Monday, January 6, 2014

Shopping At Target With My Kid Gives Me A Headache

"Mommy! They can't stay in the car! They just can't. They're HUMAN BEINGS!" Natalie said dramatically.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. When did school start again? How much longer did I have to take her out with me? Sometimes she's not difficult but today....

"First of all," I started calmly, "they aren't human beings. They're stuffed. That's a stuffed Rapunzel and a stuffed shark. They'll be fine in the car."

Natalie stomped her foot down. "They don't want to! They'll be lonely! They want to shop too." She hugged Rapunzel close. "It's okay, Rapunzel, I won't leave you, ever."

Oh for heaven's sake.

"Fine. Take Rapunzel. The Shark stays."

Natalie sniffed. "That's fine. The shark prefers the car to Target."


We walked into the store and grabbed a cart. I placed Natalie in the basket of the cart for two reasons: 1) so she couldn't go far and 2) so it would prevent me from buying too much. Target has given me problems before. It's like it has something new that I feel I need around every corner. This worked great for ten minutes. Then Natalie was like, "My feet need to walk." I pretended I didn't hear her and continued to go through the 70% off clothing.

"I said," Natalie repeated, "my feet need to walk." She stood up and tugged on my arm. This caused a woman next to use to gasp.

"Don't fall out, dear," she said to Natalie.

"I won't. I balance. But my mommy won't let me out," Natalie tattled.

Thanks, kid. I lifted her out before the woman could accuse me of being cruel. WHEN DID SCHOOL START AGAIN?!

Shopping with Natalie takes a lot of the fun out of it. She doesn't find it appealing to search through clearanced clothes or read the backs of books. She'd prefer not to check the ends of aisles to make sure I don't miss a clearanced deal. No, what she wants to look at are...

"Mommy? When can we see the toys?"


And then she takes forever. And then she asks for the toy. And then she pouts when I say no.

Only when we went, she had Christmas money, so that meant she could get a toy.

She went up and down the toy aisles.

"You know you don't HAVE to spend your money," I reminded her. "You could save it."

Natalie gave me a Look as though I just told her Rapunzel farted.

"Saving is important," I continued.

Natalie blinked.

"If you don't find anything you want, you could save it," I reiterated.

"I want everything," Natalie said simply.

Oh. Well.

"But I think I'm going to get this cute cat." She picked up one of those fur-real friends that make noises. Lovely.

She also picked up Vanellope for her Disney Infinity game.

"Great. Ready to go?" I asked, which was a mistake, because all the experts say that you shouldn't ASK a child when you want them to do something, you should just SAY what will happen.

"No. I'm going to look at Legos now." She held her new kitty close. "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm taking you home."

We looked at Legos. And then we looked at Nerf guns. And then she had to touch every single ball in the store.

I was ready to go home.

"We're done!" I sing-songed. "Let's get back in the cart." I went to scoop her up and she backed up. "My kitty, Vanellope, and me don't want to do that. We'd like to walk."

"Fine," I said. "Let's head to check out."

"But," Natalie answered sweetly, "we didn't look at the candy."

I screamed.

No, I didn't. I wanted to. Instead I swallowed it down and said we could look at the candy and go.

This took another fifteen minutes. Natalie wanted her kitty and Vanellope to stare at all the choices.

"My kitty likes chocolate. Vanellope likes the gummy bears."

I know I'm supposed to cherish these moments with her. I know it. Soon she'll get older and want nothing to do with me. But I have my limits.

We eventually made our way out of the store. But not before Natalie said goodbye to her clothing section ("goodbye cute D-signed pants. Goodbye cute sweater!") and the makeup area, ("I can't wear you. Mommy says no and that I'm not a scary pageant child.")

School, by the way, starts tomorrow. Oklahoma gets a long break.

Lucky us?

When she gets older I imagine shopping trips will become more pleasant.

(I hope?)


  1. I would hate shopping with Natalie, although she is very polite! Enjoy the peace and quiet!

  2. Cracking up! Yeppers, this is shopping with children! I totally related to the ENTIRE post! :)-Ashley

  3. hilarious!! We got Dannika a pretend carseat for Christmas for her "babies", and now she insists that we "install" the carseat next to hers in the car everywhere we go.

