Sunday, March 10, 2019

How To Date In Middle School




So my daughter started Middle School and would tell me that her friends had boyfriends.

First of all, when I was in sixth grade, I was still playing with Barbies, so this is baffling to me.

Second of all, I was like, "So what do they do? Hold hands?"

Natalie replied, aghast, "Oh no! Never. Everyone is too shy for that. It just means they are going out."

"Out where?" I asked.

Natalie blinked and tilted her head to the side, confused.

"You said they were going out. Where?"

"It's just the saying. It means they are going out. Together." Natalie said this slowly as though conversing with Brandi from the Real Housewives of Dallas when she's had too much to drink.

"Yes," I answered. "But when you say going out, it implies people are going somewhere."

"They aren't though," Natalie snapped. "It's just the SAYING."

So okay, let me get this straight: dating in Middle School means going out, but not going out, and not holding hands.

Anyway, for Valentine's Day Natalie said she wanted to give candy to a boy she liked. They talked daily, and Natalie decided she'd give him something to show she was interested. She knows if she waits around for a boy to make a move, she might be waiting for a long time, and I always tell her to go for what she wants.

So she gave him this:





(And yes, that is Beth Pearson in the background being like, "You go, girl!" or, "Good luck. You know how middle school boys can be.")


Natalie said his face turned red, but he said thank you and said it reminded him of a scepter.

And then the next day, he gave her this box of chocolates:




Maybe he had been too shy to give her something on Valentine's Day. Maybe he went out and got her something as a thank you. I don't know. But Natalie thought it was sweet.

Then she was all, "It's official," and I went, "What is?" and she said, "We're going out," which, after our earlier convo, I knew meant they really wouldn't be going anywhere. She said she figured it was official when one of her friends asked him if they were going out and he said yes, sure.

Naturally she has rules, one being, no kissing.

"You're too young. You're only 11," I told her.

Natalie went, "Vada kissed Thomas J and she was 11."





I replied, "Don't use one of my favorite movies against me. Also, he died right after, so..."


Basically she says her friends tease her about him daily and dare her to do stuff like give him a hug. Or when he walks by they shout, "Hey Natalie's boyfriend!" and when Natalie walks by HIS friends, they shout, "Hey, *insert boy's name* girlfriend!" It's still rather juvenile in middle school, which is how I like it.

Natalie says she gave him a side hug and I went, "Great idea, be like the Duggars!" and she gave me a look like:




So yeah. My daughter has a "boyfriend", but they don't go anywhere, and they won't be holding hands because people point and laugh, and they give side hugs. Also, he doesn't have a phone because it broke, so they don't text, but if they did, Natalie says all her friends with boyfriends text is emojis, basically. And the boyfriends rarely text back because they're too busy playing Fortnite.


That's dating in Middle School. And I'm pretty okay with it.





37 comments:

  1. I give you credit. Raised one daughter who did not really "date" until sophomore year in HS. She's now 23 and a new mom but my second daughter is only 5 and I don't think I would be ready for this conversaton in middle school.

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  2. Looks like a great post for dating in Middle School and thanks for sharing

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  3. It is never too early even if everything is much more pure, sweet and fun. What a post full of emotion!

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  4. The girl is really lucky to have you as parents. The card is damn cute, specially the color idea!

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  5. Loved how you talked to her and how at ease yoy both are with each other. I wish I can be that with my daughter when it’s time.

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  6. Haha, funny. Gabbie had a boyfriend in 6th grade but he wanted to actually go on dates, so he started dating a different girl instead.

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  7. I thought this was so funny and cute! My daughter just turned 13 and boyfriend discussions are happening at our house too!

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  8. This made me laugh so much and brought back memories of my daughter in middle school. Her first boy friend is still her best friend. They are both married now with children and still talk. They all get together when possible.

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  9. I always thought it was so funny to hear that they are "going out" in middle school when they are not going anywhere. I like that she has rules about no kissing because I think middle school is way too young to actually date.

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  10. oh my gosh i adore this- i remember memories of my own days in middle school with 'going out' ha so crazy- def like the 'no kissing' rule going on ha so anxious for my little one to get there someday!

