"Do you have to poop?" I just asked Tom no more than ten minutes ago.
He gave me a surprised stare from the couch. "Um?" He raised an eyebrow in question.
I gave an impatient sigh. "I'm about ready to put that Lysol cling stuff in the toilet bowl and if you have to go, it'll ruin the whole point."
Seriously, one time I had put that Lysol stuff in and no sooner than I had circled it around the bowl than Tom was strolling into the bathroom, whistling and happily closing the door behind him.
I didn't want that to happen this time. I'd just like to have clean toilets for at least a few hours before Tom goes and puts his boy germs all in it.
So anyhow. Cleaning toilets isn't the only thing I've done today.
No, I've done a lot.
In the morning I headed to Gymboree for their Baby Sale. For those who don't know they have $10 and $20 price marks for children up to 5T. Plus you can use a 20% off coupon which makes the $10 items $8 and the $20 items $16. (I know a lot of people can figure that out on their own. But if you're Math Stupid like I am, there you go.)
Tom was actually awake which is rare. Usually he sleeps during the day. But since he slept through most of the night he was on the computer.
So I told him, "Great! You're up. You can watch the baby. Here," I said and plopped a confused Natalie on his lap.
She immediately reached her arms back up for me.
Hey? Her look clearly said. Don't I get a say in where I go? I want to go with you.
But going shopping with Natalie is not fun. She's not old enough to appreciate the act. And my Gymboree is incredibly small and her stroller is mammoth sized so I'm constantly running into human beings or racks. Then Natalie always wants out of her stroller and announces that fact with a loud shriek that causes adults to wince and young children to clap their hands over their ears and shout, "Mommy! That baby is LOUD!" while shooting Natalie a dirty look. So then I have no choice but to pick her up WHILE pushing the stroller. And then I continue to bump into racks and people and seem to say, "I'm sorry," every two seconds.
"I'll be back," I promised Natalie and gave her a kiss.
She started to whimper. Her arms were still in the air, demanding to be picked up.
When she saw me heading for the door she looked utterly horrified and slid off Tom's lap even though Tom was all, "It's okay, sweetie. You can hang out with Daddy.."
Natalie toddled after me, her whining increasing with each step.
Her arms were still in the air.
It's heartbreaking, really. I mean I'm flattered she likes me so much but sheesh, sometimes I need a break.
"I love you. I'll be back," I said and reached for the front door.
Now Natalie was flat out crying.
Mommy is leaving without me. MOMMY IS LEAVING WITHOUT ME!
I rushed out the front door and shut it behind me. I heard a heartbreaking wail followed by a, "It's okay, sweetie. Really. Daddy is here!"
The crying continued as I walked to my beloved PT Cruiser.
I felt guilty as I slid behind the wheel.
But that guilt began to dissolve as I got closer and closer to the mall.
Almost there. Clothes! Cute clothes!
After I parked I went right through the mall and walked quickly to Gymboree.
I'm a woman on a mission was what my walk clearly showed to the other people.
And then there it was. Gymboree.
I walked in and headed right for the new line. Immediately there were ten things that I wanted.
But I can't...
And again I wished that I were rich and could grab whatever I wanted.
My store hadn't quite put out the entire line because, as the sales assistant told me, "We just got it in yesterday at 4:30."
So some things were missing which I asked about. But they just walked in the back and got the things that I needed.
I got another Gymbuck. And some uber cute clothes. And yes, I'll post pictures of Natalie in them tomorrow. Right now she's napping.
Then I called Tom and asked what he wanted for lunch. I told him I was just getting Chinese food in the mall and he said he'd take that too.
"Really?" I asked. "I thought all you liked was sweet and sour chicken.."
"No. I like sesame chicken now. Remember?"
Oh right. See at my Mom's house we ordered Chinese food. As usual, all Tom wanted was sweet and sour chicken. But then I prompted him to take a bite of my sesame chicken.
"It looks slimy," Tom said, wrinkling his nose at my outstretched fork with a tiny piece of chicken on the end.
"It's delicious," I promised.
Tom leaned over and sniffed it. "It smells."
"It's DELICIOUS," I repeated.
Then he took a cautious bite. Surprise washed over his face. "Actually," he said, chewing thoughtfully. "That's pretty good."
So then he added another Chinese dish that he liked to his tiny list.
(So far it's sweet and sour chicken, sesame chicken and beef fried rice. Oh and egg rolls, depending on how they're made.)
"I'm really an easy person to get food for," Tom told me over the phone.
Huh? Really? EASY?
That is not how I'd describe Tom. I mean the man only likes about 20% of foods in the world!
I ended up getting him a combo with rice, sesame chicken and sweet and sour chicken.
For myself I got lo mein, sesame chicken and bourbon chicken.
Of course I also picked up my sweet tea from Chick-fil-a.
I'm stunned that there are people who don't even know what sweet tea is. One time I got some sweet tea and this lady behind me went, "What's sweet tea? I know what tea is but what's in sweet tea?"
I explained it to her and she wrinkled her nose. "Ew sugar," she said.
How about YUM sugar!
Oh well, more sweet tea for me.
(She's probably one of those Splenda users. I tried to make sweet tea out of Splenda and I'm sorry, but it's disgusting. It has a really strange after taste.)
Then I headed for home.
I walked through the front door, bracing myself for the house to be a complete disaster and Natalie to be on the floor sitting in her own filth while pitifully going, "Mama," every few seconds.
I saw none of that though.
No, Natalie was happily playing with one of her toys and the house wasn't that messy. Of course Yogo Bits were scattered all over the floor but that's nothing compared to what I've seen the living room look like before. Tom was stretched on the couch watching Spongebob. I don't know how he can watch the same episodes over and over. If I see that episode where Spongebob takes Pearl to prom one more time I think I'll scream.
When Natalie saw me she came over with a big grin on her face.
"Did she cry long?" I asked Tom.
"Nope. Only about five minutes and then she and I just snuggled for a bit and watched Spongebob."
Then we ate lunch. Natalie ate a few bites of lo mein and rice and then insisted that she was done.
I wish the girl would eat more.
Then while we were eating Tom said, "We should go to Target."
You have to understand that my husband is not big on shopping.
So after we ate we headed for Target. And I figured out why Tom wanted to go to Target. He wanted Madden 09 for his PSP.
"Well you DID get all those clothes," he pointed out.
I did pick up a shoe organizer for Natalie since a lot of their college stuff was 50% off.
And now I'm home and I've cleaned some toilets.
Wouldn't you know that Tom just announced that he has to use the bathroom?
I shot him a dirty look and he went, "I'll clean it afterwards. I promise!"
Ugh. Living with a man can be so disgusting sometimes.