"Come on, Calvin. Let's go away from the naughty boy." The woman narrowed her eyes at me, took her little boy by the hand, and stomped off.
The naughty boy she was talking about was my son. Tommy.
I had taken him to the park, something that I almost dreaded to do, because I knew it would nearly always inevitably end with someone tugging their child away from mine. My son has autism, so being social never came easily for him. When he was tiny, he'd rush over and squeeze the arm of whoever was crying because he couldn't stand to hear the wails. When he got older and began to be able to express his feelings, he told me honestly, "It felt like glass was going across my brain whenever a kid would cry. I was trying to get them to stop, but didn't know how to tell them to stop."
Obviously parents who don't understand the world of autism wouldn't understand why another child was racing over in a panic, grasping onto their child's wrist. Tommy would do this while tensing up, causing his face to shake briefly as if he were cold. But he wasn't cold. He was in pain. The crying from that other child was causing him pain.
Other parents wouldn't get it though. They'd just see a kid touching theirs and would hurry away before I could explain.
"He doesn't mean it to be cruel," I'd say feebly to their retreating backs. "He has autism."
But it wouldn't matter. My kid was the one to avoid. If we showed up to the park and saw parents who had encountered my son before, they'd quickly leave. If they were with friends, they'd mutter something and all eyes would turn towards us before everyone gathered their belongings and children and swiftly made their exit.
It can be lonely having a child with autism. A lot of people don't understand. They would simply refer to my kid as a brat when he'd wail over a tag against his back. They'd whisper and giggle when my son would walk back and forth, back and forth in front of the slide. I'd say, "He's stimming," but I'd be met with a blank look. One lady even bluntly answered, "Whatever it is, it looks weird."
It got to the point where I rarely would bring Tommy to the park. Oh sure, I had friends who understood he had autism, but even they would get annoyed when Tommy would squeeze their child's arm if they dared to cry in their presence. Excuses would be made.
"Maybe come over without Tommy sometime so we can hang out? Just us?"
"Well, my son is sort of afraid of yours..."
"Um, could you come get your son? There's a bunch of boys over here and yours won't stop crying."
I'd like to say things got better, but really, my son always was and always will be socially awkward. He did have another friend on the spectrum. They'd get together, stim, and play in their own corners. But then we moved. Tommy did find some other people who didn't mind his quirks, but then they moved. Now, as a teenager, he doesn't really hang out with his peers. He's not lonely though. No, he communicates while playing video games. When he does this, the people on the other end don't see him rocking back and forth.
Sometimes I take my neurotypical daughter to a larger park in the area. We were there once and I saw a tiny boy walking back and forth, back and forth. The mom was trying to get him to go down the slide. I could see other mothers flicking looks in her direction. I remembered those looks. And so I said to the mom, "Your son is adorable," because he was, with brown hair and brown eyes that were fixated on the corner of the play structure.
She gave me a harried expression. The expression of a parent with autism. We're constantly trying to soothe our kids and keep them comfortable in a world that can be overstimulating.
"Thanks," she said. "He won't go down the slide. He's....well, it's something called..."
"Stimming," I cut in, and she gave me a grateful look. Her shoulders instantly relaxed. She knew I was one of her people. She knew I got it. She wouldn't see any raised eyebrows from me. She wouldn't see judgement.
We smiled, wishing that the rest of the world could be just as understanding.
Maybe someday they will be. Please remember, if you see a child at the park doing something that you think is unusual, wait before you judge. Remind the mom that she's not alone.
Because we're all just trying to do our best.
This post is incredible and I hope hope you know how amazing you and Tommy are. He is such a sweet boy and it makes me sad that so many are quick to judge especially without asking questions.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jen, people are very quick to judge!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how judgmental people can be. Tommy is an amazing kid and I love how he's using his YouTube channel to connect with others and teach others about autism too!
