Finally. It’s December. The month of Christmas. The month where it’s finally appropriate for stores to be playing Christmas music.
I decided to make a list on what NOT to do for the holidays.
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10. Don’t be offended when people say Merry Christmas. If you don’t believe, fine, but for goodness sakes, it’s a phrase.
9. Don’t block the toy aisles with your cart. I realize those areas are going to be crazy but keep your cart to the side so people can pass.
8. Don’t wear tacky Christmas sweaters...unless you’re going to a tacky Christmas sweater party.
7. Don’t prolong Christmas carols. I’m talking to you Christina Aguilara and Jennifer Hudson. It’s Silent Night. Not Siiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllleeennnttttt Nnnnnnnniiiiiiigggghhhhhtttttt. Just sing it already.
6. Don’t expect to find the Leapfrog Explorer Learning Tablet in stores or online. It seems to be sold out everywhere.
5. Don’t eat your weight in holiday treats. Oh wait, I’ve already done this. Shoot.
4. Don’t make fun of the way I wrap presents. I know. I suck.
3. Don’t force me to watch It’s A Wonderful Life. I don’t like it. But before you assume I’m not a fan of “old” movies, I absolutely love Miracle on 34th Street.
2. Don’t threaten to call Santa when the kids are acting up and not have a backup plan when one kid goes, “Prove it. Call Santa then.”
1. Don’t give fruit cake as a gift unless you know the recipient likes it. Most people think it tastes like fart.
Friday, December 2, 2011
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I need to find the call Santa # I used last year. That works. LOL
ReplyDeleteThough I don't own one, I think tacky Christmas sweaters are AWESOME!! If they light up, or have tinkling christmas bells on them. . . EVEN BETTER!
ReplyDeleteLOVE this. I thought I was the only one who didn't like It's a wonderful Life. Give me Mary Poppins and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory anyday.
ReplyDeleteMy husband LOVES It's a Wonderful Life.. me? eh.. it's okay. Give me Elf! now that's a Christmas movie I can watch over and over!
ReplyDeleteDrats... now I got to find another way to unload 60 fruitcakes...
ReplyDeleteI used to have to sell fruit cakes for a fundraising thing.
ReplyDeleteMy dad would help me by telling people that if they didn't like it they could always use them as door stoppers!
My gram loves fruitcake. I'm pretty sure she is the only person in the world that does though.
ReplyDeleteOh but you are a bit of a Scrooge are you not? If you can't do tacky at Christmas then why bother getting out the singing, flapping fish trophy at all?
ReplyDeleteI don't like It's a Wonderful Life either. But I will gladly watch that one if I can skip A Christmas Story. HATE that movie. Unfortunately, my husband and his sisters *still* watch the 24hr marathon *every* year.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to kill that tradition this year.
I work in advertising and LeapFrog has been my client for 11 years now. That LeapPad is something else and I produced the commercials. They are pleased with sales as they have blown through them! From an agency standpoint we're happy they have sold out, but from a consumer standpoint I've had so many friends beg me to get them LeapPads and I can't. Not even employees have them in their hands. Never launched a product with them this big that blew through orders so fast.
ReplyDeletegreat list and fruit cake tastes life fart.
ReplyDeletei have a couple of toys I should've bought earlier.
Would you believe I've never had fruitcake? It sounds fine in concept... I mean I like fruit and I like nuts and I like bread and cake. Caaaarbs!!!! But I'm afraid to even try it.
ReplyDeleteHee. Tacky festive sweaters. I know a woman who wears different festive EARRINGS every day in December. Heeeeee.
ReplyDeletehaha - It's a Wonderful Life is my favorite movie of all time. But I promise not to force you to watch it, hehe. And yes - people who want "Happy holidays" with no "Merry Christmas" annoy me...I mean...the name of the holiday is...CHRISTMAS. {!?!} some people...
ReplyDeleteGreat list! Happy Friday!
My oldest once said "Santa? Really, mom? You gonna call Dad?" !!kids!!
ReplyDeleteI MUST watch It's a Wonderful Life over and over and over again while wrapping presents (I have a HUGE family and 5 kids so present wrapping takes days, not hours.) I believe this to be OK because it's balanced by Jaws being my favorite movie ever. And we traditionally watch the Twilight Zone marathon on SyFy channel New Years Day.
ReplyDeleteAnd I follow Santa and Mrs Claus on Twitter. :D
I can't wrap presents either... my kids will figure out the whole Santa thing early on if they pay attention to the details!
ReplyDeleteMy husband LOVES fruit cake. Yeah, he's weird. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIf we could get all the world to follow the christmas sweater one I'd be a happier person! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI always say "Merry Christmas", no Happy Holidays in this household.
ReplyDeleteI don't eat my weight in treats but I definitely partake. I know you shouldn't use the "It's the holiday's" excuse, but I always do!
Nothing like the Christmas tree sparkling and music playing to make you feel like calories don't count.
Hilarious!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFart Cake is awful.
Why do they even display the stuff?
Enya is another artist that should NOT do Christmas songs. Yikes.
I love her music on a good day, but not Christmas.
Omg, I am a 60 yr old child. Fruitcake tastes like fart...ha ha ha ha ha ha *gasp* he he he he
ReplyDeleteI like fruitcake
ReplyDeleteI love It's a Wonderful Life - but I will admit there are parts where it is REALLY slow and it's REALLY long.
ReplyDeleteGosh the "over-singing" of any song really gets on my nerves!! You're so right - just sing it already!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you find that tablet and have a merry time munching on treats!!! You should see the European ones....ohmygosh yummy!!!!
The people who block the aisles are infuriating.
ReplyDeleteUh, so this means you know what farts taste like? hee hee
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I've ever seen It's a Wonderful Life all the way through. As for Miracle on 34th St., I'll be seeing it in play form in two weeks at my son's school. It will be fun!
ReplyDeleteI love your list!! I love the idea of having a tacky Christmas sweater party!!! Lol!! I must confess I did own one once, everyone in my office had one and I felt out of place, in my defense I will go to my grave swearing it was not tacky since I bought it at Saks but my sisters still made fun of me for it!! Lol!
ReplyDeleteEating your weight in holiday treats is what makes January so much fun...lots of exercise, no sweets, sugar withdrawls...don't I sound like a fun January friend? LOL
ReplyDeleteHA! Love #7 I can't stand that!
ReplyDeleteLove this list but 1 has to be the best! I hate fruit cake...it is just strange, and then I hear it took you 7 months to make it, and then it's not only strange but going to some how kill me!
ReplyDeleteMay I add a point to #10?
ReplyDelete10.1 - Don't call it a Holiday Tree. It's a Christmas tree.