Monday, June 23, 2014

I Partied With Goats!

Good news!

Tom was able to join us on my birthday! (Which was June 19th.)

I'm kidding.

Clearly it's an angry antelope. Or deer. Or something. But the face reminded me of Tom's. I'm sure it really was happy on the inside. It just has a bitch resting face.

We went to the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch on my birthday, and yes, it was fun.

There were all sorts of interesting creatures to see.

"Someone best feed me now!"


You could feed the animals as you drove past.

A lot of animals just stared, which was slightly unnerving. Were they debating ramming the vehicle? Or flinging poop? But wait, monkeys did that. Not...deer. Or antelope. Or whatever these things were.

Some animals stuck their faces right in the windows and were like, "Someone in this here car better feed me.."

Natalie loved feeding everyone.


Did not.


Natalie was like, "I'll feed everyone!"

We discovered ostriches don't tolerate any nonsense. Much like Mary Poppins.

This one almost pecked Natalie's eyes out.

"I see all you human beings in here. Someone is going to feed me."

"Did you not hear me?"

Natalie tossed a bunch of food out to get it to leave.

Don't mess with the ostriches.

We interrupted bath time for this fuzzy thing. An alpaca, maybe?

Natalie tossed food at it and it was all, "I don't eat such garbage. Move along."

And then there was a petting zoo. We had extra food, so we gave it to the goats, who behaved like a bunch of pigs.

"Food? Food?" I get it, goats. I'm the same way when someone presents McDonalds.

"Should the goat be doing this?" Tommy asked, panicked.

I told Natalie these goats were fighting for her honor:

"I don't know what that means, but okay," Natalie answered.

I recommend the Wildlife Ranch if you're ever in Texas. They do a military discount as well and you get one bag of food free (extra is $2.50 a bag.)

When we got home, I had a surprise waiting for me: a vase full of flowers sitting by the front door, sent by Tom.

I love them. I love that Tom was thinking of me even though we couldn't be together on my special day.

But that wasn't the end of my birthday.

No, we also went to downtown Texas for dinner. At the Rainforest Cafe. I wanted to pick a place where I knew the kids would be content, so I could fully enjoy my birthday meal.

Thank goodness we didn't go the day before. The day before all these Spurs fans were out, celebrating the fact that tall men are able to shoot a ball into a basket. It confounds me, but okay Texas!

I ordered an alcoholic beverage because A) it was my birthday and B) Tom wasn't around to help me take care of the kids, so I felt I EARNED the booze.

The Rainforest Cafe, for those who don't know, is this place that is set up like the...well, rainforest. You'll hear animal sounds and every half hour a thunderstorm goes off--flashing lights, and water--I'm kidding--no water. Just the booms and the lights. It's not overly scary, and the kids seem to love it.

Natalie pretended to be afraid of this snake:

I ended up having a fun birthday. I did miss Tom a lot, but I'm glad I went to Texas to spend it with my parents.

I'll always remember this birthday as the one with feisty animals....

**I'm at the beach until the 29th. I'm not sure how the WiFi situation will be. I have scheduled posts and I hope to be able to reply to comments. I can read them all on my phone, but in case I don't have WiFi, I might not be online as much. You can read updates on my Twitter account.**


  1. Happy belated birthday! Sorry for my unimaginative comment, I am half brain dead - local pub decided to have a loud party till 3 am and I had to be up at 4:45.

  2. Happy Birthday! I'm glad you were able to have a fun time celebrating despite your husband's absence.

  3. I think your dialogue for the animals is the best! lol. Happy Birthday to you!!!!

  4. Sounds like you had a great birthday! Happy birthday!

  5. What a wonderful way to spend your birthday! and beautiful flowers from Tom.
    Enjoy the beach!

  6. Happy birthday! Looks like the kids had as good a time as you did. What a great experience! We were actually talking about taking some friends to lunch for Rainforest but they were on a budget. My stepdaughter announced there are four items on the menu that are less than $20--our friends have two kids, so they knew then that wasn't going to work!

  7. Oh, I love drive through animal places - that one looks awesome!!!
    Glad you ended up having a great birthday!!
    Enjoy your time at the beach!!!

  8. Looks like you had a fun birthday! I'm glad that Tom was able to make it, although he might want to take off the antler hat before you take the picture next time. ;-)

  9. hahaha the animal with resting bitch face LMAO!

    Happy birthday looks like a lot fun!

  10. Glad you had a great birthday! I've heard ostriches are a tough gang.

  11. HAHA! Your daughter is so funny. It's so crazy to see you with dark hair because I figured you were a blondie (google profile). I'm actually glad the spurs won this year, anything but the Heat. Glad you had a fun fab animal filled birthday!

  12. Enjoy the beach!!!
    Bahahaha... resting bitch face! Does it have bangs, too? It looks like it has terrible bangs! haha

  13. Looks like you had a really amazing birthday. I am sure you will have another celebration when you get back home.

  14. That looks like such a fun time. I love the ostrich!

  15. I think.. it's a llama? Or an alpaca? Usually alpacas are cuter, but don't tell llamas.
    The photos of you are the best. You look very happy and loved.
    Happy Birthday! Enjoy your time in Texas!

  16. I have recently been diagnosed with Resting Bitch Face, so I can relate. I am wondering if those were deer or not; they look just like the ones hanging on my wall, basically. It all sounds like fun! I love flowers, I don't care that they die, so what, they're pretty. Happy Birthday!

  17. This is the funniest post of yours I've ever read, and I've been reading for years. I think you've really grown as a writer! But I've always loved your blog :)

  18. Love love love your commentary. That first part had me laughing. Happy belated birthday! I love that picture of you smelling the roses.

  19. It looks like you had an absolutely stunning and laughter filled birthday! Your kids must have loved it too. Gosh, I love ostriches. They are so hilarious. I have the funniest video with an ostrich in a game park I was in the other day - but it is too big to upload. Such a pity. Cracks me up every time.

    Hope you have a blessed year ahead lovely lady xx

  20. I went to a place like that in MO. I remember Zachary screaming at us to close the car windows so the animals wouldn't poke their heads in!


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