Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Saying Goodbye Never Gets Easier


 


It sucks.

Saying goodbye to your spouse sucks.

Even if you've done it many times before, it still sucks. 

I had to say goodbye to my husband Tom. He has to go away for a bit thanks to the military. This has happened several times in the past. This isn't our first goodbye. But it still stings. 




Here's what happens when he goes: my heart squeezes. My stomach feels hollow. I walk around the house and try not to cry when I see the glass he sips water from. I press my palm against his side of the bed. For the first few days I'll still be able to breathe in his scent, but soon that'll go. I find some dirty clothes in the corner and while it normally irritates me, now it makes my eyes water. His part of the bathroom is empty, but there's still some remnants of his hair in the sink because he shaved the night before. A part of me doesn't want to wash it away. It's gross, but I think, it's part of him, and I won't have him for a long time. 



He left an old pair of boots behind, so sometimes I'll look over and think of him. His spot on the couch remains empty in the evenings when we'd normally watch our shows together. 

It's not like I won't see him though. He'll Facetime, but sometimes the WiFi is shaky, so he freezes mid-sentence. It's not the same. 

I don't spend my days wallowing. I can't. I have things to do. But sometimes in the evening? It hits me that he's gone. 


Saying goodbye never gets easier. 


23 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. I hope he gets back soon and safely.

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  2. I was raised in the military and my brother served 20 years. So the majority of my life, I have said several good byes due to deployment. You are right. It does hurt, but we stand by them and move on. They expect us to keep the world going for them while they are gone. Big hugs for you during this time.

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  3. Thank you for YOUR service to this country!!

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  4. We think don't always think about the sacrifices that the families of service people are making. Thank you for your service and the sacrifices that you are making for our country. Praying for you and also for his safety!

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  5. This post just made me feel for you and your family. Thinking of you all and his safe return.

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  6. Thinking of you all right now. I could feel your emotions reading this. I cannot imagine, and I just want to say I hear you! BIG HUGS!

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  7. I can't imagine having to say bye like this. It must take so much strength!

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  8. I only can immagine how hard this is! I am lucky to have my husband always at home!

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  9. It's really overwhelming everytime someone you love or your spouse has to go that far. I feel yah. ��

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  10. Oh sweet mama. This breaks my heart reading this. I can only imagine how tough and isolating it is to say goodbye to your spouse over and over again. And yet, you remain so brave and do what you need to do to keep life going until he comes back. Big hugs to you, and what a wonderful family you have!

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  11. My husband is not part of military but I also felt this every time he go to work abroad. It's sad but I know you and I can overcome that sadness.

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  12. I'm sorry you had to say goodbye. I hope he can come home to you all soon. Best wishes to him!

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  13. Sending so much love to you all! I can't imagine how hard it is to say goodbye for now.

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  14. I cannot imagine! So many hugs to you. I am so grateful for you and your family. Without families like yours, our country would be in jeopardy.

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  15. That must be a very difficult situation for you, but at least you have someone you can wait for! Stay strong! :)

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  16. That’s a difficult and hard situation you and your family are in. I hope he has a great time and that he comes back home soon! Thanks for sharing.

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  17. I can’t imagine how hard that is! My sister’s husband is in the military as well, and I am in awe of yalls strength!!

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  18. I am so sorry you are going through this yet again. I'm thinking of your family always.

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  19. I am sorry, yes it is difficult for you say goodbye. Thanks for the Service he is doing for the country and also to you for all the sacrifice you are making.

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  23. The sacrifices they make to honor and protect our country. Thank you for your service sir! I hope he gets back soon. Giving a prayer to you and your family. That's really sad seeing your loved one leaving. Hugs for you be strong.

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