Friday, November 1, 2013

When People Disagree

I love junk food.

This has never been a secret as I've posted many pictures of the things I like to consume. (Donuts, candy bars, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups have all made multiple appearances on my blog. Among other things.)

Yesterday I posted this on my Facebook page:

Spaghetti for dinner! The real kind, not that healthy wheat stuff.

I do not like the wheat noodles. I think they taste like cardboard. Not for me.


This caused a reader of mine to make a comment. I won't copy word for word what she said but it was basically the fact that she couldn't understand why I would encourage bad eating habits when the country has a lot of obese kids and that I was being irresponsible.

Now, I'm fine with opinions. I encourage them. I would not want everyone to think or behave like I do. But it did rub me the wrong way when I was called irresponsible so yes, I replied and reminded her that it was my page and that I'd post what I wanted on it. I said that my kids do eat healthy foods, in fact, my daughter will sometimes ask for fruit or vegetables over a cookie. I simply don't always write about it. Why? Because who wants to read about someone eating an apple? Boring. I'd much rather hear that someone is eating a spectacular cupcake or something.

A lot of my Facebook friends chimed in, agreeing with me, stating that they didn't see why she was calling me irresponsible. I did not ask anyone to do this. My friends have brains of their own. But the reader who had left the irresponsible comment said that she didn't understand why I was encouraging the reaction from my friends...and I wasn't. She went on to say that she has read my blog, bought my book, and that she was disappointed in the reaction.

I immediately felt guilty.

It was NOT my intention to make her feel bad. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my blog. I appreciate everyone who has purchased my book. I always want people to feel comfortable if they follow me online.

I understand her comment: she's worried that my poor habits might rub off on my kids. I get it. But honestly, I tend to pig out when they aren't around because frankly I don't want to share. We always have fruits and vegetables in the house. My kids mainly drink water (my son will only drink water. Natalie mostly drinks water but she does branch out and gets a cup of Sprite or Sweet Tea once in awhile.) My daughter LOVES healthy snacks. But again, I don't always write about it so I can understand why readers might think, oh man, she only has junk food in that house. Because that's what I choose to SHARE.

My kids are UNDERweight but are perfectly healthy. They have never had a cavity either. And yes, I know people can be skinny and still be unhealthy. But my kids ARE healthy. I don't shove junk down their throats. They know what healthy foods are, I promise.

If that reader is reading this now, again, I do apologize. It was never my intention for it to become a big thing. I respect your opinion but understand that it did hurt my feelings to be called irresponsible when I was simply stating what we were having for dinner.

So anyway, that was my online fun. I totally get that not everyone will agree with the way I live my life and that's okay. I am who I am.

I am who I am and I will always have Little Debbie snacks in my cupboard and will never serve wheat noodles in my home.


  1. Oh! I know why you wrote that about wheat pasta...BECAUSE IT TASTES AWFUL!
    She wrote something unkind and overly judgmental. When she was called on it, she felt bad. Well, she *should* feel bad. It was uncalled for on a lighthearted and cute FB entry.

    I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about or to apologize for. She is the one that owes you an apology. Sure, everyone has their right to their own opinion, but how you chose to express it and in what context, does make a difference. --Lisa

  2. I'm with Lisa - I don't think you should have to apologize or justify anything!! I agree that everyone is entitled to an opinion but sometimes the manner they say something isn't OK.
    And - part of the reason I work out so hard is because some days I have cookies for breakfast!!! (after my boys are at school) And we don't do the wheat pasta either.

  3. I agree also that whole wheat tastes awful.
    It sounds like you have a perfectly fine diet and anyway it's no one else's business but yours.

  4. I'm not a fan of whole wheat either. I want my food to taste good, otherwise why bother eating it.

  5. We own an organic pork and beef farm. We sell healthy raw milk to lots of people. And yet at night because we are very tired from our work we might have a big bowl of Captain Crunch for dinner. Because THIS IS AMERICA and folks come from all over the world to eat our Captain Crunch that's why. Don't worry mother of Natalie, you're a great mommie with a great blog. Carry on.

  6. You are an absolutely delightful person. It's very refreshing for someone to share truthfully about her life. I so enjoy your blog and I'm so happy I stumbled upon it. I look forward to it every day. BTW, who can eat that horrible whole wheat pasta? It's disgusting.

  7. I've thought about trying whole wheat pasta and now I'm not so sure I should! And in your defense, I've seen studies that say allow your kids a small amount of sugar on a regular basis is actually good for them! You just keep on doing what you're doing and be proud of the choices you make as a mom. If someone else makes different choices, then so be it!

  8. I appreciate your junk food talks more than if you were like "and then we had apples all day!" Haha. I could see how someone could react that way to that status... but you know, some people just take things too seriously. Eat your non-whole wheat pasta as much as you like!

  9. I think she was judgy and needs to lighten up. It was a holiday, anyway, and it's not like wheat noodles are even more than a fraction healthier than not whole wheat noodles. And they taste like crap. On a holiday.

    That said, after I had my first baby, I made a TOTAL JOKE status on FB saying, "Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, lunch and dinner." It was a big joke but it was a way to show appreciation for my friends who had sent us a big fresh shipment of cinnamon rolls as a new baby gift. I don't even like cinnamon rolls. One of my mom's friends saw my status and wrote MY MOM (not me, mind you) a long email about how she was concerned about my nutrition and she gave a long list of what I should be eating)

    I was so pissed that she was not treating me like an adult. And it was a joke. And mainly, it was none of her business. She just..had nothing better to do, the poor sad thing.

