Thursday, April 24, 2014

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Being Told Military Life Is Easy?!

"It must be nice to be a military family! Sounds pretty easy!"

I received this comment a couple of years ago on a blog post and it has always stuck with me.



Sure, saying goodbye to my husband every year is super easy.

Not being able to plan because you don't know what will pop up? Simple!

I'm pretty frustrated at the moment because we had plans for June. Tom had his leave scheduled so we could go to Texas for a family reunion at the beach.

And then?

Well, a couple days ago he was told, sorry, you can't go, you have to go to NCOA. For the non-military folks, it means non-commissioned officer academy. Since Tom is E-6 (or tech sgt in the Air Force), he has to go to this six week course to learn how to be a proper non-commissioned officer.

I mean...of all the times for him to have to go! The one month we had plans.

But that's military life.

Last year he was supposed to come with us to Disney World. But he got put on a deployment and couldn't.

This year I thought, yay, he'll be here for my birthday. (It's June 19th.) He'll be here for the family reunion.


When Tom told me he had to go, I had a mini breakdown. I'm not one of those wives who squares her shoulders and says things like, "We'll work it out. We'll be okay." I have real emotions.

I said the Air Force could kiss my ass.

I told him if they tried to deploy him during Spring Break next year that he'd have to say he couldn't, he had plans, we're going to Disney World, send someone else, one of those single troops.

But it's not how the military works. If he has to deploy, he can't decline. Odds are, I'll be alone when we go to Disney World next year.

I also shrieked, "I'm just tired of all the bullshit."

I ugly cried.

Tom cautiously passed over the tissue box. "You have snot....all over.." He gestured to my face.

I know it's not his fault. But it's so incredibly frustrating. How are these troops supposed to have a good family life if the military won't allow it?

It doesn't help that congress keeps taking away from our military members. A bunch of troops are getting kicked out this summer to help save money! You can imagine how morale is. But Congress still gets their hefty paychecks and their free lunches and vacations.

So I get to go on another trip without my husband.

Military life is easy?


I wish.


  1. This life sucks. My husband went to the advanced course (which is the Marine Corps version of Tom's NCOA) at the beginning of the year, and we found out literally two weeks before he had to go to this 8 week course. Super lame! I hope at least you get to go to the reunion!

  2. I think that military spouses try so hard to be positive about everything and people are tricked into thinking it's not as bad as it is. Of course it isn't easy!

  3. I don't see how someone can actually SAY "military life is easy" what are they smoking? They obviously have NO clue how the military works! I have had several friends go into the military, some married to someone in the service, and I worked for the Army for 5 years - it is NOT easy!

  4. Wow.

    I'm not from a military family. I have lots of friends who are though. However, NO TRUER WORDS have been said than this:

    But Congress still gets their hefty paychecks and their free lunches and vacations.

    I'm sure military life is tough. Especially when those who have NO CLUE what it's like is dictating it. I've never been more disgusted in our government than I have been these last few years.

    I've always heard military wives were tougher though. Which you shouldn't HAVE to be...but you are.

    I'm sorry. I hate it for you. He's only as good as he is because of you and your support, encouragement and love.

    You're the backbone of our military, sister. =)

  5. I can't believe someone said military life is an easy one! I can't even IMAGINE going through the constant moves, deployments, etc.

  6. Posting a comment like that takes balls.

    It's time for Congress to sacrifice some of their checks, benefits, pensions, and time off.

  7. I've been seeing a lot of idiotic comments lately. That comment that was left for you has got to be one of the most idiotic. Who ever thought military life would be easy?! Get your head out of your ass!

  8. Wow. I am not in the military and the closest I've been to being in the military is being in JROTC in high school. I just can't believe that anyone would think military life is easy. I'm flabbergasted.

  9. Trade places with one of us just for a month and see how easy it is. What a crock of crap!

  10. There are no words to explain how incredibly rude (and naive) that comment was.

    No, military life is not easy. Everyone faces challenges due to their chosen profession (LEOs included), but nothing- NOTHING- compares to military life. Sure, you get some great benefits, but nothing outweighs the sacrifices you have to make as a family.

    Being in the military isn't just a job, it's your LIFE. As you point out, you aren't in control of your personal/family life because the military literally controls every aspect of your life.

    Thanks for the sacrifices you make as a family so your husband can serve our country.

  11. I cannot imagine why? Why would it be easy? In what respect? So weird.
    Family life in general is difficult, but to be doing it and not knowing when he'll be home and when you'll be on your own? HARD.

  12. Im so sorry that sounds anything BUT easy!

  13. I have no experience as a member of a military family but I can't imagine anyone saying that it's an easy life. I am grateful to your husband and all his fellow soldiers and their amazing families for all that they do and it makes me sad and sick that you aren't compensated better for the sacrifices you make in your lives to protect our freedom.

  14. Amber, I've been reading your blog for a while now. I can only imagine how you must feel and what Military life is like. It certainly doesn't sound easy to me! Ugh.
    It must be incredibly difficult. I'm so sorry :(

  15. I hate it when people leak their stupid all over someone's blog.
    most irritating.

    because of all the douchery things to say..!!!?? Yeah, it's super awesome not having my hubby around for great lengths of time. Oh, and he might get dead too! No biggie.

    This person needs a throat punch.

