How I Know I'm In My Thirties

My friend Jennifer and I went to a Dueling Piano bar for her birthday.

It made me realize that I am no longer in my twenties.

It started early: the bar was downtown, and I was astounded by all the cars. I didn't know what everyone was doing. Then I realized, duh, it's a Friday night. People usually go out Friday night. I wouldn't know. I'm generally in my pajamas by 6 on Friday nights.


Here are other reasons why I knew I was in my thirties while at the Dueling Piano bar:

1. I made a hissing sound when I was given my lemon drop because I could taste all the alcohol. If I were in my twenties, I probably would have guzzled it down.

2. Speaking of the alcohol, I was not pleased with the prices. I ordered the cheapest cocktail ($9) and thought to myself, "I could have bought a book with that amount of money."

3. I kept getting annoyed that the couple in front of us kept kissing. I wanted to shout, "Get a room!"

4. I really wanted to tell the lady who kept singing while raising her hand up and down in the air to quit it. You are not Christina Aguilera.

5. I didn't know a lot of the songs that were played. People kept requesting Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus songs. I fear for the youth of today. I can take Lady Gaga songs, but Miley Cyrus? Not as much.

6. I did not find it cute when the lady at the table behind us started to dance wildly. She was clearly drunk and she was doing some interpretive dance moves. I wanted to tell her she was distracting and that she looked ridiculous.

7. I thought the room got too loud a couple of times. My ears began to ring.

Source

My ears continued to ring as we left.

Don't get me wrong, I had a good time.

But going to places like that?

Remind me that yes, I'm in my thirties.