ReplyDeleteI had a similar incident. It doesn't feel good, especially when you know all kids have their moments.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and I love that you spoke to that mum in the park. Autism is so complex and unpredictable and I can only imagine how challenging it can be for a family. Well done you for still taking those risks to give your family the best life. Nikki x
ReplyDeletewww.twentysomethingmuddle.com
Don't feel sorry for the situation. You have an amazing child, and think about the moments that they missed and those moments that you have.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Autism is a challenging. My husband and I work as a photographer in some school and we see all these child with Autism. They are a lot of work, but definitely worth because they create memories with you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic post my heart goes out to you and other mums in the same situation! Parenthood is hard enough but this is an extra weight and you've communicated it beautifully. Hats off to you and your lovely family xxxx
ReplyDeletePeople are so mean these days. I am sad to hear that you are lonely. I have deep respect for any parent that has to deal with autism. If you were in Charlotte, we'd come out and play. I think kids need to be exposed to all types of children so that they get a better understanding that not everyone is like them. I want to teach my son to understand before judging. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me sad. People are so ignorant towards one another and don't stop for even a second to learn about each other. I hope that you have more positive experiences in the future.
ReplyDeleteBeth || www.TheStyleBouquet.com
I'm sorry. I'd like to think that if my girls and I had met Tommy that I would have been understanding. I know that I will be if I meet a Tommy now.
ReplyDeleteIn this day in age, you would think that people would not be so judgmental. I'm not sure why another parent would have the nerve to utter out of their mouth “naughty boy” some people can be so insensitive even if she didn't know. That's still not an excuse.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have to go through the social negativity in a public space. It is rude make comments like this in public because that mother is only teaching her son to view autism with negativity.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad to hear how much people don't understand. It is the same with my little sister. She was williams which is similar to Downs as well as autism and has to use a wheelchair sometimes or a large pushchair. So many people look at her and give us dirty looks because she does not look disabled and they nasty things when in reality she has so many problems. She will never learn to talk fully, although she knows a few phrases, has a hole in the heart and has the developmental age of a two year even though she is 7 years old. I really feel for you xx
ReplyDeleteAww this post brought some tears to my eyes in the end. I cannot imagine how isolating it must feel! I think we all need to remember to have more grace and patience. These opportunities were also missed opportunities for the parents to show their kids what autism is and that it's okay.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this eye opening and sincere post. It was very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you and Tommy had to go through all that. Elias has autism too. He is 4, and trust me.. At the park, I am the mom shamming others raising my eyebrows. Oh heck no, they don't get to judge my son with their ignorance. You guys are NOT alone.
ReplyDeleteHow sad that people who don't understand, don't consider it worth their time to learn more about your son & his/your struggles. My younger son's babysitter had a Downs syndrome child in the group & it was great for all the kids to learn how to play with him ... best learned when they're younger but everyone should grab these opportunities to become smarter & more supportive of others.
ReplyDelete"Whatever it is, it looks weird." ?? What a troll. I would have said, "That's how I feel about your face, lady!" Because I'm rude.
ReplyDeleteI get stimming a lot. I'm always going to know to not alienate an autism parent or make them feel awful or awkward.
I'm a nanny with a friend that looks after a teenager with Down syndrome. Taking the group of children out together is so awesome! Until another child's parent gets involved. It's hard work helping the children I look after understand why this happens. I love this post
ReplyDeleteRebecca x
Www.londontoeverywhere.com
I can feel your frustrations. While my oldest son did not have autism, he did have social issues and would be over friendly with touching other kids
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so sorry that you went through that. I cannot even imagine how lonely it is to have a child with Autism. You are so strong for your little man.
ReplyDeleteIt must be awful when no-one understands. My nephew has just been diagnosed with autism and it's amazing how much there is to learn about the condition! I'm trying my best and hopefully others will too! Stay strong for him!
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult when other people do not understand. That is why these blog posts are important so other people are aware!
ReplyDeletehttps://lovekimber.com/
I'm so sorry that you and your son have to deal with such narrow minds. You are both amazing and don't let anyone ever make you think differently. I have witnessed many hateful things in my life and try to do what I can to stand up to those people. Keep your heads up, not everyone is like that.
