Monday, September 9, 2013

He Used The Wrong Your

“WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY DO I KEEP GETTING HIT? I’M SICK OF IT!” Tommy screamed from his bedroom.

Don’t be alarmed.

He was screeching about his Mario Kart game.

I went upstairs to his bedroom and found him red-faced and glaring at his Nintendo 3DS.

“Hey, calm down,” I snapped. “We don’t act like that when we lose.”

Tommy’s lips clenched. “But…I keep getting hit by OBJECTS and it’s just NOT FAIR!”

“It’s a game,” I reminded him even though I was being a total hypocrite. When he’s at school I’ll occasionally play Angry Birds and I once shoved my iPod Touch under the couch cushion because I swore the game was cheating. I also might have let out a string of expletives. BUT. I do NOT behave like a lunatic when my kids are home. (For the most part..)

Still. It seemed that Tommy inherited my temper.

As well as Tom’s. Tom, it should be noted, plays computer games like Call of Duty and he’s been known to shout. When I call him out on it he’s like, “My teammates aren’t helping and I’m sick of losing because of them!” Or he’ll bellow, “Lag, lag, lag, I’m so motherfu*king tired of this LAG! AMBER! Call our Internet service and demand to know what is up with this LAG!”


We’re working on it.

Tommy hasn’t heard or seen an episode from us in over a year and I do not want him to behave like that when he loses so I warned him if I heard him yell again that I was taking away his Nintendo 3DS.

“Fine,” Tommy pouted.

All was well for twenty minutes. And then…


(Imagine if someone walking past the house heard that. Wrong conclusions could be jumped to and then I’d have the military police surrounding my house. Awkward.)

I went upstairs and Tommy immediately burst into tears.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again. Don’t take it from me!”

I’d react the same way if someone tried to take my iPhone.


He had to learn. So I took it anyway.

“YOU ARE MEAN!” Tommy screeched. “THE WORST EVER!” He began banging his body against his mattress. This helps him calm down. I left as he did this and told him if he behaved he could have the game in a couple of hours.

“MEAN!” he bellowed again.

Ten minutes later Natalie came over to me.

“Um,” she said. “Tommy said I hadded to give this to you.” She held up a piece of paper.

“Had,” I corrected, taking the paper. “We don’t speak WalMart.” I peered down and my mouth dropped open.

“Tommy!” I shouted. “Son!”

I rushed up the stairs and threw open his door. “What is the meaning of this?” I held up the paper dramatically.

Tommy looked afraid. His face was streaked with tears and he had a snot bubble in his left nostril. Aw. He cries like his momma. “I’m sorry!” he said. “I was angry! I don’t hate you! I—”

“What’s THIS?” I pointed at the YOUR.

Tommy sniffled. “What?”

“What’s THIS?” I wailed. “After all I taught you. After everything I’ve instilled in you.”

Tommy was at a loss for words. He gaped at me like a fish.

“It’s the wrong YOUR. It’s supposed to be Y-O-U APOSTROPHE R-E. You know this! Please tell me you know this. Please don’t turn into one of those adults who write Y-O-U-R welcome. You know better. I taught you better!”

Tommy wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “I….forgot?”

I nodded briskly. “See that it doesn’t happen again.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “I am sorry,” he muttered.

He did behave the rest of the night and he did get his game returned. I’m pleased to say that he did not shout at it.

And I’m pleased to say that I’m working incredibly hard on raising kids who have an understanding for basic grammar.


  1. “We don’t speak WalMart.” HAHA! Amazing! And instilling good grammar...even when writing a hate note...even more amazing. I want to be just like you when I'm a mom.

  2. We don't speak Wal-Mart ... that is freaking amazing!

  3. Way to go, Mom.
    Man that drives me bat-shit crazy too...I love the FaceBook rants that are full of those :)

  4. As a writing coach, I applaud your method of teaching Grammar rules. So inspiring. I loved your post. Followed you from SITS. Have a blessed day!

  5. LOVE!!! The whole "your" "you're" thing bugs the heck out of me too. And I had a good chuckle at "We don't speak Wal Mart"!!

    Stopping by from SITS!

  6. As a writer at work, my son's spelling drives me CRAZY. But I can't correct him because then we have an argument. grrrrrrrr.

    I love "we don't speak Wal-mart"! Too funny!

  7. Of all the things to get riled up about...LOL!!! For the record, your priorities are admirable. :)

  8. Bwahahahahaha! I cannot tell you how much I love this story. You come by your temper with electronic games honestly son. I get that...but you SHALL NOT USE THE WRONG your or you're! That is going too far!! Hahahaha. Way to go mom. --Lisa

  9. Haha, that's one way to distract him.

  10. hahahahaha! YOU'RE awesome!! "Your" instead of "you're" drives me crazy as well :) My three year old said "I hate Mommy" the other day when I told him no for something... and so it begins

  11. Oh dear - this made me laugh. Should it have? There should be more moms like this.
    I had such a bad "Nintendo Temper" that my mom walked in when I was like ten and I was swearing at my game with a string, of, "F***, S***, F*** S***."
    I'm the worst.

  12. I didn't think I'd get addicted to games, but Candy Crush has got me crushed and I'll admit to saying some swear words!

    Love the whole your/you're lesson! :)

  13. LOLOL Love it! I almost want to throatpunch my teen when he starts freaking over dying in Call of Duty. Get a grip dude!

  14. If you are considered the worst mom ever, then you know you are doing a good job :)

    Also, we yell at video games, too :) Sounds like our house!

  15. Omg this had me rolling. You are so hilarious!

  16. So funny, I wonder if he is going to remember that when he is an adult one day ... the day my mom got cross cause I used your i/o you're and not because I wrote a letter to say she is the worst mom ever.

  17. Awesome! Way to keep your eye on what's important!! I love that he said he hates you "kind of." Great story!!

  18. Also, I just saw this and it made me think of this story.

  19. ahahaha!! Such interesting priorities. I also find the perspective of feeling like the game itself is cheating to be pretty hilarious--maybe it's a good thing I don't play computer games.

  20. I love that you got mad about the "your" and not what he said! Classic! I hope you be a great mom like you one day!

  21. This is simply amazing!!! You are a
    SO fabulous. :-)

  22. Oh we have those melt downs on Super Mario - mind you the child I am referencing plays the same level, over and over and over and over and, well I guess you get the point...but as for spelling, I'm so with you on that! My kids are slowly learning that they need to get their grammar down or else!

  23. This is freaking awesome.

  24. I am laughing out loud at this!! Gotta use the "speaking Walmart" line. You go grammar girl!

  25. Hahaha it sounds like you totally threw Tommy off guard, hilarious story!

  26. You are my kind of mommy! HAHAHAHA!!!!

  27. My son falls on the floor all the time....I know it feels good to him but OUCH!

    The other day my daughter and I went to Walmart and she was like, "I don't look very nice." (she had on shorts and a t-shirt) I told her, "We are in Walmart, you will look fine compared to a lot of people we see in here." LOL

  28. I'm so glad you focused on what was really important. All of his social media contacts for years to come will thank you. Or, the smart ones will. I thank you.

    Happy Sharefest.


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