Monday, July 22, 2013

I Saw The Conjuring. I Was Afraid.

I knew it probably wasn’t a smart idea to go see The Conjuring when I’m home alone.

I mean, I jump when the fridge clicks on for God’s sake. I’ve always been jumpy. Tom finds this hilarious. He’ll pop out from various places and collapse in laughter when I nearly have a heart attack.

“It’s too easy!” he’ll say, clapping like an over enthused seal. “Too easy!’

But I thought to myself, self, you’re a grown adult. It’s time to get brave. You’ll be okay. Remind yourself that it is make believe.

(But. But. The movie is based on a true story, a tiny voice whispered inside my head. Hush. Hush, you.)

I’d be okay.

Yes, I was alone in the house. My Mom took my kids. My husband is deployed. But I did have the cat. My cat would protect me. (Unless he became distracted.)

My friend Jennifer and I got balcony seats to see The Conjuring because if you’re going to be freaked out, you might as well do it in style. We ordered cheese fries. Pepsi with grenadine. I could have had an adult beverage but I did not think it wise to be intoxicated and frightened.

So the movie began and I learned the following:

--if your pet refuses to go into your new home, it means something. Listen to your pet.

--if you find a blocked off cellar, do not, I repeat, do NOT investigate.

--if you suddenly get bruises all over, it might not be anemia. It could be an angry ghost wanting to possess you.

--if you purchase a home through a bank auction, do research on it. For the love of all things sacred. DO RESEARCH ON IT.

--Dolls are creepy. Do not collect them. They will frighten your guests.

Anyway. Yes, I jumped. I screeched. I covered my eyes.

I won’t spoil the movie but I will say that it was entertaining. Go see it.

Because really, I did okay when I got home to an empty house. Yes, I turned on all the lights. Yes, I watched a happy movie. (Bridesmaids.) Yes, I might have said out loud, “This is my home and evil spirits are not welcome here. If you want to bother someone, there’s this boy who seems to forget what belts and clothing in general are. His name is Justin Bieber.”

Yes, I hid under the covers when I went to bed but NOT until I realized I had woken up at 3 AM. In the movie, crazy shit happened at 307 AM. My heart immediately began to pound. I swore I saw a ghost hovering in the corner. It turned out to be the fan, but still. Under the covers I went. No ghost was going to possess me. I did not have time for that. I had a week of peace to myself and I planned on enjoying it.

I’m doing better now.

Go see The Conjuring.


  1. When I was a teenager I used to babysit a couple of kids fairly regularly. One night after the kids had gone to bed, I watched The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. That was a bad move!! I normally like scary movies, but that one freaked me out; especially because I was in a strange house at the time!

  2. HA HA HA!! Thanks to a teenage viewing of Candyman, I refuse to own a home that has a glass front medicine cabinet. I totally hear you on this post!-Ashley

  3. Eep. Once upon a time, my family and I moved into this giant open house on the side of a hill in Southern California. We were the second owners. I always felt creeped out in that house. There were several very weird things built into the house that we could never figure out.

    I found the floor plan to the house. It was an old yellowed rolled up floor plan of the whole house. According to the floor plan, there should have been a wine cellar below the dining room. And to access it, you had to go around to the side of the house, where a door was supposed to be. Well, I went around to the side of the house and indeed, there was a doorway. A bricked over, stucco'ed over doorway. There was a brick encasement built, as if there was going to be a staircase with a few steps going down to the door.

    There was no other access point to the cellar, according to the floor plan. So we lived there as if there wasn't one.

    We also had a weird wet bar in the family room. It looked like a bar from a wild west saloon, really. With high bar stools on one side, a kitchen sink and room for all kinds of drinks beneath the counter. It was a very weird house. Anyway, above the wet bar was a "false roof" and on top of that roof was railings and a little arched hobbit doorway on one of the walls. After living there for about 10 years, my sister finally braved enough to creep onto the false roof and see what that door was all about. There was nothing behind that door. Just a wall.

    There were strange things all over that house. A lot of hidden "wasted space" structures everywhere.

