Wednesday, August 25, 2021

When Your Teen Is Mad On The First Day Of School

It was the first day of high school and my daughter was upset. 

She even had tears sliding down her cheeks.

It was tempting to give in. But.

"Natalie, I'm not going to let you get a ride to school from a parent I don't know." I held firm. I had said this multiple times already, but it didn't seem to be computing with Natalie. 

See, she and some friends were texting, and one of them was like, "My mom said she'd pick us all up and take us to school."

The problem is, I didn't know that parent and I barely know the friend. When Natalie had asked, I had given her the same response as written above. 

"But. It's the first day of SCHOOL and I'm scared and I won't know anyone when I get off the bus!" Natalie shrieked. 

I felt for her, I did. She rides the bus and stepping off of it on the first day of high school into a crowd of unfamiliar faces is frightening. I know because I've done it before. But I knew she'd find someone she knew quickly because she has many friends. 

"You will be fine," I promised. 

She gave a loud sigh and another tear splashed on her cheek.

It was not how I envisioned her first day of high school to go. Not that I had high expectations. I mean, neither of us are morning people so we sort of sit on the couch and grunt responses.

"Natalie, want breakfast?"






I don't do a special first day of school breakfast because who has the energy for that? 

I did, however, want first day of school photos. And I knew with the way Natalie was acting that it would not be happening.

"Please. The mom is not a murderer!" Natalie tried again.

Okay, well, how does she know that for sure? Has she seen the episodes of 20/20 that I have where an unsuspecting mom or dad actually had a secret life and WAS a serial killer? They were totally hiding behind their families so no one would suspect. Google BTK.

I mean, odds are, the parent was perfectly fine. But. There was that small chance that I wasn't willing to take.

"No," I repeated. "You need to leave for the bus. Can I get a photo?"

"No," Natalie answered, dramatically tossing her backpack onto her shoulder. She dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex. 

Again, I felt bad, but no, I did not give in.

So she left and I didn't get a first day of school photo. Well, I did, but it was like this:

And yes, I hated how we left things. But sometimes you have to hold firm. 

(Also, when she got home all was well again. She said she understood why I said no, but still insisted, "I would have been fine." Probably. But being a parent means saying no many times, even if your kid doesn't always get it.)


  1. It's funny because in our case it would probably have been a teen offering to drive the other teens rather than a parent! Hope she had a good day anyway.

  2. Great job mom. Its such a hard job but I would've done the same thing. In today's world, you don't know.

  3. That is a very real story. Kids do not know better than the parents and I support your decision to not let her go with a stranger

  4. Teens are hard at times. My teen started high school and was uneasy the first day but now he is fine.

  5. School is hard, especially after a short vacation! I hope she had a good day after all!

  6. "I mean, neither of us are morning people so we sort of sit on the couch and grunt responses." �� This had me rolling. Everyone in my family is a morning person and it's just too much!

    That was probably so hard to see her emotional but way to stay firm. Also totally relate to that rogue thought of watching too much 20/20.

    1. Thank you! And yes, 20/20 always frightens me. But I can't stop watching!

  7. I get her, but I get you too. You did the right thing. It's good that you hold firm, it's for the better.

  8. I do agree with your decision not to let your daughter ride with the parent that you haven't met yet. It's always a good idea to be on the safe side of things.

  9. You did the right thing. I would have done the same. Our kids don't always like our decisions but they do come around (eventually) to seeing our point. Plus, I'd bet money that when she got to school she found out someone else wasn't allowed to go in that car.

  10. You have to do the safe thing for your family! I would've done the same.

  11. You did the right thing Mama! It's so hard sometimes though. I"m glad you came around.

  12. You did great and I'm glad she understood eventually

  13. you did the right thing!! such a great mom. its so hard sometimes I bet!

  14. Way to stand firm and not give in! It's so hard. But I know she'll appreciate your protection for her someday. Sounds like she reacted well when she got home.

  15. You did the right thing, today so many parents want to be their kids "friend" not a parent, which never ends well for kid. The kids end up growing up and realizing they had "non parent- parents" which were actually just children themselves. Being a parent is hard it always has been, one day she will understand in retrospect, and in turn will have more respect for you as an adult.

  16. You are right! And I am sure deep inside she was happy to get a no and know that has a mom that cares about her!

  17. Yup, sometimes you have to say no and she's gotta be okay with that. Thanks for the parenting reminder.

  18. There always seems to be a lot of drama with teens. It really is hard.. but we roll with it I guess.

  19. Yes there are always drama with teenager. Mine is yet to become teenager still drama is there especially during the morning. You are a best mom. Natalie learned it.


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