts to pile up, but it's SO HARD to pass up a good deal!!

    Good for you for showing restraint! :o)

  9. we like to wait til later in the day if we're going to do any blackfriday shopping. less likely to encounter rioting and/or pepper spray.

  10. Visiting from Things I can't say today - where have you been all my life? Glad to have found you.

  11. My husband knows better, lol!! I HAVE TO look!! And if he's honest, he likes to look too!

  12. Ya I went black fridaying this year as well but at the factory outlet mall.... It was crazy. I waited in line after line with my girl. I even saw cops arresting people for cutting in line... not kidding! And after it was all over I told my girl..... I will be watching football all day tomorrow cause you owe me big time... So overall.... totally worth it!

  13. At least you didn't pepper spray anyone!!!

  14. Love it!! I go crazy around books too. At the library I usually check out 2 cards worth (60), I am like a kid in a candy shop. And they're all free (except the inevitable fines of course).

  15. Really men just don't get that we never really need anything when we go to the store, but we just love to look and if it is on sale well then all the sudden we might just need it! I may have lost it on my poor boyfriend and asked him to just come back and pick me up later, he really hates busy places.

  16. I do Black Friday but I always go at 8. By that time all the true crazies have left to cackle in their pile of packages! The lines can be long-ish but not 4am long and I still get all the good prices. I'm never after the "hot" items so I don't have to wait in the cold or fear being trampled. It works well for me. I also leave my husband at home so I don't have to explain to him why I have to at least LOOK.

  17. I am weak when it comes to Target. I always end up buying more stuff. It is great if you really only get what you went there for but less fun.

  18. I confess...I went to Walmart at 10pm on Thanksgiving. It was like armageddon and I left with nothing, except for the pain of realizing I wasted time traipsing out to the store when I could be home, snuggling on the couch with hubs. Doh!!

  19. Men. They just don't understand how to act in the stores.

  20. Ha! I can't deal with the crowds. But I have to look at the sales.

  21. I have NEVER done a Black Friday.

    I certainly won't start now.
    They exhaust me just thinking about them.
    Besides I don't want some crazy lady using pepper spray on me cuz I got the last fern or rockin' santa or something.

    It is amazing that you walked out with only construction paper. I'm sure the Target gods are crying in their soup right now at all the money they lost on you.

  22. I won't even drive past a store the day after Thanksgiving. You are one brave gal.

  23. You are good! I learned long ago that my marriage would not survive shopping with my husband ;-)
    Happy Christmas, jj

  24. You have to look at the displays. That's just the way it is. Silly man...

  25. I'm so proud of you for staying strong!

  26. I just laughed the entire time I read that! And Due Date...that is a funny movie! I would've stopped to check it out too...along with the books, homegoods, beauty products, candy. Oh my! It's a good thing I didn't head out on Friday. I would've come home with a lot of junk to throw in our overflowing closet ;-)

  27. At least you know you were *that* chick:)

    We didn't go, either. Never have, and I'm pretty sure I never will!

  28. I was laughing because my husband prefers to go to Costo without me because I rush him and he wants to peruse the aisles. Of course I rush him! He brings home stuff we soooo don't need.

  29. My sweetie actually suggested we go shopping this year! I was totally shocked.

  30. Ho ho ho that was hilarious. At least you didn't encounter any bloody incidents like the ones at our local Walmart. It was crazy.

  31. I would've done the same! I hate shopping with men. I always feel rushed and it stresses me out when I can't stop and look at sale items, as much as I dont need them.


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