ReplyDeleteoh man I wish they had more community groups for moms with kids with autism. It's definitely a different ball game and and the encouragement is so important.
ReplyDeleteGod! You made me cry a little bit with this post. We never know what happen with a mother and her kid when we judge them for something. You have to remember that you are not alone!! We are all in this together with you! <3
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine. You are such an inspiring person! So strong. I am sure you have "those days" but I also know the joy that little one brings you too. I have a daughter with mild cerebral palsy and that was tough finding groups, places, she could fit in and enjoy life. I wish you all the best love.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully written. I just want to hug you and your baby. I am happy you were able to provide comfort for another parent who was experiencing the same unkindness. I wish you both well and I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteIt is true. We live in a world of judgment. But don't let you be affected by those kinds of people. Always remember that the ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.
ReplyDeleteI have had mom's apologize to me when theit child has talked to me. I tell them it is fine. I was once educated on the different sprinkler systems it was kind of neat because it was obviously something that he was interested in. I certainly didn't have a clue.
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing more awareness to autism. I think it's something that we are starting to encounter more and more in society though. I think as the public gets more knowledge about it, it will get better. Who knows how long that will be though. Thanks for sharing your touching story!
ReplyDeleteI love reading this blog because in reading it, I feel less alone in the strangeness of my youngest daughter's quirks. And I learned a couple of new strategies for helping our family cope as well, which is always appreciated!
ReplyDeleteUgh and they are just kids! I can only imagine. You would think the love and sweetness would be enough to share the innocence of a child!
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with people? It just sucks how many bad experiences you've unjustly had. It's amazing how cheery and creative and giving you are.
ReplyDeleteIt brought tears to my eyes when you talked about connecting with the other autism mom at the park. I'm sorry it's been so lonely for you. I have a few friends with autistic children, but I never recognized the loneliness. Thanks for helping me try to pay more attention.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sad that some people can be so judgmental! I have a special needs cousin and my niece's daughter has lissencephaly. Autism is a complex condition and children diagnosed with it need all the understanding not only from their family but from society. I wish I could be with you right now and give you and Tommy a big hug!
ReplyDeleteI don't have experience with this one because we don't have parks here where the kids can simply hang out and play. I think it's sad that other parents would judge so rashly than think about the other parent or their child. I hope that someday, people will be more understanding about the kids who have autism, they need a little more support when it comes to social places like the park.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Thanks for sharing. You can't ever really know why kids (or parents) are acting the way they are if you don't know them, so it's a good reminder not to judge with limited information.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very touching article. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much more support out there. No reason to feel lonely. You got this, stay strong!
ReplyDeleteI'm really emotional today and this almost made me cry... I can't even imagine how you feel hearing all these stupid comments :( It's sad that people do this. I can be judgy sometimes but I'd never say anything like that, I'dd first give you and your son a chance. If they did they'd see how amazing both of you are. Please hang on, I believe there are people who'll see that out there!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I read, I can feel the heartache that you get when people avoid your son because of his condition.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong person such that God entrusted you with the task to care for this child!
Keep up the good work, we (all the readers) are behind you and I'm praying for Tommy!
I am absolutely saddened by this. A lot of people are so quick to judge and they don't even try to look at the child.
ReplyDeleteI have a daughter with Autism as well. It can be do frustrating when other parents don't understand. As a mom it's hard to see them struggle socially.
ReplyDeleteThis post gave me all the feels. I can't understand fully what you've gone through, are going through but thank you so much for these posts and letting us into your world.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to go through that. People are mean, and sometimes need to look at things beyond what they are use to. Thanks for sharing, its good to know what others go through, it can help others see different perspectives
ReplyDeleteThis sounds so hard. You are such a strong person
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you. I have children with special needs (autism included) and know how it is. It is tough.
