Friday, October 18, 2013

When A Deployed Spouse Comes Home...

My husband has been home from deployment for almost two weeks now. It's been fantastic having him home. However, there have been some adjustments and I'd like to share a few of them.


I'll buy a product if I have a coupon for it if I know it tastes okay. I happened to purchase some syrup that I had a coupon for. The other day Tom made pancakes and was going through the cabinet. He kept going, "Where is Mrs. Butterworth?" and I said, "Oh, I didn't have a coupon for that, but I did for this one. Really, they taste the same." I handed him the bottle and Tom looked at it as though it were made of bird shit. "Where's Mrs. Butterworth?" he repeated. He gets set in his ways. This is the man who only likes Duncan Hines brownies.


I'm one of those people who LOVE having the bed to myself. I'll stretch out. I'll bundle myself into the covers. It's a beautiful thing. When Tom came back I had to stay on my side. At one point I woke up thinking we had an angry bear in the room but no, it was just Tom snoring.


I used to watch whatever I wanted. At night I'd settle in for a night of horrible reality TV and hospital dramas. Tom doesn't like any of that. I tried explaining Scandal to him "Tom, this man named Huck is fantastic. 752 he once said over and over. He had a FAMILY! SEVEN FIFTY TWOOOO!" Tom was like, "That sounds awful. Pass." So then we watched Worlds Dumbest and witnessed someone setting their fart on fire. My DVR is full of all my shows that offends Tom's eyes.


I am NOT a morning person. Tom is used to being up so he's all ready to comment on the world's issues as he watches Fox News. He's rambling on at 650 AM and I'm sitting there on the couch, comatose. He'll go, "Are you okay? Are you angry?" and I'm like, "gdalkjafdk," because words do not form before 8 and he doesn't understand. I want to be a bright eyed wife who is ready to talk politics but I cannot early in the morning.


I'm kidding. I only wore makeup the first three days he was home to remind him of what he left behind. After that I was like, "Okay, he gets to see my pale skin and dark rimmed eyes because dammit, it's who I am." I also farted the other day and Tom was like, "I was wondering when I'd hear that again." I had been holding those back too. He also let one loose and managed to clear the room. Man farts are the worst. Especially after deviled eggs have been consumed.


This is really not an adjustment. I just missed this. At 8 every night we spend time together until we go to bed at 11. Tom likes to play computer games and he knows at 8 that it's time to log off. We'll usually watch TV (generally things like Family Guy or Brooklyn Nine Nine) or movies. We'll share sparkling grape juice because neither of us has found a wine we enjoy. He'll tell me that no, the shadow in the room is NOT a ghost but really a pile of papers that I insist I need even though they have been sitting there for ages. I'm so happy that he's home. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he won't have to go away for a long time. I have an overactive imagination...I need my voice of reason with me.


  1. I'm with you - the adjustments are hard but that time together in the evening (even if it's just sitting in the same room watching TV together) is unbeatable!! Glad y'all are back to enjoying that!!

  2. I am a fan of Mrs. Butterworth too, but deals always win out.

  3. I'm so happy for you that he's home! But I imagine it is an adjustment. I don't like to talk to anyone in the morning either!

  4. Husbands, How we love them How they annoy us. How we love them. Happy for you and your ability to fart openly

  5. Back in May James had surgery and slept a full 6 weeks on the couch because it hurt to lay down. I hear ya and the loving getting the whole bed to yourself thing! Really glad Tom is home for you and that you're happy.

  6. Oh, I can totally see this. My husband snores like a bear, too. When he's away traveling it's blissful quiet sleep. When he returns home it's always an adjustment. GAH!!!
    So glad your hubby is home and you guys are getting your time together (and that you can fart again. :) --Lisa

  7. So happy he's home! I think sharing the bed would be the hardest adjustment to make. Fingers crossed that he stays home for a long time before the next deployment.

  8. I can imagine that's quite an adjustment. I actually have a lot of fond memories of my husband being away and me watching really bad Christmas movies with popcorn AND ice cream.
    You cracked me up with the farting comment. I'm so glad you two have found your way there again.

  9. Oh no, I'd have drawn the line at fart lighting. Unless it was in real life, that'd have been funny. Maybe keep that for another time!
    I'm so glad he's back, hope you have to share the bed for a very long time!

  10. I am glad he is home but that must be difficult to adjust to. If my husband is home more than 3 days I want to smack him...but I love him to pieces! ( By the way, I see him everyday...he is home by 3:30).

  11. So...what I really got from this post (besides nodding my head in agreement because my hubby is a shift worker and I also get used to those extra few inches in the bed...wait...what?!) .... is that you really need me to send you some Canadian maple syrup. :)

  12. Try some spumante. It's sparkling sweet wine. Yummo!

  13. Yip, that is how it goes in our house since the man works nights ... and then on the nights he is home I have to be accommodating :)

  14. I'm definitely feeling you on the sharing the bed thing. My husband seems to take up 75% of the bed and makes me feel like I'm balancing on the edge the whole night. I miss being able to spread out.

  15. Ha!! I love this!! I can so relate because that is my life!! Except the farting - I don't fart in front of him. He farts in front of me but I can't...I don't know...I'm just weird that way I guess LOL


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