  4. I figure they owe us a little bit of pain for all the dragging around with us we force them to do!

  5. Shopping with children is just something you don't do. Unless you are questioning someone for a crime. I think they may call that extreme interrogation tactics?

  6. HaHa, I so remember those days. I used to bribe the boys to cooperate while I checked out all the stuff I wanted to and then we would go wander through the toys. Of course by then I was done and ready to go and they were just getting started.
    I love how matter of fact Natalie is!

  7. I'm all for savoring the little moments and all that, but not at Target. Target is sacred, ya know?

  8. you really think shopping is better when they are older? *snicker* You just keep on telling yourself that!
    But when she is older about 12/13ish send a note, I can give you a few hints to get her in the car much quicker!! I had 1 daughter, 2 adopted daughters, 2 step daughters. So yes, I have experience. I still twitch and shudder sometimes.

  9. Wait, Rapunzel doesn't fart??

    We have a song and dance too. Only mine includes Des and he brings his favorite "Lambie" into the cart and last time he dropped her and I didn't notice and I had to go back in to the customer service desk, where someone was kind enough to turn in that slobbery thing.
    (that was all said in one breath)
    And Scarlet always wants ONE new toy and she butters me up for hours. And I always say yes. It's always one of those Palace Pets or Magi-clip dolls so we do stay under 5-6 bucks.

  10. You mean you don't love this? :)

  11. "Mommy says no and that I'm not a scary pageant child" - that cracked me up! :-D

    Courage! Less than one day left!

  12. I never take my children shopping when I am in the browsing mood. It just kills the mood - totally. And I am fairly certain these are the moments that we are Not expected to spelled that wrong:

  13. You make it almost want to take my 5 year old granddaughter to Target and shop. Oh wait...just kidding.

    You have the patience of a Saint. I hope you bought yourself a large chocolate bar.

  14. yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath that it will get easier. Next up - fighting over the clothes she wants to wear. At least that's what I hear.

  15. Haha, reminds me of that ecard where it mentions that you know you're a mom when a trip to the store alone is like a vacation. And it is. Every time!

  16. "I can't wear you. Mommy says no and that I'm not a scary pageant child." had me laughing so much! She's so adorable, but I'm sure you didn't really think so at that moment, huh? I've been lucky enough so far to not have to endure shopping trips with small children, but I imagine I would run out of patience quickly!

    The Girly Gamer

  17. Trips out to the store with my four children in toe are few and far between for just this reason;)

  18. hahaha!! I love eavesdropping on parent/child conversations in the store. My Mom used an interesting strategy with us when taking us shopping--she told us that asking for anything was rude (unless we were simply reminding her that she needed brown sugar or frozen chicken, something like that), and if we asked for anything, even if she was already planning to buy it, she wouldn't. A bit strict perhaps, but at one point there were 5 of us under 10...and it sure put us in the habit of never asking for anything--just hoping beyond hope that Mom would have the idea to buy ice cream and oreos all on her own. haha!!

  19. Thankfully my son teddy bear doesn't like to shop.

  20. Sounds about right! We've got all that and the "he's touching me" antics from the boys! I avoid shopping at all costs, so in a way I guess it saves me money!

  21. I love her imagination. Yes it does get easier when they get older.. my problem with Target. I was part of the credit card fiasco and have to get a new one. ugh

  22. I love her imagination. It does get easier as they get older, esp once they learn to drive, you won't have to go.
    I was even lucky enough to be part of their credit card fiasco, now the bank is sending me a new one. ugh

  23. You don't really think it will get easier when she gets older, do you? Oh my Word. Teenagers. And the WORST is when it's something for a special occasion. I'm having PTSD just thinking about it!

  24. Sounds like a recent trip I took to Target with my 5 and 2 year old kids. My 5 year old was being the annoying one. We got in a fight over whether he had enough time to look at toys or not, given he didn't want what I'd be okay spending on. It's hard to shop with kids in general. I go to my favorite thrift store at night so I can shop in peace!

  25. Ugh! Natalie sounds very well-mannered and I love her imagination. But I'm one of those people who goes to the store, looks at what I want to look at, and leaves very quickly. I can't stand lingering.

  26. Omgosh. You are going to really enjoy shopping trips with Natalie when she's older. My mom and I still shop together. I'm seriously going to miss that when we pcs.


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