ReplyDeleteSuch an amazing post & I love how you are handling everything as an autism mom so easily though I know its going to be harder inside the heart. People don't understand others problems and we just need to move on hoping for the positives ahead!
ReplyDeleteReading this broke my heart! You're a wonderful mom and I wish other parents would stop to think for one second before assuming a child is a "naughty boy". I have two friends with autistic children and I always mae sure that I'm there for them because I now it can be hard.
ReplyDeleteI salute your love to your son! I hope there could be some programs to promote more on autism awareness so they could easily understand families like you.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew has autism so I've seen how others behave around him. He's a great kid and I love spending time with him (he has lots of lego). I think education of the public is needed so they understand more.
ReplyDeleteYou and Tommy are incredible. That woman should be knocked upside the head.
ReplyDeleteFellow SN mom. I feel you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous post! I completely understand that incredibly lonely feeling parents with autistic children have having friends in the same boat! Ignorance is bliss I suppose and I think in this day and age we all need to have an open mind and not rush to judgment when we see things that are presumed odd! We're all going through something. Sometimes it's important to ask, why is your child doing that, in order to get an explanation as well as a valuable life learning experience. I am grateful that my children were able to see past the label and see the heart and soul behind the autism where they have made deep lifelong friendships.
ReplyDeleteHe's adorable. The first paragraph made me so mad, "naughty boy?" Really? Shame on them. As an autism mommy too I feel your struggle. I hate the park ha, not because of kiddos being mean or ignorant parents (we haven't encountered much of that thankfully) but my son (4) is a runner. I can't keep up with him and I lose it when he runs away from me. It's just so scary. I do get looks and have even been asked by a parent if my little guy was ok. I feel immune to it all now but we've only been on this road for a few years. There's much more to come. You know, when I tell people that my son is autistic, you know the response I get? They tell me their child is autistic, their sister is autistic, their grandchild is autistic. I feel like because it's more known today, maybe people will be more kind, I hope so anyway. Keep being a great mama!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't much relate to this world, but what I only know is , you are an amazing Mom and and a super woman to your family :)
ReplyDeleteI have 3 friends with autistic children and I see that it is a daily struggle for them. I have 3 kid and always want to protect them, so I get where you are coming from. I also think no one will ever completely understand unless they have to walk in your shoes! Hang in there you sound like an amazing momma!
ReplyDeleteThis post is phenomenal. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me to understand autism.
ReplyDeleteI love your post. The more parents chose to share about the struggles and truth of autism the more others can learn from it. I think we have a long way to go before the stigma is gone but it shouldn't be kept a secret. The only way people learn and are exposed to different things is by others speaking up and sharing their stories.
ReplyDeleteMy sister son was just diagnosed and I know the struggle is real. We can all learn for your words. Thank you for your honesty; I plan to share this with my sister
ReplyDeleteThat sweet face is irresistible! You are so brave for sharing your feelings, I know it can't be easy.
ReplyDeleteThis is a touching post. I had no idea just how judgmental and not understanding other people can be.
ReplyDeleteGirl you made me tear up. It breaks my heart that people remove their kids from playing with other kids and are judgmental. I know Tommy isn't little anymore, but my goodness he was an adorable toddler!
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful to share these stories as it's important for others to understand.
ReplyDeleteI really wish that people could be a bit more understanding. You never know what is happening with other people, and unless they are hurting someone else, it just isn't a stranger's place to judge. Seems like you are super strong though, and hopefully writing about this stuff is somewhat helpful as well. We all support you. <3
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a high functioning autistic - however, he tells me about how much he was bullied as a kid and it breaks my heart. He is such an amazing man, I just wanna hug him forever... But of course, being autistic, well, I can't do that, lol! I hate how narrow minded people can be about social disordered. I commend you for being such a great mom and loving Tommy as much as you humanly can!
ReplyDeletePeople judge, talk before thinking and have no common sense. It must be hard and you are one very strong mama. It's feb that you write about your experience so others can take a bit more time before acting. all the best.