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  11. Children seem to be doing everything at a much earlier age then they did when I was at school. My eldest talks about boys but I haven't heard anything about wanting to date them yet which is a relief as I feel she's too young at the moment.

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  12. These are the same questions I asked when my daughter was in middle school. Going out...where and how. It was a fun time and I miss those days.

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  13. I found your post so cute, yet it touched on the importance of talking to your Middle School child. I thought her gifts were wonderful. This kind of behavior seems to be the norm, where kids around this age "go out", but aren't going anywhere, the awkward hugs, and no holding hands.

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  14. I remember my first "boyfriend" in middle high school. Yeah, no holding hands, no kissing, barely talking to each other ahah! I guess we were just very shy!

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  15. It is funny how girls are so into boys in middle school but the boys are clueless. My son is too much into sports to notice the girls

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  16. Oh this is so funny, when I was 11 I was ermm climbing trees and being a huge tom boy. Boys themselves were friends and nothing more lol.

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  17. My sister has a daughter in middle school, and every gray hair she has on her head is due to that wonderful, beautiful girlie! Boys and girls that age are in transition, and it's a challenging time for both parents and teens. I'm sharing this with my sister right now!

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  18. OMG, I can’t believe your middle schooler is dating already! Happy to hear it’s just texts and emojis…for now :)

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  19. Ah I remember “going out” in middle school. But “going out was saying hi in school or maybe talking on a landline with my mom next to me. Treasure the innocence!

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  20. I hear these stories from my 13 year old. She's in 7th grade where apparently, they do more than be shy. It's more than I can handle.

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  21. I remember when my daughter was "dating" in middle school. It was just basically playdates, but more awkward.

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  22. That's kinda funny. I have a 12 year old son and he says kids in his grade date. I asked him what he thought about girls and he said, "they talk a lot and wear too much perfume". Guess he's not interested, lol.

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  23. This is so funny nowadays. Like generation gap . How we were in their age and how they are now !! I have seen 5 year old kids fighting for their girlfriend. You seem to be cool mom and so is your daughter :)

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  24. Aww! This is so sweet. I love that they are going out without going anywhere. It is hilarious that you took so long to get it. It's just a saying they are going out. I must ask my daughter what is the saying here locally.

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  25. This is really cute. It takes me back to the good old days of puppy love moments. I am so happy seeing those pictures.

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  26. Ha ha that cracked me up "Going out without going out" lol. My daughter is in 8th grade but still not interested..

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  27. :) Definitely it's different dating now from dating my times...but anyway, dating scares me when it's about my child...

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  28. I think it's the same here. Going out means they are dating. I wish I was as brave as her when I was in middle school. ha!

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  29. Oh my, that's such a sweet story. And of course the Beth Pearson part WA smy absolutely favorite!!

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  30. My son is in high-school now and he never dated in middle school which was awesome. Middle school dating is a no-no for me. :) -Lynndee

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  31. My daughter also "was going out" with a boy in middle school, and it was exactly like that. She also had to break it down to me because I had many of the same questions you did.

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  32. Mine is in elementary school. So dread about thinking about dating at middle school. But your post gave me some relief after learning about dating practice in middle school.Still I am not going to give her a phone until 13-14.

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  33. Wow, I guess I am really such a late bloomer. Haha! I just dated when I was twenty-five. For me elementary is about playing while middle school is about friends. Lol.

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  34. My son turned 13 last February so he’s officially on his teenage years. He said he already have a girlfriend but they are like LDR(long distance relationship) because they are no longer school mates.

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  35. Well, I didn't even know anything about dating while I was in middle school but kids nowadays do. SO I believe it's nice when a parent can guide them better.

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  36. Well, I am not trying to think about this dilemma honestly. He's only 8 right now but I can tell that he finds certain girls attractive already. I don't know what I will do if he asks me that he wants to ask a girl out.

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  37. Oh my word! Thanks for sharing about "what going out" means from a middle-schooler's perspective. Haha I gasped before I read her explanation of what "going out" meant :D

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