Sunday, June 13, 2021

When My Daughter Told Me She Was Pansexual


Honestly, I had a feeling my daughter was attracted to other girls early on. She'd tell me quite openly in elementary school if she found someone to be pretty. Heck, in sixth grade she said she went out with a girl, but in sixth grade "going out" means Facetiming and hanging out against the wall of the school. She was a bit nervous telling me this and I was just like, "Okay. Whatever makes you happy." 

Then as Middle School went on she would talk more and more about different girls she found attractive. Oh, she'd also talk about some boys she found attractive. In fact, in seventh grade she "went out" with a boy (she and the girl decided they were better off as friends) and that went okay.

But then one day she was like, "I'm pansexual" and honestly I had to look that up because I wasn't sure. There is nothing wrong with educating yourself. Pansexual basically means that a person is attracted to anyone regardless of what they identify as. Men, women, trans, etc--pan means ALL. 

Here's the Pansexual flag:


It sounds exactly like my daughter. I mean, she has a bunch of friends with all sorts of personalities. She doesn't just hang out with specific group of people. She's friends with the straight A students. She's friends with the average students. She's even friends with the students who would be considered "troubled." So pansexual makes sense. 

Oh, sure she's been told by some religious friends that it's wrong. And she tells them they are incorrect. She's been told that she's too young to know for sure. She insists that she knows. 

So what should you do if your child admits something like this to you? Be there for them. Do not make them feel bad. That can make them pull away and not want to open up. It helps that we aren't religious, but if you are, hopefully remember that God is supposed to love everyone. 

I am proud of my daughter for being who she is. And she knows I am supportive. Before I even knew about this, we were supportive of Pride, and not just for the month of June. Love is love, after all. 


When my daughter graduated Middle School, she went up to receive her award sporting the Pansexual flag. I was proud of her. I mean, this IS Texas and people can be quite close minded here. Natalie doesn't care. She is who she is. 






And I completely love it. 

37 comments:

  1. It's great that she knows who she is and that you are there for her!

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  2. You handled it perfectly! We recently had a similar situation in our home and I said the same thing. "Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy."

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  3. Aww this is lovely - I love that she was able to tell you and you have been so supportive! Awesome Mum!

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  4. Kids are faced with so many things in middle school and they are trying to figure it all out. You did well with this.

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  5. I've never seen the flag before. It's very confusing growing up and you see all sorts on tv. They'll find their own way but a parents support is very important.

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  6. Not a term I have heard of but what is most important is that she knows she has your love ans support

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  7. It's great to know that she knows who she is and that she is confident to show it to the world. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  8. You live the way you want to live - thats how it should be.

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  9. That's great that she isn't afraid to be who she is in this tough world!

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  10. That's wonderful that she is comfortable discussing these things with you, and that you are such an accepting family. Sadly, not all families are open to these discussions.

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  11. I love how supportive you are and yes God is supposed to love all so that's a great point.

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  12. I love that she marches to the beat of her own drum and that you support her! I work in a high school and I wish I had parents that would support their child like this!

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  13. Scarlett BrooklynJune 15, 2021 at 3:11 AM

    I love her honesty, it's so adorable and she's so pretty!

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  14. Such a beautiful way to support your daughter. Loving our kids is the best way to support them . You are doing this right!

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  15. Aww I love that's she so open! its awesome!! thanks for sharing this

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  16. The first time I heard it I had to look it up also. Love is love and you guys are amazing :)

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  17. It's beautiful to be who you are and to know at such a young age! Bravo!

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  18. Happy Pride Month! I’m so happy she’s living life on her own terms.

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  19. I learned something today. Till now I don't have any idea of Pansexual. Natalie taught me something. she is brave girl let live her dream.

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  20. Glad to know she has your support. I admire parents who does just that. -LYNNDEE

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  21. You are an amazing mother! Not every parent has this ability to understand their kids! Love her honesty, too ❤️ Thanks for sharing and yes, happy Pride Month��

    Thanks,
    Everything Enchanting

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  22. I love how open she was about this thing. And so glad to hear supported her.
    She is an amazing girl.

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  23. I love how open and authentic Natalie is. She’s true to herself and embraces that. And it’s because of your posts about Natalie that I knew what pansexual was. And my daughter told me last month that she is as well. Love is Love. And she is like Natalie. She embraces who she is. No matter what. It’s a good way to be.

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  24. I can't tell you how much I love this post. I think the most imporant thing we can do as parents is support our children. I see too many parents out there overly concerned with their child's sexual orientation. It's not about that!

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  25. I think we should be able to love who we want without judgement. It's great to hear you are so supportive. It can help her be open with you.

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  26. I love how accepting and supportive you are, I am sure it means the world to her!

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  27. This post brings me so much happiness. Thank you for sharing your acceptance and open mindedness with your daughter and others and being able to foster a safe space where she felt comfortable confiding in you.

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  28. It is wonderful that you are so supportive and that your daughter knows she can always come to you. That is how we do things in our house as well.

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  29. She is lucky to have you as a mom to be so supportive. We can all be a little more understanding and educated, for sure. And you are right on, God loves everyone!!

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  30. It is really lovely and great that at a young age she already knows who she is.

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  31. You handled it so well, I'm glad she has such a strong support system and she can be who she is freely

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  32. I was not too familiar with this term. I'm a very open and accepting person and I'm glad you handled it so well too!

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  33. I admire your daughter for being authentic to herself and having the confidence to tell you about it. Likewise, you are admirable as a mom for supporting her.

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  34. God is supposed to love everyone... I so like that line! Happy to know that your daughter is open to sharing this to you.

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  35. I absolutely love how free spirited she is. You being a supportive parent is going to help her navigate so many aspects of her life!

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  36. You are fortunate that your daughter is so open with you. Communication is very important and not as common as you'd think.

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  37. This is a great post, I was just explaining to my neighbor what it meant to be pan the other day. She was not clear on the terminology so I was trying to help clarify a bit, since I have a few family members that identify as pan. I completely appreciate seeing more posts like this to help educate and spread information to those that may not really know or understand.

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