ReplyDeleteMy youngest was in early intervention for a speech delay, so I was exposed to the world of autism then. I wish everyone would just be a little more understanding.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that you and your won have to deal with this! Most kids that are bullies get it from their parents and that's what I think those parents are doing when they make those unkind remarks. Some day, maybe they will learn how to treat others.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It is difficult when your child is "different" from others. My son doesn't have autism, but he does have ADHD. Before being put on medication, he was quite difficult and I think that stuck with some of the parents as he grew up with his friends.
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine what it must have been like having to explain all the time the situation to parents who wouldnt even give you a chance. Thanks for educating me on this.
ReplyDeleteMy sister-in-law and my brother had to go through this with their daughter. I can't imagine how hard it is. It has to suck to explain all the time what's going on with your child. And I am sorry that you're going through this. I will say my niece is now 23 and she is doing quite well.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! The connection you made with the other mom is something I'm sure she will remember and a reminder that we are not alone. One of my twin sons' speech delays. The comments form adults hurt the most even though I would console myself by saying they didn't INTENTIONALLY mean to say hurtful words. However, it hurt nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad how judgmental some people can be. You and your son are a prefect example of strength and for someone intentionally say hurtful words is a shame.
ReplyDeleteI hope a lot of parents read this post and learn a little more about autistic behaviors. It can be difficult enough as a parent without feeling yourself judged and your child criticized.
ReplyDeleteI understand. A friend of mines daughter is on the spectrum, and although she doesn't misbehave, she has the tendency to laugh too loud or get in your face to talk. She also likes to just shout out from time to time. When we've been out with them, people give her all sorts of dirty looks. :-(
ReplyDeleteYou wrote this post with so much warm and understanding. I can't imagine how it must be for you and your kid. I hope the world would one day be aware and more accepting of everyone.
ReplyDelete❥ tanvii.com
I can relate to this. My son grew up with emotional disturbance and didn't pay attention to social cues. He was a handful growing up and I didn't know what to do other than to keep him to myself and encourage him. Through a tremendous amount of therapy and a few years in an RTF, I am the proud mother of a young man. No one even notices the 10 years of heartache that we experienced.
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible article about what it means to parent a child with autism - the challenges, the sideway glances of others, and so much misunderstanding. I just now Googled the word "stimming" so I could better understand what that meant. I hope more parents can take the time to learn about autism instead of just turning away and pulling their children with them.
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of giving judgemental look because I don't understand. Thank you for opening my eyes to see things on a different level. You are awesome! And I will always remember this.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so open and candid about what you go through as a mother that has a child with autism. Many only look at what the child has to endure, but rarely do people think about the mothers of these children and how hard it is for them. I'll definitely take a lesson from this post.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right sometimes we prejudge before we know the whole story. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell your story and teach us more about autism and your beautiful son.
ReplyDeleteIt's so challenging taking your child to the playground. Parents can be so judgmental. They should all try a little patience when dealing with the innocent little ones.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so sad. It is such a shame that other parents will not even give you the opportunity to explain what your son is going through. This is so heartbreaking. I pray that He grows up to become more better and live a happy life.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you have to deal with such fickle minded people in society. Your article was the first, that i came across autism. Now, I know what it is. You have a lovely kid there. Sending you loads of love !!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother of a child with autism but I do have a child with special needs (as opposed to a special needs mom). It never ceases to amaze me how horrible children can be towards them.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy how sometimes parents are worst than their kids. Kids don't understand difference and cruelty but adults do so they should be able to see that your son is different and not punish him for it. Nor you. People tend to be quite blind regarding autism as they think there is only one kind while the spectrum is so broad. I am not really familiar with the topic but I understand how lonely you can something feel.
ReplyDeleteI recently watched tv show with a guest mom who happens to have a kid with autism. I admire her strength to face all of it and also I love how she says that having her son is such a gift and blessing. She also said that she knows that her son is her gateway to heaven. -ANOSA
ReplyDeleteYour story is so touching and well-written. I have a close friend whose child has autism and I understand some of the struggles. It can be useful to find a support group for sure!