    I get the same stupid stuff because hubby is a cop. Oh, it must be hard sitting around drinking coffee and eating donuts. Yes, you're right - that's exactly what he does all day. That 4 year old boy the sick creeper peeper (probably lives in your neighbourhood!!) took just freed himself from the cage he'd been kept in for 4 days.

    What did your husband do today?

  16. I wonder what prompted those people to say that. Even before I read this, I never would. It must be INCREDIBLY frustrating not being able to make plans, or to make plans and have them dashed. Hang in there. Your husband is certainly his country proud and you are doing a service for all of us being his support. I'm sure you and the kids are the reason he works for hard.

  17. That sounds so stressful! I am never going to complain again when my husband just has to work extra hours on certain nights.

  18. One of my favorites was: "You don't have to pay for anything, everything is free."
    I never took anything well when I was first told.
    Hugs to you!

  19. Oh honey, I am sorry about your plans! I can't imagine how someone could think that's easy.
    In Greece military training is obligatory for all males! So my husband had to go as well. In that year I saw him like 7-10 times! I cried every single day almost all day! I just couldn't handle it!
    After that every time he had to go for a tour(he's a musician) I had a complete melt down! Ever since we had the baby he had to leave a band because I did not want him away from us!
    In our apartment building live two military families, I know for a fact it is harder for the wives!
    I believe it is worse than being single parent because if you know you are alone you arrange your life around this fact.
    I am sending wishes and happy thoughts for every other holiday of your lives!

  20. whoever said that was deranged. nothing is easy but especially the military life! wow.

  21. Jared is not in the military, obviously, but I understand the frustrations with your husband's schedule. I recently learned Jared won't have any vacation time until January once we move to Florida. I'm trying not to think about what this means for the holidays. He is under contract as well now, so we don't have a choice.

    I am sending you a hug in this comment!

  22. Oh, no - I'm so sorry!!!
    I think that military life is anything but easy and it is one of the hardest things on family life ever!!
    Being in the guard (like Chris) is a little better but it is still rough and full of challenges and unknowns like you said.
    I'm so sorry that your plans are getting screwed up again!!!
    And, don't get me started on congress and the lame decisions they have been making lately.

  23. I can't imagine why anyone would think military life is easy. Seriously. Does the person even know what the military does?

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. I know this is little consolation, Amber, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry about your plans, and I, too, am frustrated about a person's inability to at least empathize with the numerous sacrifices you and your family make.

    For example, I don't know shit about what it takes to fight fires for a living or operate on children, but I know that those professions, too, come with a boat-load of stress.

    "It must be nice to be a military family! Sounds pretty easy!"

    Ugh. That person needs a punch in the mouth.

  26. The military can be so frustrating. My current pet peeve is duty. Once a month, my husband has to pull a 24 hour shift. They get the next day off. But for some reason, Aaron's always falls on a day he'd already have the next one off! Or it's a holiday- like New Year's Eve.

  27. That is such a strange, strange comment. I don't think it's possible to say anyone's life is "easy" because what do we know of other people's lives, really?
    And I don't think I could take it if my husband was in the military. Funny, he just got a "Navy Nurse Corps" recruiting letter. Yeah, Angel works most weekends and holidays but he only has to be at the hospital a certain number of hours each week, then he's done, he's free--he loves being an hourly employee.

  28. After being a mil spouse for 18 years, and hubby having 24 years in the Army... I can't tell you how ready I am for the R-word! :) It hasn't always been an easy life, and when it's hard, it's hard as hell. But there are so many great times that we've had as a result of being military, that I wouldn't trade it for an easier life! ;)

  29. I can't believe someone said that to you! Do they even have a clue?! My brother in law is in the military and while his family has lived in some pretty amazing places, their life is far from easy. My sister in law is on her own with the kids a lot, they are constantly moving, and the not knowing is brutal too. And I know I am not even beginning to touch on hardly anything here. I have nothing but respect for our military and military families. Thank you to you and your husband.

  30. It's really annoying when people say that. I also hate the, "this is what you signed up for" comments. Sorry, but I never signed up for anything! I've taken loads of trips without my husband and been criticized for it. I feel bad, but I'm not missing out because the military is a jerk, though. Pilots can't plan for anything more than 6 months out and even then, it's iffy. We do a lot of last minute traveling.

  31. What a moron. No real person says stuff like that. As both a prior service Army medic and a military spouse who's gone through two 18 month deployments, I can relate....but the hardest lesson I've learned is, you can't expect them to - "them" being anyone who hasn't lived the military life. Don't be mad at the morons. Pity them.

  32. I have huge admiration for military spouses, because I want to ugly cry whenever my husband tells me he has to travel for work (and he only goes maybe 4-5 times a year for 5-7 days at a time). Solo parenting is so hard. Celebrating your birthday without your spouse is so hard. I can't imagine!

    I'm so sorry your husband is missing the family reunion. :(

  33. I can't imagine why anyone would think that the life of a military family is easy.

  34. I can't imagine that anyone's life is actually *easy* but the military life has it's own unique set of hardships. That sucks that Tom keeps getting time taken away and I don't blame you for the ugly cry in dealing with it! Please know that my family truly appreciates the sacrifices your family makes to keep us safe!


Thanks for the comment!

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...