    Anyway, I just wrote you a book! I know people have their reasons but I would never call someone out on FB for something I can't pretend I really know about them. Especially something like this. Now if you said, "My children smoke a pack of cigarettes a day." That's different.

  10. Opinions are a wonderful thing. When you cross the line to name calling it's too much. You can not take a snapshot of someones life and expect to know what their life is like.

    People think because something is on the internet, they know the ENTIRE situation and are allowed to rudely call a person out.

    I wish more people would stop before they comment, and think about how it may be viewed by others. Snap judgements and self righteous behavior have become real issues in today's society.

    I'm sorry this happened to you, but you have no reason to feel guilty. The others were just standing up for a friend that had been wrongly attacked.

  11. First of all, your reader is thinking about obesity in the wrongest way possible. Obesity is not necessarily all about choice. Obesity is a disease. And it is not for anyone to judge anyone else who may be obese. It irritates me to no end that whoever that reader was thinks that she is "better" or "wiser" because she thinks wheat is better. HELLO, there are people who are allergic to wheat!

    Second, it is nobody's job on the face of earth to judge anybody else. It really isn't. If anyone thinks its OK to judge... they got a big surprise coming.

    I like you exactly the way you are. Little Debbies and unshaved legs because it's winter and all.

  12. Wheat noodles are gross! I like that you are honest about your junk food. I love sweets, but balance it with healthy meals. It is nice to know there are other junk food lovers.

  13. I'm all for people sharing their opinions, and you know, differing opinions make the world interesting. But popping on your facebook to call you irresponsible is rude. And that's not cool. Like one of the commenters said, you were giving a snapshot of a moment - for a person to make such a broad judgement was way off base.

    I'm so tired of judgemental people... I wish the world was like Planet Fitness - a judgment free zone.

  14. and really... is whole wheat pasta really that much "better" for you than white pasta? You'd just get another set of people telling you that you are poisoning your children with carbs either way.Its all good and I hope you enjoyed your delicious, and perfectly acceptable, dinner :)

  15. I wouldn't eat WW pasta either.

    I'm surprised that someone would have an opinion about what you post anywhere. I read your blog for pure enjoyment and a dose of snarkiness. I love it.

  16. Obese children are not obese because they don't eat wheat pasta, they are obese for a whole range of reasons, if it was as simple as a few little food switches, it wouldn't be such a problem. Teaching them that it's OK to have junk once in a while, as long as you have plenty of veggies and stuff is actually more responsible than banning it altogether, at least in my opinion.
    I think people forget that blogs only show bits of our lives, how can I really know how healthy your diet is from the funny stories you pick out of your day to share?

  17. Carbs are cars, whether they're wheat or not. Spaghetti is referred to commonly as a comfort food for a reason. Don't let anyone get you down, you're an awesome mom!

  18. I can't do wheat pasta either. Sorry that happened. I understand the disagreement, but I don't think it had to go to the extent of you being "irresponsible".

  19. I just don't believe that anyone read your post and said OMG, Amber doesn't eat wheat noodles so I'm not either, let me go buy some spaghetti RIGHT NOW and not that healthy wheat crap either." Bloggers are not THAT influential, that's just ridiculous. It's not even like you said "People who eat wheat pasta are losers." You are allowed to eat what you want, AND post about it. I don't consider that irresponsible at all.

  20. First off, I realize we are not "friends" on fb, so perhaps I'll have to fix that.

    Second, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Without having read your post and the other comments, it sounds like it's the other person who crossed the line. Perhaps she gave a differing opinion in a less than sensitive way and our friends picked up on it and came to your defense. That's on her not you.

    Everyone can disagree, they just need to do so respectfully!

  21. Our kids eat everything and are nowhere near being obese. My oldest won't touch any veggies other than carrots…whatever, as parents we try, that's all we can do.

    On that note, did you hear about the lady who wanted to hand out a "fat letter" to kids that she felt shouldn't, have candy on Halloween?


  22. Fine for me!

    I like to eat a little bit of everything, including junk food from time to time!
    Man, if I lived in my own place I'd be baking deliciousness every weekend, too!

  23. I don't believe you should ever apologise to someone for what you think, feel and say. If they are upset that is their problem to deal with not yours.

    You simply posted about spaghetti and she accused you of being irresponsible.

    What a load of bullshit!!!!

    For a start, YOU ARE NOT responsible for the rest of the world only you and your children, and secondly, she needs to mind her own bloody business, and if she cannot understand why and how you posted, after supposedly being a reader of your blog and book she should know what you're like, then she clearly has no idea about you.

    Get rid of her and DON'T APOLOGISE EVER!

  24. I'm calling the police. You won't feed your kids whole wheat pasta. What a horrible, neglectful mother you are!

    In all seriousness, people get their panties in a bunch and sometimes they get stuck. I'm all for educating people and I'm all about listening to other people's opinions, but I'm tired of people thinking their way is the only way.

    And even if you feed your kids junk food from time to time, does that necessarily mean you do all the time?! Unless that person lives in your house or is a real close friend/family member, I doubt they have reason to be "concerned" and make judgment.

  25. I didn't see the post but I like your reaction here - everyone is entitled to their opinion but its a matter of how you state it. I love healthy food and my kids actually do too but honestly, its not all fruits and vegetables in my house either ((HUGS))


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