Thursday, January 19, 2012

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: GPSes

Since it’s the new year I decided to try something different.

I’ve decided to create a weekly post called Things That Annoy Me every Thursday.

Venting helps.


In a quarter mile turn right...


What’s a quarter mile?

Is it this turn?

Or the next one?

Maybe I should have paid more attention in math class. Only I don’t recall going over what a quarter mile was.

Okay. I’ll turn here. This has to be a quarter mile..

Recalculating.. (in a snotty gosh-what-a-moron voice)

Great. I’ve just been chastised by my GPS.

But seriously? What IS a quarter mile?

Why does my GPS love to confuse me?

And why did it start speaking German all of a sudden that one time?
It started off in English and then switched to a language that I didn’t comprehend.

And it told me off in German, too.

*Insert German word for recalculating here*

I’m tired of being told off by electronics!

What the GPS SHOULD say if I make a wrong turn is, “I apologize for baffling you, but you’ve made a wrong turn.” But no. Instead it’s all, “RECALCULATING.”

Why do I even bother?

Oh, that’s right, because I can’t read a map.

Tom can attest to this. Before we had a GPS we used maps and I had to figure out where we were going while Tom drove.

This did not go well.

Tom would ask where we needed to turn. I’d stare at the map in confusion.

“Well? Where do we turn?” Tom would ask.

“Um…” I felt like I did when my scary French teacher would scream at me in French to answer her question in French which I did not understand because I never COMPREHENDED French!

“Do I turn here?”

I twisted the map around as though that would help me find the answer. It didn’t.

Needless to say Tom would usually miss his turn and I’d wind up in tears.

I figured the GPS would solve everything.


Neither of us knows what a quarter mile is.

Neither of us speaks German.

And once when we were trying to find a Golden Corral, the GPS led us to an apartment complex that I swear was depicted on Cops before.

So yes.

Today I write about mean GPSes.

Will I stop using one?


Will I ever learn what a quarter mile is?

Probably not.


  1. And metres. Turn in 200 metres? What does that mean? And why can't it tell you how to turn out of a parking lot? Stupid GPS only somewhat helps the directionally challenged.


  2. haha! My friend and I were travelling together and her GPS took us to a gated community when we were looking for Olive Garden. We were parked in some person's driveway and the damn thing kept chirping "Arrived at Destiniation!" while we pressed a gazillion buttons trying to get it to recalculate the route to the Olive Garden.

    I have to look up detailed instructions and print out pictures of landmarks when i travel to new areas. When I get lost- even for a few seconds- I PANIC

  3. HAHA that "recalculating" is so annoying indeed. We take wrong turns to annoy her so she can say recalculating a lot. It makes us feel better anyway :D

  4. Our GPS is the same snotty beyotch. But what I love more than that is the self check out lane at the grocery. It will cut you down in front of ALL other customers, like you're trying to steal something. I've gotten to the point where I just bicker back at it. LOL. Now, people can think I'm a thief AND a nutjob.

  5. I'm right there with you! Metrics throw me also...
    I have a love hate with my GPS I usually end up swearing at it and throwing it in back seat! But maps I think you need a penis to be able to read them! I never met a women that could navigate a map!

  6. LOL!!! too funny..I can so relate I cannot read a map all I know is left & right haha

  7. most cars have this fancy little odometer thing that tells you how far you are going. I always assume a quarter mile is between .2 and .3

  8. A quarter mile is exactly 2 car lengths past where you were SUPPOSED to turn!

  9. I like the GPS that not only tells you but shows you exactly where to turn. Like the one on my husbands phone. Does it with a bright pink line so you won't miss it. Otherwise, I'd just pass up the turn.

  10. Never had a GPS, guess I've never been to strange places. Aren't they supposed to then say 'turn here' just after the turn?

  11. I use the GPS on my iPhone because it's silent. And I just watch the little ball move along the street until it show we me turn. Because, GPS devices (and their voices) annoy me, too :-)

  12. Ack, French, my nemesis. I couldn't stand French class...because I couldn't speak it either. Not my cup of tea at all.

  13. I used to have a hard time reading maps in my younger days, too. To stop any fighting, I'D drive and JIM would navigate. Worked wonders!

  14. It's a constant love/hate relationship with technology. I always think of my high school track when I am trying to gauge a quarter mile.

  15. There's no way I could handle a GPS. The boyfriend downloaded a 'sexy voice' app for his, so now we get directions from a porn star whenever we're lost ... I'll let you continue your own thought process there.

  16. I have a love hate relationship with my GPS lady.

  17. I am cracking up. I cuss my GPS lady all the time and I know exactly what you mean about the condescending way she shouts, "Recalculating!" Bitch.

    Mine has never spoken to me in another language but it was all kinds of frustrating and hilarious when we were in Spain a few years ago (the GPS had a British accent) and could not figure out how to get us ignorant Americans out of the roundabout!

  18. Sounds rather annoying. Maybe I don't want a new car with a GPS after all. I think I will just stick with my instinct and a road map. I use google maps most of the time anyway.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.

    Have a beautiful Friday!

  19. A friend & I went on a roadtrip last summer with both of our kids. We used a GPS & whenever we would veer off to get something to eat or drink or gas or whatever it would say recalculating over & over & over and it was completely freaking her oldest son out. He has anxiety anyways so stupid gps lady telling us basically you are effin lost was not helping the situation. Poor kiddo. LOL

  20. My mom always calls the GPS "that bossy little twerp who's wrong half the time." Sounds like your GPS is at least as annoying as hers!

  21. I don't like GPSs either. Annoying. And mine won't take me on highways! I'm like, "hello? I don't want to travel 200 miles by back roads!"


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