    I never stopped having the heebie jeebies until we moved out of there. My parents got divorced, had to sell the house, yadda yadda. And then I learned that the two families who bought the house after us, both set of parents also got divorced. Isn't that weird? Now that house is owned by some kind of corporation for whatever reason.

    I ALWAYS felt like I was being watched whenever I went by the dining room. CREEPY. I don't think I'll see The Conjuring.

  4. I am the same way!! My boyfriend does that same thing - he finds it absolutely freaking hilarious when he scares the heck out of me. I do not find it funny at all, even though I do get a kick out of scaring other people.. Ha ha.
    I can't watch scary movies alone, or be home alone afterwards. I am so paranoid its insane. I did think about going to see this movie though! But we don't have a sitter at the moment ha ha.

  5. Nope, not gonna do it. But I'm glad you liked it. Enjoy your alone time!

  6. Oh, my gosh, in my past house that I just moved out of, it was a two floor building and we lived upstairs. My 3 yr old and 2 year old shared a room and they used the extra room as a toy room. Well, one day my son came out and was telling us about the zombie he talked too. He said it was a little boy who fell out the window and liked to come visit and talk to him. And, I would hear whispering in my ear when I was alone...once I bent over to put something back in the fridge and I heard someone go "Hey." plain as freaking day in my ear. There was nobody else in the house! Then we switched the kids into separate rooms and put my daughter in that room and she's very laid back, doesn't scare easily. She would SCREAM and CRY and point to the closet saying Harry was in there. She'd only sleep if my son was in there too. Then he started waking up in the middle of the night and would cry and point at the closet saying Harry was in there. So we moved them both into our room since we were going to be moving. And one time my mom and brother came to stay and my brother slept in that room and was up on the computer and saw a little boy with blonde hair and jeans walk through the closet and into the kitchen. I was so done with that house. I couldn't wait to move. We had other things happen but I'm home alone right now and don't really want to freak myself out more.

  7. I so want to see that movie!! That's always a fear for me is to move into a haunted house. Scary!!

  8. I haven't seen a scary movie in a theater since I saw "The Sixth Sense" when I was only 18. Oh boy. That ruined me for life. Some people said it wasn't even scary. It was for me! I think I almost vomited from fear. I didn't even know that was possible.

  9. That movie was AMAZING! It takes a lot to make me jump and creep me out but that movie did it! My husband jumped and screamed too which was hilarious! I didn't scream but I was majorly disturbed by everything that happened. I kind of want to go see it again!

  10. I want to see it! And I don't. I'm currently trying to convince my son that I *could* watch home; not on a big screen. In broad daylight. He's doubtful.

  11. I have an over-active imagination so yes, every time I watch a horror movie, I scare myself with imaginary ghosts all. the. time. I was terrified for weeks after watching The Others.

  12. LMAO!! We are sister souls I swear!! I will not be seeing that movie though. When the commercials come I actually squeeze my eyes shut and put my fingers in my ears and go "lalalalala" .... Mr. Big just laughs at me and tries to scare me. He put me through all of the SAW movies, in marathon form, I'm not about to go through another terrifying movie - I don't care if its real, fake, or whatever. No thank you. I value my sleep and my regular heart rhythm.

  13. I can't believe you came home to an empty house! I used to love scary movies as a kid/teenager and then something flipped and I can't do it anymore. I think what happened was a friend of mine posed the question, "What if you don't say the word but you think 'candyman' while looking in a mirror. Will he still come kill you?" I can't shake that still.

  14. I want to go see it, so does boyfriend but we are NOT going to see it at night! Then I'll have to come home to an empty house with an elderly, blind, deaf dog who can't protect me from a bug!
    Lord help me if I see this movie, I've heard it will scare the bejeezus out of u.

  15. You made me giggle. I am DYING to see this movie. If we can coordinate schedules, my son and I are going to see it together.
    By the way I thought of you the other day, I tried the Wendy's pretzel bacon cheeseburger. Yum-o!

  16. It's nice to know that I'm not the only girl that freaks out to scary movies. By "girl" I mean 34 year old. And "scary" is most anything that can make a scaredy like me jump. I woke up talk to myself at 12:30am this morning, and my kids thought it was hilarious!!


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