ReplyDeleteIt upsets me that there are still some parents who live in the dark ages. I mean, why don't they understand that it was not your son's intent to squeeze the arm of their child. I wish we'd all get rid of being judgmental.
ReplyDeleteOh bless your heart. You are a strong person though. You do such a wonderful job with him.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to hear that people can be very quick to judge. I hope more practice empathy and be understanding to parents who have special needs children.
ReplyDeleteYour son is absolutely beautiful! At one time I worked with special needs children and I can see how that would be so difficult.
ReplyDeletePeople are so ignorant these days, This is really sad that they start judging without knowing the truth. I hope you and your son always have positive experiences in future
ReplyDeleteIt saddens me that you and your son had to go through this! It is autism, not a communicable disease! My goodness. I wish people would be more empathetic towards kids with special needs and their parents.
ReplyDeleteSome people are quick to judge. Try to keep your head up high and ignore the negative. I am trying my best to have positive attitude.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you. Sending you lots of love. Some people are to quick to judge.
ReplyDeleteAww it must be hard. It's probably easier if you connect with other moms with autistic kids.
ReplyDeleteI hope the best for you and your family. thank you for sharing your thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I hope we can all understand Autism better, and learn how to love the people who have Autism.
ReplyDeleteYou must have a tough life because of this and it is really awesome that you still keep going. I really admire you.
ReplyDeleteMy friend's grandchild has autism and I've learned so much from her. A few weeks ago, she posted a video on FB of her granddaughter learning to ride a bike. She was older than most kids when she learned and her grandparents were over the moon. I hope more people are educated so that autism moms don't have to feel so alone.
ReplyDeleteI have several friends who have autism children. A bunch of us got together and she actually taught a very informal class about autism and what the children go through. We asked questions and she answered them. Our children were taught as well. All came together.
ReplyDeleteMy granddaughter, La Princesa, is autistic and BB finds herself explaining to questioning eyes some of her actions and answers. That's ok. We get her and she knows she's loved. BB2U
ReplyDeleteThis was hard to read! I'm just 22 and have not had much experience with autistic children. A few in my high school, the school voted one girl prom queen and it was wonderful. But I've never quite thought about what it would be like for the parents of those kids. I think it's awful that people judge before they speak and act. I like to think I'm not a judgmental person but this made me think. I think it's wonderful you're writing about your experience, your're helping other parents with this situation and this really made me feel for you. Keep writing!
ReplyDelete-Morgan Gibbs
I feel for you because you care so much to give your son everything a child needs. I hope to hear more about you and your son and triumphs you will have.
ReplyDeleteI wish more people understood this. My cousin has autism, and she has severe sensory issues. I've seen parents pull their children away several times before she even had the chance to speak to them.
ReplyDeleteThis saddens my heart. People can be so mean when it comes to things making them feel uncomfortable. If only they could grasp some understanding.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping this would end one day when people are aware and have enough knowledge and understanding about autism. I can only imagine what the kids go through and their parents as well.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post and I am sorry you had to go through that I think that it's okay to ask instead of giving others nasty glares.
ReplyDeleteMy son is also on the autism spectrum and reading this post is like someone crawled inside my head and put my feelings into words. In the end, we belong to our own club. Sure it may not be the most popular, but it is pretty awesome none the less.
ReplyDeleteI have a child with special needs that isn't on the spectrum. He never lays a hand on anyone and he's still viewed as different because he looks different. Not having friends in our neighborhood makes it lonely for him and I.
ReplyDeleteIt's a wonder how people even let their kids go outside the way they acted around, and treated, your son. You would think that there wouldn't be so much judgment, but it just goes to show that no matter how much we've evolved, as a society we really haven't.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it is like to be a Mum to a child with autism, to have to deal with the glances you get from others who don't understand.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing an amazing job as a mom, keep it up. There are so many small minded people out there.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids but I am a teacher and it hurts me to say that this really happens. I admire parents and their children who have autism because they have to deal with so much. I'm hoping someday that you guys won't have to anymore because people understand.
