Monday, August 5, 2013

I Cannot Co-Sleep

I opened my eyes and jumped.

Natalie was right in front of my face. I could see her outline in the darkness and was not amused.

"I scared you, Mommy," she said cheerfully. "I got right in front of you."

"I see that. It's not a wise thing for you to do," I explained. My reflex might have been to punch. I do not deal well with sudden happenings.

Of course, the fact that she was in my room was a sudden happening.

We are at the beach and stay at a rented condo. The kids have their own room and I have another. But Natalie kept torturing Tommy the first night: jumping on him, tugging on his feet, asking a million questions. It got to the point where he was in tears. He knows he cannot strike his sister so all he can do is sit and take it while frustration builds. So I removed Natalie and put her in with me, since Tom isn't here. (She was insulted that I took her away. "Tommy will miss me!" she insisted. "No I won't! Not at all," Tommy promptly responded.)

I do not co-sleep.

I have never co-slept.

I don't look down on those who co-sleep but it is not, will not, ever be for me.

This was reiterated when I plucked Natalie down on the bed. Now, there were two twin beds in the room so we weren't sharing a bed at least. But she was still in my space. I'm of the firm belief that children belong in their own rooms. The evening is when I get MY time. Downtime. Kid free time.

Natalie was not making my life easy.

She tried to frighten me.

She began asking questions.

"What is your favorite My Little Pony? Mine is Rainbow Dash. Or maybe Pinkie Pie. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Mine is Rapunzel but I do like them all. Why do you have hair on your toes? That's gross. Why can't you swim very well? I thought adults were supposed to know how to swim."

And on. And on. And on.

At this point it was 11. My daughter is a night owl. I normally don't mind because she's in HER room entertaining herself.

"It's bedtime," I reminded her for what seemed like the millionth time. "We can talk in the morning."

"You won't though. You say you need time to wake up," Natalie pouted.

"I'll tell you when it's a proper time to converse, I promise."


I thought, "Yes, she's asleep!"

Then, "Mommy? Sometimes kids fart at school."


I shut my eyes. I was about to drift off and then....*shuffle shuffle shuffle* Natalie couldn't get comfortable on her bed. And it squeaked. So I'd hear, "Eeee eeee eee," and I think she figured this out too because she kept making the bed "talk."

"Natalie! Please hold still," I begged. "I'm very tired."


"Eeee. Eee. Eee."

I seriously was close to depositing her out in the hall. I could throw out some blankets and pillows and lie and say it was a privilege to sleep in the hall. But no, that would be mean, wouldn't it? Still. She wasn't BEING QUIET.

It was probably around midnight when Natalie went still. The good news is that because she stays up so late, she sleeps in until 930-10. Yes, I will have to correct her sleep when school begins but during the summer I'm pretty lax.

We leave the beach tomorrow. By then I'll have shared my room for 5 days.

I am very much looking forward to having my own room and my own bed again.


It's not for me.


  1. I co slept when they were little. But as soon as they were moved to their room, that was it. I can not stand to share a room with them now.

  2. I made the mistake of co-sleeping with our first and then bringing her back into our bed during deployment. Biggest mistake ever. I can't get my own freaking space now!

  3. I couldn't help but chuckle at this post! I know what you mean though. My son, he is three, often crawls into my bed when he can't sleep.. He's little so he doesn't take up much room, but he never stops moving! I'm always getting smacked in the head, kicked in the back, elbowed, etc. Hard to sleep while getting beat up!

  4. I only "co-sleep" for those last 30 minutes in the morning if it means my little will sleep, too. :)

  5. That's how it is when I try to have a "sleepover" with my three year old. No thanks :)

  6. I was dying at "I'll tell you when it's a proper time to converse, I promise." I do co-sleep with my almost 2 year old and we are headed down this path I'm quite sure... He screams "No Mama go night night!" anytime I lie down.

  7. Too Funny!!! I can just see you finally settling in for sleep and then the squeaking begins!!!

  8. My husband was a co-sleeper when his son was younger. I on the other hand am not.

    You held it together. Good job! I'd have done the hallway technique.

  9. I feel your pain! We are all in a hotel room right now, and my 3 year old will not sleep. She just keeps talking or making noise. I have to lie down next to her and wait for her to fall asleep. It was 11 last night before she was out.

  10. I am right there with you. I can barely tolerate my husband in the bed with me..I like to have it all to myself lol.

    In the summer hours, unless we have a day appointment, we totally flip our schedules. I am a night owl and so is Alex, so she and I are usually still awake when the sun comes up. That is the only thing I will miss when school starts in ten days!

  11. I don't know how people do it!! I slept with my 4 year old son while out of town last week and, let's just say it didn't go well. Besides from the way too early rising/attempts to explain it wasn't "awake time" yet, my angel kept clocking me in the face all.night.long. Who knew he was such a thrasher?? It was also awesome when I had a massive attempt to sneak in as to not wake him up and ended up tripping, then smashing my face into the furniture so hard what I thought was a minor nose bleed at the time, looked more like an episode of Dexter when I woke up. Awesome.

    Love your 11 ref. I tried to explain that to my babysitter and it was painful to hear.


  12. My kids and I cannot co-sleep either. Actually my sons don't want to co-sleep. I've tried to get them in bed with me a few times when they are having rouble settling or if they wake up too early, but they won't do it! Fine by me!

  13. "Sometimes kids fart at school." That is hilarious!! I have never co-slept with my daughter. She was the worst, even as a newborn. Now she's better. My son was different and we'd have a joyful hour of sleeping together after his early morning nursing session for awhile. Now he's worse. I give up!

  14. I could not co sleep...hellll no!

  15. I feel ya. I never did it on a regular basis. I'm too grouchy of a waker, and too jumpy when I'm woken suddenly. And, I just don't wanna.

  16. I used to co-sleep alot. I can't imagine not doing it. I miss having my littles in the bed...but yeah, if one of mine talked like that, out in the hall you go!


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