Monday, January 28, 2013

Stinky Hair

I gave Tommy a hug good night and got a whiff of his hair.

It was not pleasant.

It smelled like old cheese. Dirty feet. And what I would imagine Lindsay Lohan’s breath would smell like.

It was not good.

“Tommy,” I began politely. He tends to get offended easily so I had to broach this carefully. “When was the last time you washed your hair?”

He’s ten, so his hygiene isn’t always the best. He started to get BO at 9 so he has to wear deoderant—something that he’ll forget to do at times. I’m grateful that he bathes every day. But he cannot forget his hair and pits.

“Uh? Last week?” Tommy responded, staring at his iPod Touch.

“It…stinks,” I admitted. “You should probably wash it every few days. You wouldn’t want the ladies to be like ‘yuck, Tommy smells like an old gym sock’ would you?”

Tommy blinked at me.

“You know, the ladies? The, uh...” I petered out, unsure of what to say next.

“I’ll wash my hair,” Tommy vowed. He was probably hoping I’d leave.

“Actually lather it in,” I said. One time I watched as he slapped some shampoo in his hair and immediately washed it out without even scrubbing it in.

“I will.” The annoyance was beginning to seep into his voice.

“It’s just important to smell nice,” I explained. “But not too nice. Some of the boys in your class need to learn that they do not need to spray the entire bottle of Axe on them. Women still need the ability to BREATHE, you know?” I chuckled and Tommy didn’t join in.

Okay then.

“Um, well, okay. Nice talk,” I said, backing away.

It’s tough when the kids get older. I can still wash my five-year-old daughter’s hair so she still smells like grapes and strawberries or whatever soap and shampoo she likes that week.

But my boy? Yeah. Let’s hope that he understands the importance of not smelling like the kind of cheese that smells like dirty diapers.


  1. Sounds like my son. He tends to forget to wash his hair at times too. He also gets very offended if I tell him to go get some deodorant on.

  2. BOYS... have to be TOLD to shower. To bathe. To whatever. They will NOT do it unless they're told. I had my nephew here over the summer and he was 12. And boy did he ever stink. My mom tried to take him shopping and filled his basket with deodorant, shampoo and cond, soap and new socks. Toothbrush and hairbrush. It made me wonder what his life is really like at his home.

  3. My 9 year old daughter has such trouble getting all the shampoo out of her hair. Sometimes after a shower I'll try to help her comb it out and there are still bubbles everywhere. Oh the look I get when I tell her to get back in the shower!!

  4. my boy is the same way. We have an "every other day" rule. Meaning, he has to wash his hair every other time he takes a bath. Unfortunately, that doesn't guarantee that he bathes every day, though!

  5. Mine are 10 and almost-14. If I only have to instruct them once a week on How We Wash Our Hair, then it's a rare week indeed.

    Wet your hair, lather it with shampoo. Use your fingernails (yes, fingernails -- this is also how we clean our nails :P ) and scrub. Then rinse. Rinse, rinse, rinse!! Leave NO shampoo on your head (this means YOU, 10-year-old). Make sure your bangs are well washed and rinsed (this means YOU, teenager)...

    And the smaller one misses his neck almost religiously. Bless his little heart.

    I swear, though, I'm this close to laminating the instructions and hanging them in the shower.

  6. ha ha ha! This was awesome! My sons are 5 and 2 so I can still wash their hair but I know this day is coming soon...

  7. Jakes just turned 14 so I feel your pain. I've tried the quiet and tactful reminders, I've had the all out screaming matches with him to get in the shower so the rest of us in the house can breathe. I can't wait for the day when he spends HOURS hogging the bathroom!

  8. I actually make my 11 yr old let me smell her hair when she gets out of the shower so I can make sure she washed it good enough. So, it's not really any better with girls, I don't think.

    My oldest daughter has had to wear deodorant since she was...FOUR! Her pediatrician just said 'Yep, some kids are smellier than others.' Try showing up at your kindergarteners school because YOU forgot to put deodorant on her that morning. Good times, that.

  9. Hilarious!
    Ya, I had three boys.
    All they had to do was play for a minute, get a little sweaty and they smelled like wet dog feet.

    Know the smell.

    Good luck with the strawberry smelly hair on him.

  10. Lol. I know how it goes with boys. It took my son awhile before he decided that he didnt want to be known as the smelly kid.

  11. I don't want my kids to grow up! (I feel like I've had this conversation with my husband before...)

  12. Thank god its not just my 10yo i have to keep reminding to shower and wash hair

  13. Hahahaha! Oh yes, he's at that age. And yup, they do have to be reminded to shower, wash their hair, wear deodorant AND to change their underwear daily.

  14. My brother was a demon for going in the bathroom, and not actually showering. If Mum couldn't smell soap when he came out, he got sent right back in. And I was left waiting for my shower for ages...

  15. Ya they'll stand in that shower til the water turns cold, but for some reason that can overlook the 14 1/2 empty shampoo/odds & ends soap bottles altogether. Both of mine are like that. Apparently they think water comes with soap in it... so who needs to wash or shampoo up?

  16. Maybe your mention of the ladies will help? I use to smell my son's hair after a shower/bath just to make sure. Eventually he got tired of it and made sure he washed his hair.

  17. Lol - Lindsay Lohan's breath! Too funny!

  18. One of the things I am eternally grateful for , as the mother of 3 sons ( all grown ups now), is I NEVER had to tell them to bathe! EVER!!
    It was just part of their routine, in fact my youngest was know to shower twice a day!!! Complete with hair washing.
    Freaks of nature is what I birthed, freaks of nature!

  19. My daughter is 10 and we still have to debate about the shower sometimes. There are days when I don't have to say a word because she just volunteers and other times I have to go through a 30 minute ordeal of heavy sighs and eye rolling. Bottome line, girl is starting to get a few hairs springing up in places and there is no shame in a daily shower.

  20. My 7 year old just started doing her own hair in the last year, I wish I still did it just because I know it would be better but at least she does it well enough that she doesn't stink. I've still got control over the 3 & 5 year old though... wheew thank goodness! :)

  21. Tiger is already loving the deodrant ... hope it stays that way.

  22. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this is me and my 10 year old. Not just his hair, but his teeth.

    I realized last week that the same elderly man who camps out by the Blu Ray section at the library has heard me tell my 10 year old son "Don't breathe in my face, I can tell you haven't brushed your teeth EVEN THOUGH I told you to!" more times than I can tell.

    He's probably judging me for not making him brush them and supervising first-hand, and then humiliating the kid.

    As if his breath wasn't humiliating on its own!

    Thanks for the smile. :) It's nice not to feel alone in some things.


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