ReplyDeleteYou may feel alone or lonely but there are others that do understand as autism seems to be talked about a lot now as more kids are being diagnosed including my youngest. I'm sorry that you have to deal with others judging, I feel the same when we go shopping.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry so many people judged without asking questions. Maybe it feels like prying if you ask questions, regardless its hard being in this position as a parents. I wish you could have been apart of the playgroup I was. We had two children in the group with autism, one boy, one girl and it half the moms were teachers, therapists or social workers so it was a group of really understanding parents. Gosh I miss them, but alas we moved away.
ReplyDeleteYou are so very courageous to share this post. I appreciate you. It is amazing how people can be insensitive. All it takes is compassion and understand. You have a beautiful, amazing child and he is lucky to have you as his mom. Keep sharing here we are championing you on.
ReplyDeletewonderful inspiring post. Society can be so cruel at times. I am sorry. You have a wonderful boy. You are lucky to have each other. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteWhat an honest and poignant post. I can only empathize with what you have gone through, society is indeed cruel and insensitive towards these issues. Of course words sound hollow in these circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI wish more people understood how beautiful every child is, autism or not. My best friends son is Autistic, he squeezes arms sometimes (he's 5) and he's non verbal. I must tell you, I have watched her struggle with carrying him away from things, or dealing with meltdowns, she is a tiny woman and he is a very big boy. I help where I can. I have watched her melt into a puddle on the floor and say: "He's so big already, what am I going to do when he gets bigger?" However, she always makes it work. She is one of the best moms I have ever met in my entire life to both her kids, her patience is phenomenal and her kids are wonderful. When we go out together with the kids... sometimes we both get judgey looks from people, I wish more people understood.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine it is. I am a retired principal and I used to see moms come in so worn and sad sometimes. We started a moms group where we'd meet at school for coffee and we could talk about ANYTHING but our kids. We took care of our needs to be a woman for awhile, and not a mom. It was a lovely thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had a negative experience. I'm sure it's heartbreaking to see people judging and making no attempt to educate their own children about all of our unique gifts. Recently at the park my two year old daughter asked a boy to stop screaming at her. His mother came over and very gently kneeled down and explained her three year old son is autistic and his screams are showing how excited he is to be her friend because he cannot communicate with words. Five minutes later my daughter was running and playing with this same boy and it just made my momma heart happy. I'm sure it felt great for her too.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry to hear this. Some people can be so mean at times. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteIt's easier to judge for some than to understand the situation. I hope people will be more caring and concern.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how difficult it has been for both you and your son but I'm glad you have encountered some people who understand. I imagine that probably makes things a little easier.
ReplyDeletePeople can be so cruel especially when they don't understand a situation. I've seen so many success stories with people that have autism. It takes them a lot longer to learn something but there is a young man in my acquaintance for example, that has one of the most beautiful singing voices I've ever heard, that has autism.
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessed Mom having Tommy as your son. Never mind what other people say. Keep supporting your cute baby Tommy! God bless you both!
ReplyDeleteI know some parents of kids with autism. And sure, it is not easy to raise kids in such challenging condition. You are an inspiration to others and me. I have been trying to figure out how not to hurt their feelings when my kids play with theirs. And so I figure out, that a simple gesture of not giving that weird look would at least make them feel at ease. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteWell, this was a touching story. I tell my children to always be accepting of those who has disabilities, because they are alive and have a heart just like we do. Because loneliness is one of the worst feelings, no one wants to feel lonely--even if they like being alone. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteVery touching, it can be so hard wanting to join in and not being welcomed. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a touching story and I can't believe how judgemental people can be. I'm glad Tommy's found online friends!
ReplyDeletewow this is such a touching story! thank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDelete